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How to Have a Healthy Marital Relationship

Updated on January 9, 2021
nitinkhaire profile image

Nitin is a life coach, executive coach, husband, and father. He has been happily married to the same girl for the last 24 years.


The subject of marital relationships is a very widely discussed subject. All of us are aware of this.

All human relationships are important because man is a social animal. No man is an island. We need each other in every aspect of life.

In no other area is a healthy relationship more important than in a marriage. The very basis of a good marriage is a good relationship. If the relationship is not good, then the marriage suffers and both the partners suffer too.

With this in mind, here are 7 keys to a healthy marital relationship.

If you are in a broken relationship, or on the verge of a divorce, please consider the following. I believe it will help you to restore your relationship and make it strong.

1. Love Is the Foundation

Love is the absolute foundation of the relationship between husband and wife. If the marriage is not built on the foundation of selfless love, it won't last very long.

There are many words in the Greek language that describe love.

One word Eros means physical love. It is a selfish love that just wants physical or sexual gratification.

The second word is Phileo which means Friendly love.

This is better than Eros. But it is still not enough.

The third word is Storge and it means family love. It is the love that family members have. This is good too but not the best.

The fourth word for love is Agape. It means selfless, unilateral, ultimate love. It can be compared only to the love of God.

It is Agape love that is needed in a marital relationship for it to survive. Agape will cause the relationship to not just survive, but to thrive.

2. Communication Is Vital

Communication is of utmost importance in any relationship, more so in a marriage relationship. Communication is necessary for each partner to know what exactly are they thinking.

It helps to express their thoughts and feelings so that there is no room for misunderstanding. Communication is one of the basic necessities of human beings. Without communication, we cannot survive.

We have come a long way from the stone age where humanity has developed sophisticated means of communication. In a marriage relationship, good communication is vital.

Men are usually less expressive than women. This means the men have to put in more effort to communicate with the woman.

Good communication in marriages will make the marriage strong and sturdy.


3. Be Understanding

The role of being understanding cannot be underestimated in a marriage. Generally, both the partners don't really know each other very well at the beginning.

So a lot of patience and understanding is required. Both are getting to know each other. They discover new areas of their lives day after day.

When people start living together, it's another story. They can now see each other's weaknesses more clearly. This calls for a lot of understanding.

The wife is new to the surroundings and family so the husband has to be more considerate towards her. This will maintain peace and harmony in the relationship and in the house.

4. Mutual Respect is a Must

Both the husband and wife must respect each other's opinions. What is important to the husband, may not be important to the wife and vice-versa.

That's why they need to learn to respect each other and try to understand the reason behind the difference of opinion. What the wife is looking for is love and what the husband is looking for is respect.

Husbands, if you really love your wife from your heart, she will know it. And she will do anything for you once she knows how much you love her.

Similarly, wives, if you really honor and respect him, he will do anything to please you.


5. Don't Have Unrealistic Expectations

Most problems in marital relationships start because of unrealistic expectations. Both partners need to be realistic with each other.

It is said that if love is blind, marriage is an eye-opener. Don't expect your husband or wife to be perfect. Both are still learning to be good at their new roles in the family.

Be grateful to each other. Kindness in the relationship will make it strong. Have expectations but let them be down to earth and real.

6. Beware of In-Laws

I have to be careful how to put this across lest I be misunderstood. What I mean by being beware of in-laws, is that the parents of both husband and wife, want to help the new couple but they end up complicating matters usually.

I believe that the involvement of in-laws should be minimum in the marriage of their children. They should let the couple handle their lives.

It is a learning experience for the couple and they should have the freedom to make mistakes and also rectify them. Many problems arise because the parents are intervening constantly.

The husband should stop being a mama's boy. The wife should stop threatening to go to mama's house every time there is an argument.


7. The Ability to Forgive Has to Be Developed

In any relationship, forgiveness plays a huge role. It's no different in a marital relationship. Forgiveness will heal the relationship whenever there are wounds.

Believe me, you will have opportunities to forgive more times than you are comfortable with. You better learn to forgive quickly if you want your marriage to survive and thrive.

Unforgiveness will ruin the relationship, so being forgiving is foundational to the marital relationship. Holding on to unforgiveness or bitterness is like keeping poison in your body. It will kill you slowly but surely. So get rid of it as quickly as you can.

A perfect marriage is just two imperfect persons coming together and refusing to give up on each other


If you want your marital relationship to be strong, then put these 7 principles into practice. Your marriage will not just survive but will actually thrive if you act on these 7 principles.

I hope that you will enjoy a wonderful marital relationship.

What do you need most in your marriage?

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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Nitin Khaire


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