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How to Know if a Chick Flick is “Guy Worthy” – What You Can Watch without Losing Your Man Card
An Accidental Viewing
Damien stated, “I need to watch a war movie.” Followed immediately by the question, “What’s The Notebook about?”
My friend Zac looked at me with more excitement in his eyes than a toddler on Christmas morning. “What?! You have never seen The Notebook? That is possibly the greatest war movie of all time!”
Zac and I then proceeded to tell Damien about The Notebook – one of the best WWII movies to ever enter the cinema. As Damien eagerly started the movie, the scene couldn’t have been better. Sick and having just received a package from home, our Australian friend was holding tissues in one hand and a box of chocolates in the other - the same accessories most woman have during this film.
With Kleenex and chocolate in hand, Damien was ready for a quality war movie – The Notebook.
Although we kept expecting to hear him complain, Zac and I sat at our desks for an hour – with not a peep from Damien. Until, in his Australian accent we hear, “Finally! It took them sixty minutes to get to the war scene!”
The movie ended and Damien told us we were jerks. We agreed with a hearty round of laughter that had been so hard to restrain over the past two hours while watching Damien endure this classic chick-flick film. It was great.
Although Damien had no idea that he was watching a woman’s movie, making him innocent of this slight stumble, many men watch these feminine films completely aware of what they’re going into. This is a dangerous zone to be avoided as much as possible. However, if viewing is inevitable, watching them in private is the next best move.
Sometimes such films must be watched to appease the wrath of the gentler gender or to compensate for watching a football game at a later time. If this is the case, make sure that the film abides by the following four laws in order to prevent the loss of your ManCard.
Men and Movies
What Films Can Men Safely Watch?
The Four Laws of Chick-Flick Viewing for Those with Testosterone
1. The Leading Man Doesn't Cry
Unless it is because someone died, no male actor should be crying in a film. If he is so self-absorbed that the leaving of his girlfriend, bro, or job causes him to weep like a 6-year-old girl, he should not be a role model - therefore not on television. Do men cry? Yes. Should they cry in front of millions of viewers? No. A male actor crying on film (again, unless due to death or excruciating physical pain) is an embarrassment to the movie, the actor, and man-kind as a whole.
2. It's Funny
A chick-flick is perfectly safe to watch if it maintains a steady flow of humor. Laughing creates positive endorphins and exercises the abs. Therefore, watching a woman's movie that makes you laugh will not be a waste of time because you are simultaneously improving your overall mood while building a six-pack. Keep up the good work!
3. The Woman Isn't a Player
Women hate movies where the guys chase after multiple women. We should hate the opposite. For example - The Notebook. Terrible movie! The leading woman cheats on two guys and then gets to choose which of the two she wants to live happily ever after with. What kind of women is today's society raising?!
4. It's a Classy Film
The occasional viewing of a chick-flick because it is a classic is acceptable. Especially if the leading man is suave and viewers of the film walk away with a new repertoire of witty comebacks, smooth lines, and jokes. If the man walks away with an improved level of classiness, it's a worthwhile film. This does not include Twilight or other such films. Just because teenage girls around the world are asking their boyfriends why they can't be like Edward does not make a film's leading man classy. On the contrary. Watching a classy film with a classy lady will NOT end with the lady asking you to be like someone else. Classy ladies don't do that.
So there it is gentlemen! People say it’s bad if a woman takes away your manliness. I conclude that it is even worse if a movie does it. Abide by the afore mentioned Laws of Manliness and you will be able to confidently watch movies without losing your ManCard.
To avoid other tough situations, read What Not to Say to Women (From Personal Experience) and learn how to attract women by reading A Flawless Way to Meet Women.