- Gender and Relationships»
- Dating & Online Dating
How to Meet Someone Online for Dating
Creating a Dating Profile - The Rules
Choosing to create an online profile for dating is a big step in getting active in your romantic life.
Making sure that your profile is good, and that it is safe for you can be a bit tricky.
Here are some rules to follow when making your profile to make sure that you are safe, and that you meet people who are interested in you and your interests.
- Don't use your first or last name as part of your user name
- Don't list your address, phone number, email address or other pertinent information
- DO disclose your age or age range within 3 years.
- DO disclose your current honest status of single/married/divorced/separated/widowed without saying "it's complicated"
- DO share if you have children and whether or not they are living with you
- Don't post photos that include others in them
- Don't show photos of your home or apartment, your vehicle or your workplace
- Don't disclose your school, work, children's school or worship location
Before you create your profile, think about the things that are the most important to you. If you cannot be with someone who drinks or uses drugs, listing it in your profile will make sure that you eliminate those people from your search when they are looking at your information.
Write at least one paragraph. Think like a reporter. Tell about yourself. Here is an example of what I mean:
"Hello, I am a 25 year old mother of one child who is not yet in school. I am divorced and my ex-husband and I share full custody. He and I have a good relationship where our child is concerned. I am looking to meet fellow single parents here and be able to go out with and/or without children for a fun time. I like hiking, dirt bike racing, reading about history and spending time in church on Sunday with worship and activities. I like all sorts of music, but my favorite is pop and top 40.
I am looking for someone who likes eating out, trips to parks and zoos and time spent being friends first. I do want to have a relationship, but I think that a friendship is important before anything else."
Make sure when you post photos, that they are recent. Showing an older photo of yourself is misleading and it only leads to disappointment on the side of the person that you are meeting. To some people, it is deception, which is not a good way to start out. I always recommend that you include one full body photo and one close up of your face.
Don't add your social network sites, your Skype information or that of any other social network. People who get to know you should know you before you allow them to be a part of your social media and before they get to 'meet' your friends and family.
Safety Needs to Come First
There is no reason that you should meet a complete stranger in person at your home or theirs the first time. Choose a place that is safe, well lit and full of people.
Before you go on a date, let someone else know where you are going. Call and check in with them. No matter how well the date is going, keep in touch with at least one person.
I say that a good rule of thumb is this:
- A call or text before you leave your home.
- A call or text when you arrive.
- A call or text every hour to 90 minutes.
- A call or text if you go to a new location, including the new location information.
Don't travel in the same car together on your first date. Not Ever. You do not know enough about one another. Be safe. You are meeting a stranger.
Don't go to the other person's house without at least a few dates under your belt.
If you feel unsafe for whatever reason, explain that you need to leave and do so. Don't feel intimidated to stay. Remember that the first date is typically when people are on their best behavior. If someone is behaving in a way that you don't like, now is the time to cut the date short and leave. A friend shared with me the date where a man picked his nose, checked out the waitress and then farted at the table. She left. He called her several times and she blocked his number. He then asked her to perform a sexual act via her online profile as a public message. She blocked him there and reported him.
Safety should always come first.
Choose Something Fun to Do on Your First Date
I think that the worst date night ever for a first date is dinner, dancing and a movie. Why do I feel that way?
How much will you learn about the other person in a movie theater? You can't talk while the movie is showing.
How much talking will you do dancing? You can't hear one another over the music.
Dinner is nice, but it should not be the whole of the evening.
Look at fun things to do in your area. Think of things that are fun, public and easy to access for both of you. One of the most fun dates a friend went on was a picnic dinner, roller skating rink and a trip to a local museum where she and her date were interested in the exhibit showing. How good was the date? They are now married.
Asking Great Questions
The best way to learn about another person is to ask them questions that cannot be answered with a yes or a no.
Here are some example questions and statements:
- Tell me about your family
- Where did you grow up?
- How long have you lived in the area?
- What do you do for a living?
- Where have you traveled to?
- What is your faith/are you strong in your faith?
- What are your favorite books that you have read?
- What made you decide to do online dating?
- What are your hobbies?
- Do you follow any sports teams?
- What do you treasure?
- Where is your favorite place to go when you want to be alone?
Be prepared to answer questions as well. Be honest, take a deep breath and have a good time.
Knowing When to End the Date
Even if things are going well, there comes a time when the date should come to an end.
Here are some ways to end the date:
If you have planned activities at many different locations, if things are not going well, in between these locations can be a perfect time to get the evening ended. Just say "I am more tired than I realized. I think that I am going to have to wrap this up now."
If not, have a certain time in mind to end the date. Around that time, look at your watch and mention that you need to get home. Even if you are having a great time. Better to end on a good upswing rather than tired and down. I always say to end first dates early enough to get a good night of sleep for the following day.
How soon can a second date be scheduled? As soon as you both feel ready.
Have you ever dated online?
Dating Online 2
Would You Ever Date Online or Do It Again?
I love writing hubs and I hope that you like reading about internet dating. I answer all comments,so please share your thoughts with me. Share your good and bad stories about online dating here!