- Gender and Relationships»
- Romantic Intimacy
How to Say I Love You Your Way
Is Love a Feeling or An Action?
Actually, it is both.
Songs are written, poems as well, stories, books, films, all about this amazing thing called love.
What is love, anyway? Is it a feeling? Where when you see the person coming into the room, your heart speeds up and you yearn to touch them? Or is it an action, where you want to protect them, help them, and care for them? It can be all of these things and many more.
Only you can determine what you are feeling. Only you can know of whether you are in "like" or in love, suffering from a crush, or anything in between. If you are not in some sort of relationship, what you are feeling is more likely infatuation or a crush.
There are different types of relationships, and all can have love in them.
Family. The people to whom you are related by blood, marriage, adoption, foster family, or other similar situations. Typically, the type of love felt here is one of comfort, protection, care, preservation, and same mindedness of goals. The family in most normal households is very protective of one another, knows and notices each members' likes and dislikes, and will express honest opinions on sensitive issues.
In parental relationships, the caregiver role may reverse through time to where the child becomes the caregiver.
Friends. People with whom you choose to affiliate with on a regular basis. Friends are people who you socialize with by choice. They can be protective of one another, but not always. Friends may or may not know likes and dislikes, and may ebb and flow in intensity over time. Typically, there is a shared interest or experience.
Romantic partners. Person with whom you affiliate with on a regular basis. Person whom you socialize with by choice, and share very intimate details with about self. May or may not be sexual relationship. Person for whom you are willing to make sacrifices of time to be with, and willing to make plans with above all others.
How to Express Love Without Saying I Love You
There are many ways to express love for another person. One of the best and most effective ways to do this is to try and see things from their perspective. If you find this hard to do, try to remove your emotional attachment to the person when considering ways to express love.
Doing as an expression of love: An example would be Mark and Ginger. Mark and Ginger are students together in college. They have been dating for a few semesters. Mark notices that Ginger is struggling with one of her subjects, and it is also a subject that he struggles with. He decides to pay for a tutor for both of them, during which time, he only engages in study activities, allowing both of them to remain focused.
Finding ways to spend time with one another. Another example is Chris and Robin. While working together, Chris observes that Robin seems to be interested in more than work. An invitation is sent to a friends' party, which they both attend. Sparks fly, and soon enough, the two are dating. They begin a carpool so that more time can be spent together while maintaining separate households for the time.
In both the examples, the courter of affection and love is not making things uncomfortable by saying "I love you." They are literally letting the actions of kindness and compassion do the talking for them.
After a time, doing unexpected things is the extra effort that lets the target of your desire know that you are concerned about them as a person, that you care for their needs, and that you are eager to spend time with them.
Cards, letters, and emails are an effective way to express your feelings without having to say "I love you". Fondly, affectionately, dearly, and other similar words show that you care for the person more than just as a friend.
Timing the I Love You Moment
Hints that there is a mutual feeling there. There will come a time when you feel the mutual connection between you and the person that you care for and actually do love.
A decision should be made. Do you wait for the other person to tell you that they love you, or do you boldly announce that you love them? Once you have said "I love you", you cannot take it back or renounce it. To do so with such serious words is unkind and immature. Only utter these words if you are truly comfortable in not hearing them back.
Plan your place. These words should not be uttered casually the first time that they are said. It should be a place that is memorable.
Plan your time. Do you really feel that a crowded bar or party is the best venue to share with someone that you have the strongest feelings possible for them? Is it memorable? Of course not. What if your feelings are not reciprocated? Allow privacy and time.
Be sober. Don't let alcohol ruin a perfect moment. Nervousness can be charming. Drunkenness is embarrassing.
Let the person know that you have something important to tell them. You should be dating at this point, too. (Telling someone who you have a crush on when you have not even dated is awkward for both of you. Telling someone that you are dating is more appropriate.)
Don't make jokes. Serious statements deserve being respectful of the moment.
Explain in a short version how you have come to feel this way. Include their treatment of you, things you have in common, and the way you feel when you are with them. Explain that what you are about to say means a lot to you, but if not reciprocated, you are accepting of that.
Say the person's name as you look into their eyes. Then, say "I love you."
Wait for a reaction. If they do not feel the same right now, that is okay. Love is not a garment that you put on and take off. They need time to feel through their own heart and check out their feelings. Give them the time and space they need to process this. If they say "I love you, too", then you both have a wonderful memory to cherish. Good Luck to you, and to your budding relationship!
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