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How To Stop Being Shy Around The Guy You Like

Updated on January 1, 2011

When you're crushing on a guy big time, there's nothing worse than being too shy to even exist around him much less be able to talk to him or have him see you looking at him. Most girls have been there at some point in their lives - I know I have!

It just plain simply hurts to see other women sidle up to the guy you so desperately want for yourself but just can't bring yourself to give him one small clue that you are interested in him. The feelings of jealousy when this happens to you can be paralyzing.

The good news is that there are some ways you can stop being shy around the guy you like and the even better news is that I am going to share some of those tips with you right now.

Fake it until you make it

It sounds simple, but I have found that this is an all encompassing tip that can work in many areas of your life. This is the best tip I'm going to tell you and will help you pull off the other tips to follow.

If you're feeling shy, the idea here is to ACT AS IF you're confident and sure of yourself (not in a conceited way). Become an actor, play the part.

I have to really psyche myself up to do it but when I do, I really surprise myself! It's as if I'm outside my own body watching this girl who was always known as "the quiet girl" in high school say what she wants to say and talk to people that she normally wouldn't speak to in a way that she normally wouldn't speak to them.

In order to pull this one off, you're going to have to turn into the Nike symbol and "just do it." So pretend that you're not shy - become an actor for a minute - and let the actor in you go talk to your guy crush.

Make your smile a little more obvious than this one in order to be affective please!
Make your smile a little more obvious than this one in order to be affective please!

Just smile

How hard is it to smile? Not very. Yet.. I know how hard it can be to get up enough confidence to smile at the guy who makes your heart beat a million times per second.

But again, sometimes you just have to do it and smiling at your crush is a pretty simple way to start when you think about it. If the guy doesn't even know you exist, smiling at him might just be enough to grab his attention. Of course, don't be weird about it.. If the two of you have never spoken before, choose an appropriate time to smile at him such as when you're walking past each other in a hallway or stairwell or when you're both in the same elevator.

Guys can be a little dense though so don't expect him to realize that you like him just because you smiled at him the one time. Don't be overbearing about it (like we have to worry about that with you being shy!) but be sure to send a smile his way whenever the opportunity arises.

Many of the readings on how to flirt with a guy recommend smiling, holding his gaze for a few seconds if you can and then looking away with your eyes (but don't move your head).

Say hello

This is more advanced than the simple smile but c'mon, how hard is to get the words "hello" to roll off your tongue? Okay, I know, I know, it can be pretty hard when it comes to saying them to the guy who makes you feel the heat all over your body.

But think about it logically. It's just a hello, and you've surely said those words to OTHER people many times. So you can say the words, you just have to say them to HIM this time.

Again, if the two of you don't really interact, you'll have to choose an appropriate time to say hello. A good time is when there aren't many other people around and the two of you are walking past each other (if this situation doesn't happen often, you can MAKE it happen with good planning). That way, he'll think you're being friendly and not stalking him (hopefully).

Ideas for things to compliment your crush on

  • what he's wearing
  • his smile
  • his hairstyle especially if it's a new one (maybe he'll clue in that you've been paying attention to him)
  • one of his ideas that he spoke about at school or work
  • his cologne

Take the crush poll

Have you actually spoken to your guy crush yet?

See results

Compliment him

If you've passed the stage of smiling and saying hello, now is the time to actually try to talk to him. The problem is.. what do you say to him as a shy girl?

The easy way around this is to find something sincere to compliment him on. An obvious choice could be what he's wearing or if you're feeling brave you could compliment him on his smile. If you do this last one, he will almost for sure know that you like him which if you want your crush to go any further than just a crush, is going to have to happen eventually, isn't it?

Note: It doesn't matter THAT much what the compliment is. While you should try to be sincere about it, you are just trying to break the ice here and hope that it can turn into a conversation and hopefully more. Besides, it's in your best interest to try to make the guy feel good about himself!

Be yourself!

Even if yourself is shy, remember that the guy that you like is only a human just like you are even though you may have categorized him into Godly status in your own mind.

Relax, be yourself, try to let go a little bit. Have fun and good luck. Don't let those other girls steal away the man that you want!


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    • Angel709 profile image


      7 years ago from midwest

      Great comments and great article, @Ronhi, yes it does work on girls too. The biggest turn off is when a guy treats a lady as if he's unworthy of her presence. Find someone else to help practice confidence testers with, but when you approach your crush, it's time to relax and present yourself authentically. Men and women sense tension in body language and unless they're near-professional at putting you at ease, they will pick up the tension and move away or worse..put you in the "just friends" category. This is worse because you'll see them interacting with other guys while you suffer and only wish you had her romantic attention. It's important to work on confidence BEFORE approaching the person, otherwise, you'll still blow it further into the relationship when they feel overwhelmed by your idolizing behavior.

    • ronhi profile image


      7 years ago from Kenya

      hmmmm..i wonder if the same advice can work for a guy that has a crush on a girl...? Well, i just try and see what happens...

    • AnishG profile image


      7 years ago from India

      Great hub. I used to be a very shy guy, to be frank. But now I'm pretty open most of the times, except in front of strangers that I find to be weird, lol.

      But yeah, I think you've written some good tips there! It's all about clearing away doubts, being yourself, kicking away any interrupting thoughts and just present the true self to the world, uttering out just about anything you want to (but in a controlled way!! You don't wanna sound offensive or just plain inconsiderate retard, lol.)

    • profile image

      Jordan H. 

      7 years ago

      There is a boy at my school who likes me and im really shy to talk to him i mean we have talked but not a lot i give him a hug everyday and i dont feel nervous but this advice will definitely help me

    • crystolite profile image


      7 years ago from Houston TX

      Good advice which i enjoyed reading because is happening to me.

    • spotlight19 profile image

      Jennifer Pena 

      7 years ago from California

      This is good advice:)

    • pan1974 profile image


      7 years ago from Columbus,Ga

      Wow this is good advice thanks for this blessing help

    • profile image

      So unconfident 

      7 years ago

      When my friends walk over 2 the guy I like, I walk off 'cos I'm 2 shy 2 talk 2 him or even face him. I catch him looking at me when I'm smiling or laughing,I look at him & try 2 put a smile on my face but I feel myself going red so I look away. I told my friends I like him & they told him so I told them I don't like him but I still do.

      I really need advice I can't even say hi

    • PurpleOne profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Canada

      @bcatgray - yes, this advice could be used for dealing with most anyone when you're shy. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

    • bcatgray profile image


      8 years ago from United States of America

      Awww...this is good advice. I've been married forever, but I am shy around new people that I meet. Some of this advice can work for that just the same. Thanks!


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