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How to Be Better at Talking to Strangers

Updated on May 31, 2019
EvieSparkes profile image

Evie Sparkes is a published novelist, content writer and company director from the UK.

How to Make Chit Chat With New People

This is something many people struggle with. They find it incredibly tough to make idle chat. This sort of talk doesn't have a purpose as such, and some people struggle with no conversation focus.

They end up either drying up completely or rambling, all the while feeling awkward.

How to engage with anyone

It's completely possible for anyone to do chit chat. Even if you aren't enjoying it, it won't show.

  • Keeping eye contact is essential in making the other person confident that you are actually listening to them. There really is nothing more off-putting than talking to someone when they are looking over your shoulder, looking at the floor or looking elsewhere every few seconds. If I'm speaking to someone who is always looking around at everything else that is going on, I find it uncomfortable and a bit rude. They probably aren't intentionally doing it, but even-so, it does come across as being so.
  • Ask them their opinion on things, ask about them in general. If you find it hard to talk about yourself, then let them do the talking. Most people will pepper the conversation with questions about you anyway. It's easier to talk about yourself when you are asked a direct question.
  • Keep the conversation light. No-one wants to get into a deep conversation with someone they hardly know.
  • Stay away from politics and religion
  • Remember: It's not all about you

How to Talk to Perspective Business Contacts or Clients

There is something I do. I have always done it but never realised it was a sales tactic. If I am talking to a perspective client or business contact, I tend to mirror them. I can talk to them in their own style and pick up their personality traits. I find myself adapting my chat style to who I am talking to.

I'm not saying everyone will warm to me that way, but mostly they do. They don't really know me and they aren't actually getting the real me, but a version of me. That's okay though. Clients and contacts aren't friends, they are acquaintances. You don't need to feel bad that you aren't being the you that you show to your friends and family. You just need to be able to demonstrate that YOU are the one for them. You understand them and they would be mad not to work with someone so obviously right for them and their business.

I am always pretty confident that once a perspective client meets with me or talks to me on the phone that they will come on board.

How to Be Engaging in Conversation

It's one thing talking to someone but a whole other thing to be engaging, so that they are actually enjoying the conversation and go away thinking what a cool person you are.

I pride myself on the fact that I can talk to anyone and I do! I like people and find them interesting. I mostly direct the conversation towards them and prefer to let them do most of the talking. There really is nothing more off-putting than talking to someone that talks at you.

Why would someone you don't know, want to stand there and listen to you banging on and on about yourself showing no interest in them? Answer: They wouldn't.

When we are talked at, we start to wonder why we are listening and we dread bumping into that 'up themselves' person ever again. Don't be that person.

Make Anyone Fall For You

By that I don't mean in the romantic sense. People fall for people all of the time. We are drawn to engaging and considerate people. We are happy to bump into them at parties or events and we actually make our way over to them for more of their engaging conversation.

Don't try too hard. You don't need to force the conversation. Be yourself and let yourself be funny if that's what you are like. I always say that I can make anyone like me. whilst that may seem incredibly arrogant, that's not how I am. I just adapt to people and I make them feel special. Not in an over the top way, but because I like to make people feel good. It's nice to see people happy isn't it? I even see difficult people as a challenge. I might even seek them out!

My cousin is incredibly good at conversation. He always remembers what you've told him previously and he's great at two way conversation. Everyone likes talking to him and everyone comments on how lovely he is. He's pretty gorgeous too I might add!


Comments

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    • EvieSparkes profile imageAUTHOR

      Evie Sparkes 

      11 months ago

      Thanks both :)

    • Gurpinder Vir Singh Rai profile image

      Gupi 

      11 months ago

      Lots of useful tips. Thanks for sharing.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      12 months ago from Chicago

      Very sound advice!

      I believe the reason why so many people find it difficult to talk to strangers is mentally they are more focused on themselves and what the other person might be thinking about them as opposed to being genuinely interested in the (other) person!

      If we are impressed by someone rather than trying to be "impressive" it's easier to relax and come across sincere.

      Most people live in a world whereby all that matters is how (they) look and sound to others as opposed to being interested in others.

      Last but not least not everyone is going to like you!

      If you don't believe me go ask Jesus or Martin Luther King. :)

      These are two guys who walked around talking about love, tolerance, and forgiveness and they both got killed.

      "If you live for other people's acceptance you will die from their rejection." - Lecrae

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