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How to cope with unrequited love

Updated on October 30, 2010
Unrequited Love
Unrequited Love

Don't lose hope in love

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love", a quote by Charlie Brown summarizes the concept of unrequited love.The feeling of pain and helplessness one feels when one's beloved is just not concerned about her is truly overwhelming. I am going to use the male gender for the beloved, just so that it is easier for me to write. And no, I am not going to talk about how to turn that unrequited love into love from him.. this article is about how to let go. Of course, one does not consider love unrequited unless all her efforts have failed, or realizes its not even worth trying anymore.

Days and nights are spent just thinking about the beloved, and making plans to somehow get him attracted to you. Friends often find you staring at him, and you are surprised at yourself. Dreams are woven around them, and life is spent in those dreams. It all seems very pleasurable for sometime.

And then, you finally make up your mind to go up to your object of love and express your feelings. But.. alas! The guy,

  • laughs it off
  • tells you he is already dating someone or is married
  • or worse.. is gay.

Sometimes, it so happens, that you never manage to express your feelings while he was close to you, and then one fine day you realize that he is leaving the college/office/neighborhood or city, such that you are never going to see him again.

It is then that your love turns into something called unrequited love. You feel yourself drowning in a sea of gloom and hopelessness. You feel that is the end of the world. But remember, one never ought to take life seriously.

  • We humans are emotional beings, and we should never let our emotions burden us. Experiencing an emotion is always better than not experiencing it, and lost/unrequited love definitely makes us more mature in the way we think and percieve relationships.
  • You have to realize and make sure that these feelings of hopelessness are temporary, and your life is far more important than any emotion.
  • Revel in your gloom and melancholy for a few weeks, it's a good learning experience, but after that, actively seek out someone else. And trust me, the moment you find somebody else to fall in love with, or even better.. someone who has already fallen in love with you, all these feelings of hopelessness will be gone without a trace, and you will find yourself already weaving new dreams and thoughts.
  • Never lose belief or confidence in yourself or your abilities and most of all, in love, because the world is full of wonderful beings worthy of loving you, and worthy of your love.

"This too shall pass", is among the truest of phrases I have known. Looking back at yourself 5 years from now, you will realize how trivial your thoughts/emotions were, even though now they mean the world to you. Unrequited love is a real pain, but also a valuable emotion that can make you more mature.


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      Meltem 3 years ago

      What a beautiful thing for you to say about me, Joanna! You've just wmared my heart on Valentine's Day! Thanks for your kind words! I always try to help people whenever, and however, I can. I've been known to bake old-fashioned banana bread for someone who is homebound or injured, too! Since I couldn't take food to Jeanne, I thought I'd speed the cyber highway and lend a post.Smiles,Michele