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- Separation & Divorce
How to get over a divorce
Getting used to being alone
it is hard to cope with being on your own after a divorce - especially so if you have just come out of a long standing union. It can represent the worst time of the whole experience. it can be particularly hard if there are young children involved and you have become the only full time carer.
It is important to realize that in the first few weeks you will be feeling very fragile. You may find it so difficult to be on your own that you start to actively crave the company of others - perhaps going out with someone on a 'rebound' relationship which may leave you open to the possibility to additional heartache..
Take the time to heal your emotional scars and to build a bit of confidence and self esteem. You should give yourself time to evaluate your life and make some positive plans for the future.
It can be hard to carry on without the lack of support from a spouse, both in a financial way and also with the more practical of tasks. The first thing that you must do is enlist the help of family and friends. If you try and take on the role of both parents, it will leave you feeling exhausted, and ultimately affect the health and well being of both yourself and your children.
Make sure that you allow yourself some time during the day to unwind. When your mum pops in to take the children round to the park, don't use the time to do extra chores, instead think about a little pampering for yourself. Take a nap, read the next chapter of your book, or listen to the radio or watch some TV. It will give you the chance to recharge your batteries before the next domestic onslaught
When you start dating again you may find it hard to meet new people. If this is the case then arrange to go out with friends and family. If you do meet someone that you like a lot, then explain to him that you have just come through a divorce and may need some time to adjust to things. Take things slowly. If you meet that special someone he should be more than willing to wait until you are ready for a full time relationship.
You will amaze yourself with how quickly you recover from your divorce. The most important thing is to be realistic about your new life. Some things may not work out and that is to be expected. After all, in many situations you may be experiencing a new learning curve, so cut yourself a little slack and accept the things that you can't really do much about and concentrate on the things that you can. Pretty soon you will be as comfortable with your new life as you was with your old, and in a lot of cases even happier than you were before!
You will survive!
Ultimately a lot of women get over their divorce quickly because they have children to think about. It cannot be underestimated the emotional effect that divorce has on the children in a relationship. They are often left feeling extremely sad, confused, and crave the presence of the absent parent on a constant basis.
Your children will manage better if they can see you coping well. You can show them that even after unbelievable heartbreak it is possible to be happy again. By concentrating on looking after the emotional needs of your children in the immediate aftermath of divorce, you will allow them to be better adjusted, more secure, and probably able to more readily accept a new partner for you in the future.