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How to maintain an evergreen married life?

Updated on November 21, 2012
Some of the essential elements of true love include understanding, sharing and caring with each other.
Some of the essential elements of true love include understanding, sharing and caring with each other. | Source

You may not say the three magical words of I love you to each other very often but then if you have enough faith or trust on each other it is fine. Mutual faith and trust on each other would help in maintaining the bond of your relationship evergreen forever. I have come across many relationships that after the initial phase of love for a couple of years settles for separation. If one takes a close look one would find that out of the cases that are filed for legal separation almost 75 percent of those are the cases of love marriages.

Why most of the cases of separation is that of love marriage?

  • After a close look and scrutiny, I have come to the conclusion that in love marriage couples have a lot of expectations from each other. As a result they find it difficult to manage their feelings and various other social issues that relate their relationship very closely. Very often young couples before their marriage gets lost in weaving sweet dreams of their love. They hardly realize things could change dramatically after their marriage when they would face their real life.
  • According to one of my friends, who is a psychiatrist by profession, says people before their marriage builds such an image of themselves that do not have any relation with reality. But once they face reality in their real life there occurs a big rift in their relationship.

How to keep your married life evergreen and successful?

Well, after knowing some of the reasons behind breaking up of good relationships, I hope it would be easier for you to understand how to maintain an evergreen married life with your partner. Here is a lay down of some of the important things which one should consider to relish a happy and successful married life:

Know the elements of true love

  • Some of the essential elements of true love include understanding each other well, caring and sharing with each other and managing the ups and downs of life together. But this happens very rarely in the true scenario since I have noticed many relationships where the partners become too selfish without being aware of the same.
  • A successful relationship is one where there is a freedom between the partners to live a life of his/her own. True love is free from the clutches of slavery and selfishness. Couples need to maintain a balance in their relationship so that their love grows deeper with time. The moment one partner thinks that he/she has the ownership over the other the relationship becomes a huge burden to move along. Those people who have the illusion of a partner of their choice in their mind before their marriage find it very difficult to adjust with the real life partner. When they compare the real partner with the dream partner they find that both are different and thus they think that their real partners do not love them.
  • The secret behind the success of any relationship is selfishness. One needs to have less expectations and try to think about things by stepping into the shoes of the other partner. One should also give love and respect to the freedom of another partner. The thread of the relationship of husband and wife penetrates deep when they understand their mutual feelings better. When they are ready to accept the shortcomings of each other, friends, relatives, views of each other etc. very easily things become much easier and life moves on smoothly. With a little bit of adjustment and caring they can make their relationship much stronger. This is the definition of modern love in any relationship.

Do not get ambitious

Sometimes husbands want their wives to be too loyal to them and thus become very possessive by nature. This very thought cause situations full of tensions. Men should understand that in real life it is impossible. Loyalty comes from understanding and one would gain understanding through patience and time. Men should give their partner sufficient time so that they understand so that they understand how important or close their relationships are. With time both the partners would love to live with each others shortcomings.

Forget about the past

  • No matter how bad your past were, it does not make any sense to argue about those in the present. It would only make things worst for you and your partner. A wife should try to find her happiness in the daily chores of life to make her family members happy. In love and healthy relationships thoughts about the present matters more than the thoughts about the past and the future. After two to three years of marriage due to career and household responsibilities men and women get frustrated very easily. Things like courtships, dating, chatting on mobiles become things of the past. Thoughts and cravings of all these things may have the negative influence on your relationship. Hence, preserve your past as a sweet memory because these would help to soothe your heart and memory in the future.
  • The sign of any good relationship is that the partners understand the feelings and the mind of other partners easily. But in today's world misunderstanding is common and therefore one need to clear those by speaking out openly with each other.

Understand the balance of relationship

It hardly matters if one is a lover, husband or a wife. What matters most is one need to understand the status of the other partner and respect him/her accordingly. It is true that husbands and wives share equal status and they are like the two wheels of a bike. Those who understand this simple philosophy about relationships they roll along with success in life. True love indeed lasts long.

Do not be too judgmental

Avoid being too much judgmental about what is right and what is wrong, what should have been done and who should have done. If one partner gets too much occupied with these things then it would spoil the charm of their relationship. One should not forget that life is also filled with errors and mistakes and one cannot be perfect with it every time. Perfection comes only with experience. So let us forget about the mistakes of each other and keep enough patience. Time is a great healer! With time and a little bit of understanding and adjustments we could surely lead a prosperous and a blissful married life.

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Why most of the cases of separation is that of love marriage?

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      Robert E Smith 4 years ago from Rochester, New York

      The way marriage was designed, it was meant to be a 100%-100% situation. What I mean by that is each partner is to give their all for the other. It does not lessen either one as a person, rather it creates a feeling of completeness. It is my job to see that all my wife's dreams and ambitions come true and it is hers to see mine come to fruition. We both are under the guidance of the Lord so both of our goals will be made to dovetail each other in inter-dependency. We are viewed by God as being "one flesh," one single unit of family. Problems start, as you said, when people begin to selfishly move in their own direction or pull someone along with them without regard to what the other person needs, saddling them with their expectations. My duty as a husband is to look out for, to protect, to nurture my wife. To supply what she needs as God gives me ability to do it. Her duty is the same. As soon as I look to myself and move as my needs dictate without regard for her is when our relationship begins to strain. Good article. Bob.

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      Ajay Kumar Singh 5 years ago from India

      Thanks webdesignerfaith for your kind and inspiring words and I am glad that you liked it!

    • webdesignerfaith profile image

      Faith T. 5 years ago

      Nice article ! Will keep it in mind when I get married one day.