How to Make Friends

The best way to make friends is to get out and meet people. The key to finding people and making friends is to become involved in organizations and activities that interest you. Since friendships are usually based on common interests, the logical places to find people who share similar interests would be organizations and activities devoted to areas that interest you. Here are some examples:

- Do you enjoy reading? If you do then join a book club at your local library, university or other sponsoring organization. Here you will meet regularly with other people who enjoy reading to discuss books.

- Do you like baseball? If you do, find a team to join and play baseball during the baseball season. If, on the other hand, you just enjoy going to games, check with the local pro or college team and inquire about joining one of their booster clubs. Or volunteer with Little League which will bring you into contact with others who both enjoy baseball and helping children to play baseball.

- Do you like hiking? Swimming? Playing bagpipes? Stargazing? Square Dancing? Country Music? Whatever your interest you can probably find a club or organization for that interest.

Sports and hobbies are not the only activities where you can find organizations and organized activities that will bring you into contact with other like minded people. Here are some other ideas for organizations based upon other traits you might share with other people:

- Are you religious or a person who attends church? If so, instead of simply attending weekly services, become involved with your local church cpmgregatopm rather than simply being a spectator i during worship services. Churches rely heavily on volunteers to perform operations needed to keep the church going. You can volunteer to sing in the choir, be an usher, be one of the lay people who assist with the readings during the service, volunteer for the board or one of the committees such as finance, fund raising, religious education for children and adults. In addition to volunteer work, most churches have educational and social activities such as singles clubs, Bible study groups, and other social type groups. The point is whether you volunteer, join social activities or both you will be mixing with people who share your religious faith and church membership which is a start. Once you start getting to know them you will probably find other things that you have in common as well.

- Are you from a specific ethnic group? Are you a graduate of a large college? If so, check to see if your college has an alumni chapter in your area. Check to see if there is an Italian-American, Irish-American, Polish-American, etc. group in your community and join.

- Do you have children? If yes, then look into becoming involved with their school and with organizations you children are active in such as Boy Scouts, AYSO, Little League, etc. This will give you time with your children as well as bring you into contact with other adults who also have children.

Ah, you say, this is fine and good, but my real problem is that I am shy or I lack self confidence.

Well, guess what? Everyone, at one time or another and, more often than not, feels out of place, embarrassed around others, feels inadequate, is uncomfortable in new situations, etc.

The best way to overcome this is to get out and practice meeting and talking with people. You will not only find that most will welcome the overture of friendship but will also begin to notice that most people also have their flaws and fears. In other words, they are very much like you and the surface confidence they project is, to a large extent an exterior veneer hiding what they fear are their own self perceived inadequacies.

You can start small by smiling or waving to a neighbor when you step outside, smiling and saying thank you to a store clerk who helps you with a purchase, smiling and saying hello to persons who you pass regularly on your morning walk, people who you pass regularly in the parking lot when going into our out of work each day. While these gestures may or may not lead to a friendship they will help you to become comfortable with making momentary contact with strangers and help give you the confidence to take the next step of joining a club, organization or other gathering where you can meet people and develop bonds of friendship.

Many people have low self confidence which causes them to feel that they are not good enough and as a result feel that they are not good enough for people to like them.

As a confidence booster try reading The Power of Positive Thinking by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale or Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Both of these books are common sense advice books but they are powerful enough to have remained highly popular for over a half a century.

So, put your fears aside and start living!