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'I love my best friend': Dating your best friend decoded

Updated on May 17, 2013

I am in love with my best friend, should I ask him out? I have a crush on my best friend, should I tell her that I like her? What the pros and cons of dating your best friend? Is dating your best friend a good idea? Find answers to all your questions by knowing the advantages and disadvantages of starting a romantic relationship with your best friend. Make a thoughtful decision because whatever the outcome, you will lose a best friend and your friendship will never be the same.


Advantages of dating your best friend

1) It is not infatuation or a shallow attraction

One of the reasons why it is a good thing when you fall in love with your best friend is that the feeling is not jut infatuation or a shallow attraction. Your love for your best friend is not something that has happened overnight. It is a deep emotional feeling that has been a result of spending many months or years together with him or her.


This is a reassuring reason why it is not a bad idea to be in a relationship with your best friend. At least you are not going off a baseless urge of attraction.


2) Best friends know each other's past and relationship history

Another reassuring aspect of the thought of dating your best friend is that you will know his or her past. This is a good thing because you will know about his or her relationship history. You won't have to worry about dealing with anything related to her ex-boyfriend or his friendship with an ex.


Knowing your best friend's relationship history will also help you judge his or her relationship quotient. You will have a fair idea of how your best friend deals with emotional and physical aspects of a romantic relationship.


Dating your best friend will be very comforting. You won't have to pretend or put up a fake facade. You can be exactly who you are without feeling awkward about it.
Dating your best friend will be very comforting. You won't have to pretend or put up a fake facade. You can be exactly who you are without feeling awkward about it.

3) Compatibility already exists

It is hard for two people to become best friends unless a fundamental level of compatibility exists between them. Compatibility can be in the form of being in acceptance of each other's behavior, mood swings, choices and overall personality.


The first month is crucial for any new relationship because the guy and girl try to accommodate each other's presence in their lives. But this setting-in period will not exist if you go out with your best friend. You can be yourself without worrying about what your girlfriend or boyfriend will feel.


4) Trust already exists between best friends

Lack of trust is one of the biggest deal breakers in most relationships. Lucky for you, if you decide to ask your best friend out and he or she says yes, the trust factor is already there.


You can't be best friends without trusting each other and this makes lack of trust a non-existent feeling at least in the earlier stages of the relationship.


5) There will be a sense of comfort in your romantic relationship with your best friend

It will be life as usual if you ask your best friend out and you both start seeing each other romantically. There won't be any sense of awkwardness between both of you. There will be a sense of comfort and the relationship will not have rocky edges, at least in the beginning. It will feel like a warm ball of fur.


You won't need to be conscious of your behavior in front of your best friend nor will you be aware of stuff that might irk him or her. Everything in your daily routine as a couple will be taken at face value, which is a priceless thing to have.


6) Best friends know each others' likes, dislikes and interests

The best thing about dating your best friend is that you already know his or her likes, dislikes and interests. You will know exactly what to do to make him or her happy and you will also know exactly what not to do so that you don't wipe the smile of his or her face.


Knowing each others' likes, dislikes and interests will make the romantic aspect of the relationship smooth for you. It will be easy to decide where to go out on a date, it will be easy to pick gifts for each other and it will also become easy to know what to say to make each other feel nice.


Disadvantages of dating your best friend

1) Relationship with your best friend can get boring quickly

There is a reason why the first few months of any relationship are generally considered to be the best phase. Romance is at its high, emotions are tender and there is a burning rage of passion. Many aspects of this initial stage of discovery will be absent if you decide to date your best friend.


There will be nothing new to discover in your romantic relationship because you are used to hanging out with him or her. There is nothing new to find out really, except the physical intimacy. That excitement too will fizzle out quickly once you get intimate with him or her on a romantic level.


All these things point to the risk that dating a best friend can get boring easily. You will have to try hard to keep the excitement and romance kicking between both of you.


2) You will lose a best friend

You will never share the same friendship with your best friend if you start dating him or her. Many couples claim that they are still the best of friends even while dating each other but the truth is that nothing can ever mimic the platonic friendship that existed earlier.


Regardless of whether your relationship survives in the long term or not, you must be prepared to lose a best friend for life. Things will never be the same between both of you again.


Physical intimacy may feel weird when you start dating your first friend. You could find your first kiss amusing or you may get a strange sense while trying to impress your ex-best friend with your romantic moves in the bed.
Physical intimacy may feel weird when you start dating your first friend. You could find your first kiss amusing or you may get a strange sense while trying to impress your ex-best friend with your romantic moves in the bed.

3) Physical intimacy may be awkward

As best friends you both may have shared tender hugs and cute kisses on the cheeks. You may also be very confident about your levels of overall familiarity with your best friend. But all of this can turn awkward when you get physically intimate with him or her for the first time.


You may feel amused when you kiss your best friend for the first time as girlfriend and boyfriend. This happened to Ross and Rachel in the hit TV series Friends. Both had been friends for a long time but it was difficult for Rachel to stop giggling when she kissed Ross for the first time because she had known him since high school.


You can even feel awkward when you get naked in front of your best friend for the first time because impressing each other in this way may never have crossed either one of your minds.


4) Knowing each others' past: There are no secrets between best friends

Best friends tell each other everything. This is a good thing but there is a disadvantage to this too. Sometimes it is best if you did not know certain sides to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's personality.


For example, your best friend may have told you every detail of his sexual relationship with his ex-girlfriend including the things that drove him crazy. Now that he is your boyfriend, how comfortable will you be knowing all the things that they did together? This aspect about knowing too much can hurt you on an emotional level and make your worry about the things your best friend did in the past.

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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 

      5 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Interesting outlook here on loving your best friend thanks for sharing this hub, such relationships may not work well for everyone.

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