ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Is Love alone sufficient to run a married life?

Updated on February 12, 2009

All You Need Is Love....Yuh, RIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!

I used to have this romantic vision of life that married life would be so easy, because I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the person I would marry would love me and I would love her. This bond would be all we needed to have a long and happy life. Yuh. RIIIIIIIIght! After six years of marriage I have a revised hypothesis. I now believe that love is a necessary prerequisite for a happy marriage, but if all we've got is love, the marriage is doomed to fail. Love is, first and foremost, an emotion. It is no greater or lesser a power than any of the other emotions. In fact, I've found that once you fall in love with another person, it only intensifies the more negatively associated emotions. When I get angry with my wife, for example, the pain I feel is proportionately larger than if I were not in love with this woman.

My mother used to tell me that the key to a happy marriage is to never go to sleep angry. Marriages can disintegrate rather rapidly when a couple starts keeping score. But if you can decide, at the end of the day, that whatever happened that day is done and to move forward in a positive light, you've got a fighting chance (no pun intended).

Early in my relationship with my wife, when I was still very much in the thralls of love, I found out the hard way that my wife has zero skills when it comes to managing money. It created a fiscal crisis in our marriage that very nearly ended it practically as soon as it began. If I hadn't loved my wife, it would have been over, but just having that love did not presume that we would have a happy marriage.

A marriage is a microcosm of life. Life is not a simple thing, and neither is a marriage. In time, children added many variables to the equation, so that it no longer mattered so much whether we felt we were good for each other, but we also had to consider the impact our decisions would have on the children. How would our daughter, who is definitely a daddy's girl, react if mom and dad were not living together? How would our one year old boy grow up if he didn't have a good male role model around. On the other hand, what kind of emotional damage may be done to him if he had to leave his mother's side (he's definitely a momma's boy.) Then there's the subject of our oldest child. Biologically, he's not mine, but in every other way he is my son. When there is turmoil in the family, he's the first one to be affected, and sometimes the effect of that can be something akin to an 8.0 earthquake.

There are, of course, other variables to consider, and I'm sure I could go on and on. But I've got a one year-old who needs a bottle to take his nap.

RETURN TO TABLE OF CONTENTS

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      belfast maine 

      9 years ago

      Great Hub you have here :) Please check out my Belfast Maine website would love to network!

    • tinyteddy profile image

      tinyteddy 

      10 years ago from INDIA

      nice hub thx for answering

    • LisaG profile image

      Lisakg 

      10 years ago from Caribbean

      Marriage also need respect, communication and most importantly compromise!

      Here's a link to my hub "how to have a happy marriage.

      https://hubpages.com/relationships/How-to-Have-a-H...

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)