Key Elements of a Successful Relationship (Part 4)
Introduction
Relationships are what define us as humans. It is the glue that holds us together as a society. There are different types of relationships. We share relationships with our parents, children, life partners, friends, siblings, and colleagues.
Let's look at some more key elements of successful relationships.
Don't be dependent for happiness
Common Mistake
Placing someone responsible for your happiness is the biggest mistake you can make in a relationship. It gives them the power to manipulate you. Even if you are happy with that, it is not healthy behavior. It also puts a lot of pressure on the other person.
Consequences
A child is dependent on his/her parents for sustenance. Similarly, you will become dependent on the other person for emotional validation. Even if you don't want to stay with them, you will need to. Your mind and body will recognize that person as the only means of satisfying your emotional needs. Such a relationship will eventually become toxic for both the people involved.
Solution
Pursue activities outside the relationship that will make you feel fulfilled and happy. If you are not happy spending time with yourself, you can't expect others to be happy with you. Only if you are comfortable alone, you can have successful relationships.
“Take responsibility of your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands.”
— Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the HeartPurpose over temporary feelings
Relationships are mainly formed based on emotions. Only if a person makes you feel good about yourself, you will want to be in a relationship with them. But feelings alone are not enough. There should be some reasoning as well.
Feelings are not permanent
The way you feel about a person can change quickly. Sometimes, a minute or even a second can completely change the way you look at a person. A relationship usually begins with the feelings of joy and excitement. Over time, it molds into comfort and trust. Occasionally, there is anger and dissatisfaction involved as well. But reasoning and logic hold good for longer periods of time.
Solution
A relationship should not only be based on emotions. There should be a sense of purpose as well. This purpose helps you stay together regardless of varying emotions and feelings.
Have clear expectations
One must be clear of what he/she expects from a relationship. This helps in determining how important this relationship is to the person. It is also essential that both the people involved must have a similar level of expectations.
Example
A man and a woman get into a romantic relationship. Both of them have various other priorities too. For the man, This relationship ranks 5th in his list of priorities. But for the woman, it ranks 3rd among her priorities. Now this creates varying levels of expectation. So, the man would have to put in extra effort or the woman will have to compromise. And if this isn't communicated clearly, it can lead to a lot of problems.
Solution
Have a clear idea of your expectations and priorities. Make sure you communicate them to your partner as well.
Learn to let go
Letting go of the past
The people in your past are not the same people who will be there in your future. So never carry emotions from an old relationship into a new one. For example, let's say your childhood friend has betrayed you in some way. So, you don't trust that person anymore. That is completely acceptable. But, you should make sure that this distrust does not flow into all your new friendships as well.
Letting go of the present
A person might mean the world to you. But sometimes, it won't be possible to have a close relationship with them in the future. This might be a partner, sibling, parent, child, or even a friend. In this world, nothing is permanent. This includes your relationships. You might get separated due to unforeseen circumstances. In these cases, it is important to learn to let go. Trying to pursue a relationship that is practically not possible is an emotionally tiring task. This also affects all the other relationships in your life. Remember that the ones that are meant to stay in your life, will always stay.
Conclusion
I have come to the conclusion of my four part article on the key elements of successful relationships. Understand these concepts well and apply them to your lives. Never be afraid to let go of old relationships and form new ones. Everyone comes into your life for a reason. Remember to respect and cherish the time you spend together. Thank you for reading !
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