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Key Elements of a Successful Relationship (Part 3)

Updated on June 24, 2020

Introduction

Relationships are what define us as humans. It is the glue that holds us together as a society. There are different types of relationships. We share relationships with our parents, children, life partners, friends, siblings, and colleagues

In my previous article, I spoke about five elements. They are - paying attention, the gift of time, efforts, problem solving and the value of a relationship. In this article, I will be covering four more important elements. I hope you find this useful.

Agree to disagree

Problem

People often believe that they need to have similar opinions with the people they love. But due to the exposure in today's world, that is close to impossible. Every individual has his/her own ideas of politics, lifestyle choices, society etc. People also define factors like happiness and success differently. The problem is that people are not willing to understand or respect each other's opinion.

Solution

You might have a really good bond with a person. But that doesn't give you the right to impose your views on them. You can have healthy discussions and debates. But it is important to find a way to coexist with people who have opposing views. This will help in widening your perspective. Having close relationships only with people who share your opinions, gives you a very narrow view of the world. Hence, your ability to agree to disagree will greatly improve your relationships. It will also make you a much better individual.

Source

Ask, don't assume

Problem

A major mistake people make in relationships is assuming what the other person thinks. They also assume that the other person knows what they are thinking. Nobody has the ability to read your mind. So it is your responsibility to communicate what you want. Not being open about something and expecting the other person to automatically understand is highly impractical.

Consequences

Due to this, both the people are not on the same page in various matters. Eventually, you develop a completely distorted image of the person based on your assumptions. This type of image can be good or bad. But it surely can't be true. Things go south when you realise that your assumptions are wrong. So you blame the person for having changed. But in reality, it is your fault for not putting in the efforts to gain clarity on things.

Solution

Hence, it is important to clearly communicate everything to the other person. Ask instead of assuming and you will avoid so many misunderstandings.

Don't be possessive

Problem

Possessiveness in a relationship is the deep need to hold on to a person for himself or herself only. It is born out of insecurity. It can also be due to a lack of trust. It gives rise to jealousy and hate. It can also potentially destroy a relationship. It is a trait mainly observed between romantic partners. However, it can be observed across all the other kinds of relationships as well.

Solution

It is acceptable to desire a close relationship with someone. But what is not acceptable, is expecting the person to have a close relationship only with you. The person will naturally meet a lot of new people and form new relationships. It is important to learn to accept this. Make sure that you wholeheartedly give 100% in your relationship. The rest doesn't matter.

Source

Life outside the relationship

Problem

It is important to recognise that a relationship is a very small part of one's life. There are so many elements of one's life that are outside the relationship. Career, ambitions, hobbies, and dreams are some of the popular ones. The person also has an identity outside the relationship. For example, the only identity a person has is not that he's X's son or that she's Y's wife. But people try to force others to conform to the identity their relationship gives them

Example

This is very commonly seen among parents and children. Parents often tend to force their dreams and ambitions on their children. They expect their son / daughter to behave in a certain way. They believe that their reputation is tied to that. But this is a very selfish expectation. They are worried more about their image in society. Such thinking is seriously harmful to the relationship.

Solution

People are identified by various other things that they pursue in life. Hence, It is important to respect the life and identity one has outside your relationship.

Conclusion

The above mentioned aspects are not popular. So, they often go unnoticed. But they are essential for the success of your relationships. Understand them well and apply them in your life. You will definitely notice a significant improvement in your relationships.

Comments

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    • Avyukth profile imageAUTHOR

      Avyukth Krishna 

      2 months ago from Bangalore

      Hi Vikram sir,

      In today's world, social media has connected us so well that we have so many relationships. So naturally it is impossible to be close only to selected people. I am glad you liked that part !

    • Avyukth profile imageAUTHOR

      Avyukth Krishna 

      2 months ago from Bangalore

      Hi Suchi,

      My journey to understand these aspects of life at a young age started when I realised that some of the strongest relationships are the ones that are formed in our earlier years. So we can't wait till the later stages of life to learn these.

      Thank you so much for your response !!

    • talesofvikram profile image

      Vikram Brahma 

      2 months ago from Assam, India

      Very good article my friend. You have really written article very well. I really like the sentence where you are talking about - what is not acceptable, is expecting the person to have a close relationship only with you. This is a very true and wonderful insight. Many teenage don't understand this part well. Keep on writing.

    • Suchismita pradhan profile image

      Suchismita Pradhan 

      2 months ago from India

      A well executed article ,relationships are knitted with lot many factors, you have jotted down precisely.At this age your understanding about relationships is really appreciable.keep writing and enlightening your readers.

    • Avyukth profile imageAUTHOR

      Avyukth Krishna 

      3 months ago from Bangalore

      Hello Murali sir,

      I agree with you on the fact that family and friends act as a support system for one. It's important to choose and maintain this support system wisely to ensure well-being. Thank you so much !

    • hmkrishna profile image

      Halemane Muralikrishna 

      3 months ago from South India

      It was a very nicely written article on the relationship, Mr Avyukth Krishna. It is the peers who come from different backgrounds. Due to this confidence and support, one gets self-motivated by peers it will be possible to achieve the impossible tasks easily. Therefore it is very important to maintain relationships strong and growing. Very well explained, thank you.

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