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Kissing On The First Date

Updated on January 26, 2011

First dates can be pretty stressful, particularly if it's a blind date, or some other type of first meeting (e.g., a date with someone you met online). Some dating experts say you ought to hold off on kissing someone under these circumstances -- how much pressure does one really need, anyway? Then again, another school of thought insists that kissing on the first date is essential, as it quickly tells you a great deal about this person's bedroom style. And before you get righteous, don't; you're not looking for a new platonic friend, or you wouldn't be on a date. So anyway, let's take a look at some of the pros and cons of kissing on the first date. Depending on your situation, it may or may not be a good idea.

Pros of Kissing on the First Date

  • Kissing on the first date can give you a very good idea as to how your potential partner is going to conduct him or herself in bed. Are they fast? Rushed? Slow? Sensual? Do they seem a bit lost and confused? Do they make a mess? These things can easily carry over into bedroom. For some, knowing this upfront can save a great deal of time that might otherwise be wasted on someone you're not compatible with.

  • Kissing on the first date can tell a woman precisely how self-absorbed and selfish a man is. Does he stop when you tell him to stop? Does he try to guilt you into taking things futher than the line you've already drawn? If this is in his character on date one, it'll still be there in year ten, so this can help you weed out the losers.

  • Kissing on a first date can tell a man precisely how loose a woman is. Are you having to fend her off before you even leave Denny's? If so, this may good to know on day one. Sure, some of you will love it if she is -- just don't fall for that, "I don't normally do this" line, mmmkay?

  • Kissing well can leave a man or woman with something to think about between the end of date 1 and the start of date 2. This can add an excitement that often plays out in your favor. Use it to your advantage and have them panting for you as they wait for the next date.

Cons of Kissing On the First Date

  • Kissing on the first date can lead to full on nookie -- which is usually a bad idea if you're looking for something meaningful to evolve out of it. If you're on the doorstep and y'all want to exchange a small peck or closed-mouthed kiss, this is relatively safe. Have that kiss inside after a nightcap and you may regret it in the morning.

  • Kissing on the first date can go horribly wrong, even if you're skilled at kissing. At least one of you is likely to be nervous at the start of the evening. Eventually you relax and things are great. Until it's time to get out of the car, or be walked to the door, etc -- then the nerves swing back into action as you try to figure out if a kiss is appropriate. If you're cool and collected, this may not be an issue. If you're anything less than totally confident, however, it may show in your kiss -- and many people find bad kissing a reason to avoid a second date.

  • Erm, hello, do you know where this person's mouth has been? Do you know what infections they might presently have? You can get STDs in and on your mouth, you know. Herpes isn't a pretty sight, no matter where it is.


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