Loneliness vs Solitary Creature
Knowing the Difference
How will you know if you are lonely or if you just like being alone? For some people, the answer is easy, they just know what they want. For others, and probably for many, judging by how many dating websites there are nowadays, they're lonely. They want to spend time with someone who is not just a friend they can talk and laugh with, but someone with whom they can vacation and be romantically involved as well.
You can usually know when you're feeling lonely. You might be desperate for attention from anyone, even from those who are not good for you. You might cry yourself to sleep on nights when you want to cuddle up with someone. You might watch every romantic comedy in your arsenal on Valentine's Day, including the movie with the same title, with a bottle of wine, a tub of ice cream, and a can of whipped cream. You may go to the gym in full makeup and a tight little outfit and just do stretches in order to get whistles and catcalls.
Or perhaps you're not the type to crave attention from every living person, but you want attention from one particular person. You try your best to get that person's attention, and when you finally get it, that person agrees to go out with you, just to test the waters of being with you. Maybe you guys are friends or classmates.
If you like to be alone, you like having a nice quiet place, either with or without anyone there, you don't feel like a part of you is missing when you go out with friends and you're the only one without a date/partner and you're perfectly fine with that, you might just be a solitary person. You're perfectly fine with other people constantly making plans and figuring out times to see their significant others while you're happy as a clam sitting at home or just doing what ever you want because you don't have to schedule a time to meet anybody and hang out with them for hours on end.
If you're anything like me, you like to read and write, and if you're being lazy, just watch tv and let your mind go. Just like this short list, these are solitary activities. You supposedly could read and write with someone, but if you're being creative or constructing a paper for school, you'll probably want some quiet and uninterrupted time, and just an alottment of solitude where you're not being asked to go shopping or "What do you think of this?" or "Can you believe my friend said that?"
That "Aha!" Moment
Some people just know when they're no longer lonely and just like to be alone. For some people, that may never happen. But for those lucky few, boy is it a relief. You feel like this great weight has been lifted off your shoulders that you've been lugging around for as long as you can remember and things that you thought were important no longer are. If you're still in your 20's, your parents still might be pressuring you to find someone so they can enjoy some grandkids, but you yourself feel so much better as an individual. You feel like you don't have to wait on anyone to make you happy; you just do whatever you want to do whenever you want and with whomever you want (keep it classy, though).
When, and the unfortunate ones who may never know this feeling of if, this moment comes, it's definitely a moment of maturation that becomes you and you hold yourself a little higher and you don't let yourself sink back into your old needy immature ways. You know you're better than that and deserve whatever makes you happy.
Do you think you yourself are a solitary creature or maybe lonely?
Are more people lonely or prefer the live alone?
© 2020 Tawny