ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

What He Says And What He Means: Understanding Your Man

Updated on March 28, 2017

Sugar Coated Tongue

I guess by now us girls know men come from a far off place with a very obvious diversion to the English language. I personally call this lying, however I have heard several abbreviations. Among a few favorites are; barefaced liar and sugar coated tongue. The thing is, a lot of the time these misdemeanors are blamed on us girls. Do our aliens (men) lie to save face? Are our feelings constantly been spared? What do you think?

He says: He means

We all like to know the opinions of the men in our lives; especially when it comes to what we wear. Very important if we are going out to dinner with him! However, even more important if we are going out to dinner with our girl friends. The hair, the dress and the shoes.

Our night begins with a twirl on the living room floor in our favorite eye candy dress. When we ask our man:

''Do I look good in this dress?'' Is his answer really an honest one? Perhaps the conversation would go something like this...

He says: he means

Anything sound familiar?

  • Your hair looks lovely darling, he says... he means. You and your hair styles cost a bloody fortune.
  • That sounds good, around what time? he says... he means. No bloody way, I'll have to go missing. I'm watching the football.
  • Italian. Yeah sure, he says... he means. What table? What Italian? Pizza hut is my favorite. Triple meat feast with double cheese stuffed crust, yummy.
  • You look absolutely fabulous darling, he says... he means. Like I can tell you anything different. Oh! and as for your bum it's just big darling.
  • Looking very chic, he says... he means. Your legs look good in high heels. I like legs in high heels. Long slim legs.
  • Either earrings will be fine surely, he says... he means. Earrings!. What man in the world cares a damn about earrings?
  • Your mum loves Saturday night TV, he says... he means. No bloody way, not again, not ever, not in my lifetime (last time was the millennium).
  • Yes, he says... he means. Like you can use more than one bag at a time, so why bother, complete waste of my money.
  • No, you look absolutely fabulous darling, he says and we already know what he means.
  • Oh ! just a little footy, he says (with gritted teeth)... he means. Shit I missed the bloody goal and stop talking.


You say:

Take a ponder at the following!

  • Do you think I need to cut my hair darling. I was thinking of a new colour, blonde perhaps. Well! what do you think?
  • I think we should go shopping on Saturday, it'll be good fun! We haven't gone shopping together for ages.
  • Why don't we go out to dinner, maybe the Italian, you know the one, our very special favorite one. The one with our table in the corner.
  • What do you think of this dress? (you're in a little black dress and your twirling).
  • I think I'll wear these heels. What do you think (you're still in the dress, twirling with added stiletto heals that would make any man weep).
  • Darling which looks better: silver or gold? (you're holding earrings to your ear lopes and TWIRLING).
  • I'll ask mum too, she hasn't been out for a while! You don't mind darling, do you?
  • Did I show you my new bag? I got this little beauty, it will go with everything and anything A real bargain.
  • Do you think I should go on a diet? (your still twirling a la stilettos, oh! and the dress of course). Does this dress make my bum look big?
  • Darling. What are you watching? (you've stopped twirling).

What he says! What he means!
What he says! What he means!

The Real Difference Between Men and Women

Men Are From?

Are men from Mars? I can tell you the answer. No! They come from somewhere a hell of a lot further away than that. Somewhere over the rainbow where cardboard planes fly and football games are compulsory. Pizzas are served with cold beers delivered to the door on Saturday afternoons just as the Coca-Cola cup kicks off. John Wayne and Mr Eastwood or Clint have them fighting for seats in front of the google box for the hundredth run of their favorite spaghetti western: the closest they really ever want to get to pasta.

A place where their buddies wear matching T-shirts and shout at the TV in remarkable unison all clutching a TV remote with hundreds of buttons, that (you guessed it) never click the wrong station. A trip to the shops is a drive in MacDonald's with free orders of chips and quarter pounders to everyone driving a convertible BMW. Black with leather seats, self cleans and runs on fresh air, and everyone drives one, in their heads that is... or dreams more like... or where they come from...

Sugar coating is the national language and every time you say sorry you get a free test drive in Hamiltons newest race-mobile. Week days are just another name for weekends and coach potato is a popular compliment as everyone is one. Showering and spraying links is a favorite and smelly pastime. The only one involving standing up for any length of time, although not yet officially proven (football is a love affair, so all that jumping about doesn't count). Pastimes and hobbies are the working class jobs and pay rises are easily achieved, do something you like ie watch football and get drunk with your mates receive bonus. The male species have the fine art of camouflage, so never truly see themselves for exactly what they are. Indeed, men come from a strange oblivion with even stranger expectations: wheels, buttons and balls being the most prominent.


He Says: he means

  • Manchester. He means. Hello it tells you at the top of the screen.
  • No! He means. Who bloody cares? It's not a fashion parade!
  • Hmm. He means. What? you mean like my white shirts with the pink tinge!
  • That's the ref. He means. Stop asking all the STUPID questions.
  • No, another player is coming on. He means. God I need a drink.
  • The manager. He means, AHHHH ! shut up.
  • Hmm. He means. Bloody hell, he's NOT the only one.
  • Yes. He means. I need to clasp my hands around something, quick. Like your neck.
  • YES. He means. Jesus I missed it. I can't BELIEVE it. I need a pee.
  • Yep. He means. As well? I'm going to the bloody pub next saturday no matter what she says.

She Says

  • Darling, which team are in the red shirts?
  • Those orange socks don't match at all! Awful, and I don't like that v-neck neckline.
  • I never understand why they choose white shorts! I mean it's impossible to keep whites white.
  • For heaven sake why does that guy keep stopping the game?
  • Hey look! where's that player going, is it over?
  • Who's that jumping up and down on the side line?
  • Well he looks like he's going to explode, not good for the heart.
  • Would you like a gin and tonic darling?
  • Why is everyone yelling, oh! was that a goal?
  • Oh! can you get me a bag of crisps as well (as the gin and tonic) now you're up.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)