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Marriage - a commitment meant for a lifetime

Updated on December 31, 2010

Times have changed....

In today’s society, things have definitely changed. Our roles have changed, our schedules have changed. Unfortunately, with all these changes the divorce rate also changed. It has gone up incredibly.

According to www.divorcerate.org the divorce rate in America is frequently reported at about 50%. What does this mean - that 1 out of every 2 couples will end up breaking up. This is a sad reality. Divorce in America used to be hard to obtain, but now-a-days it seems this is another fad.

The ring...

The ring is a symbol of the endless love and the eternal bond between the couple. Because the circle has no end, it is not meant to be broken.
The ring is a symbol of the endless love and the eternal bond between the couple. Because the circle has no end, it is not meant to be broken.

What's your excuse???

What is the reason behind these statistics?

Is it because woman have entered the work force; they are no longer dependent on the man in the relationship to take care of them while they stay home and maintain the house and care for the children. If you imagine back, you always think about the family where mom is home getting the kids off to school while dad leaves for work. When he returns, the kids have finished their homework and dinner is on the table. A nice home-cooked meal ready for the family to sit down and eat together.

Is it because society as a whole has become very sexual and our values have changed. Back in the 1950’s you would never have imagined the stuff that is currently broadcasted on TV. A kiss was as pornographic as it got. Our values have led us to believe that sleeping around (whether married or not) is alright. That we should test the waters out before we swim. How did this become okay? I am not saying I am against sex before marriage, but I am also not saying being promiscuous is a good thing.

Is it because it is just too easy? When times get hard, sometimes it is just too easy to run away. I have known several people who have threatened divorce on a weekly basis. Did they actually go through with the process? Maybe not, but it still shows how easy it is to walk away. Where is the commitment? Where is the stubbornness to stick it out?

Marriage... sweet marriage....

In a conversation I once had, a man told me how he went to a party for a couple who was celebrating their 65th  wedding anniversary. What a feat! To reach 65 years is absolutely beyond amazing! So, he asked the woman if during that time, has she ever once thought about divorce. Her reply, “Divorce? No! I have never once thought about divorce. Now killing him, that is a whole different story. I thought about that at least 10 times!”

This is where our values need to be (not the killing part!). We need to be stubborn. We need to fight for our marriage. These were the values programmed into older couples. Divorce was not an option. A couple was told to suffer and work it out. They didn’t take the easy way out. They stuck with it. As their vows implied, “until death do us part.”

Marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. The last I checked, that doesn’t mean 2 years. We all need to grow a spine and work a little harder toward our commitment. Marriage is like a job. It is fulfilling. It is part of life. But, if the work gets to hard at a job, we don’t just pack up and leave. After all, we are dependent on our check every week to live. Why is marriage not thought about this way? We should be depending on our spouse as a means to live. They are our lifeline, and when the time gets tough, we also should not pack up and leave!

Now I am not suggesting that divorce is not an option. It really depends on the situation. If a person is being mentally or physically abused, they definitely should not try to tough it out. Each marriage is different and has to be looked at separately. It is up to the individual and the couple.

On the other hand, the point is, marriage is a serious commitment and should not be taken lightly. When you propose or accept that proposal, you should be certain you want to spend the rest of your life with that person. You should also be aware that marriage is like life - there will be ups and downs. Things will not always be peachy. The strength of your marriage will show how you handle these situations. Cause when the going gets tough, the tough does not get going… they sit down and work things out and become stronger because of it!

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    • barbergirl28 profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacy Harris 

      8 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      @Peggy W - I am amazed every single day how much I look forward to the many more years of my marriage. Congrats on passing 42 years. It is relationships like this that are great to look toward. So many people throw in the towel way to fast!

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 

      8 years ago from Houston, Texas

      Hi Stacy,

      The killing part is generally a joke between long married people. We passed our 42nd wedding anniversary and are looking forward to more. Something so wonderful about going through the good times and bad together and still being there with and for one another. Life is not a bed of roses all the time and we should expect to encounter a few thorns along the way. Yes...times have really changed since the 1950's and while some of it is good, some is not. Up and useful votes +.

    • barbergirl28 profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacy Harris 

      9 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      @Warren Baldwin - Thanks so much for stopping by. The divorce rate is just to high out there and the reason stems from people just not being stubborn enough to work through the hard times.

    • profile image

      Warren Baldwin 

      9 years ago

      Excellent article. Very practical and touches everyone where they live.

    • Becky532 profile image

      Becky532 

      10 years ago

      Love it! I think if you want a lifelong marriage you have to work hard at picking a great partner before you get married! Marriage will always be tough if you are in it for the long haul, but you should start off strong. I am also stubborn, glad it will be a positive for me at some point :)

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      10 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Totally agree with you - unless there is violence or drugs involved and the heartbreak when you can't help someone else no matter how hard you try.

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 

      10 years ago from Savannah GA.

      Stay married no matter what it is important and it can be done!

    • barbergirl28 profile imageAUTHOR

      Stacy Harris 

      10 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      I absolutely agree.... marriage is hard work. My husband and I have been on the verge of divorce at least 3 times, yet, we powered through and survived. This year will be our 11 year anniversary. Walking away would have been easier, but both of us are too darn stubborn! LOL

    • Highvoltagewriter profile image

      William Benner 

      10 years ago from Savannah GA.

      This is great stuff, thanks for writing fo it is so true! Our values have changed so much in the last 30 years or so.

    • profile image

      marnie40 

      10 years ago

      Awesome article. You have made a number of valid points. Marriage is sacred and should be treated as such. If we would only put all our effort into making our marriages really good instead of looking for a way out. What an example that would be to our children--it could start a revolution of marriages that last!

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