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Marriage the Way God Intended

Updated on June 8, 2015

Marriage: The Way God Intended

Christians view marriage as an institution ordained by God for the lifelong relationship between one man and one woman.

"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4).

Throughout the Bible marriage is honored among Christians. However, it's not seen as a necessity for everyone. Those who choose to remain unmarried are not viewed as incomplete in Christ. For that matter, there is no indication Jesus was ever married.

In most circles divorce is less than the ideal situation, but in our modern world concepts about roles and responsibilities of a husband and wife vary considerably. Some blame the feminine liberation shift towards equality between a man and woman, which many view as not being biblical. There is a small, but growing number of Christian denominations conducting same-sex marriage.

God laid out His plan for marriage as a lifelong union. When we stray from that plan the results can be disastrous. Unfortunately, Christian divorces are comparable to that of the rest of society. Ironically, many Christians see nothing particularly wrong with divorce. However, the Bible clearly lays out God's plan for marriage and divorce.

God made the first man, Adam, but declared it wasn't good for him to be alone. God then created Eve, blessing their union and giving them dominion over the earth.

"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth" (Genesis 1:27-28).

With the creation of marriage God emphasized three principles:

  1. Marriage is sacred.

  2. God hates divorce.

  3. Marriage is designed to bear children of godly character.

Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts” (Malachi 2:14-16).

Jesus knew the importance of lifelong marriage and taught about it.

It's important we encourage those in troubled marriages to seek counseling. According to therapists most divorces are not necessary. If a situation arises when we do consider it, shouldn't we first consult the architect who first designed the institution? Many Christians are in disagreement about whether the Bible allows divorce, or remarriage for that matter. What does the Bible say about it? Biblical grounds may exist: When a spouse is guilty of sexual immorality and refuses to repent.

However, this doesn't mean divorce is required, it is only allowed. Many have taken the shattered pieces of their marriage and have put them back together.

What is a Christian Marriage?

In America, fewer people are choosing to marry with less than half of couples choosing not to. Meanwhile, the percentage of those living together outside of marriage is increasing. Additionally, children born to single mothers is also mounting. These statistics raise important questions about the value and meaning of marriage in American culture. Can Christian faith make a difference? Obviously, simply professing to be a Christian doesn’t guarantee a successful marriage.

Since the beginning, Christian writers have commented on the marriage relationship. The apostle Paul taught husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He compares the relationship between husband and wife to that of Jesus and the church. But what about a marriage in which only one is Christian? Could that be considered a Christian marriage?

Christian or not, marriage is difficult to sustain under any circumstances, but it does offer hope. It should not be surprising God declares, in Malachi 2:16, "I hate divorce!"

Most Christian leaders will discourage divorce even in difficult situation. Some Christians believe the only exception for divorce is death. Clearly, this is a, prickly issue. But most would agree those seeking a divorce today do so for less than spiritual reasons. The reasons range from poor communication and financial problems, to lack of commitment.

When a marriage isn't working, many take the easy way out. In short, many who consider divorce have not done everything they can.

What Causes Troubled Marriages?

  • Not working through problems.

  • Not accepting responsibility.

  • Not acknowledging each other's feelings.

  • Not displaying affection.

  • Impatience.

  • Infidelity.

  • Opposing religious beliefs.

  • Moral principles.

There are many reasons. God's design is for the husband to be responsible for providing for his family and be respectful of his wife. He fulfills her need to feel secure through love, acceptance, and sensitivity.

Husbands and wives must never lose their commitment to each other. It empowers them to keep an unbreakable covenant with their marriage partner regardless of unexpected circumstances. They must mutually decide divorce isn't an option. The key to a successful marriage is commitment.

First, we need someone willing to hold us accountable to that commitment, perhaps a pastor or counselor. We should never make decisions about marriage in a vacuum.

In the context of today's world, our response about divorce and remarriage isn't easily understood.


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    • JY3502 profile image

      John Young 2 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      OK, now I see what you were getting at. Thanks

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Whose God? Which God?

      You fail to see or understand my comment because you have chosen only to have a view of the world through (your) religious choice.

      John, The point I was making is that in the U.S. our laws are not based upon any (one religious dictates). If one were to truly live their life according to the scriptures of the bible they should do so (in every area of life) as opposed to "cherry picking" which one's they want to follow.

      Exodus 20:13 says "Thy shall not kill"

      And yet many Christians are in favor of the death penalty and going to war for numerous reasons. I was pointing out the hypocrisy of using biblical verses when it's "convenient" to support one's personal dislikes.

      I suspect if there were no biblical verses concerning same sex relationships or marriages there would still be many people who are against it. I can respect their opinion more because they're not hiding behind scriptures to defend their personal disgust.

      The other Exodus verses I mentioned were to illustrate that even bible thumping Christians don't believe people should be put to death under those circumstances. We're all guilty of "cherry picking" and hypocrisy.

      Matthew 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged (We're all guilty of that one!)

      Ecclesiastes 7:20 KJV

      "For there is not a just man upon earth, that doeth good, and sinneth not."

      (Too often that one is forgotten)

    • JY3502 profile image

      John Young 2 years ago from Florence, South Carolina

      I fail to see what your comments have to do with the biblical design God created for marriage. Am I missing something?

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Exodus 31:15

      "Anyone who works on the Sabbath must be put to death."

      Exodus 21:17

      "Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.

      Thankfully the U.S. espouses a "separation of church and state"!

      Otherwise we'd be putting to death millions of people who work over the weekends and every smart ass teenager who curses their parents under their breath.

      One of the problems with allowing religion to dictate the rule of law for a country is people tend to "cherry pick" which scriptures they'll follow.

      Another bigger issue is there are many religions. The U.S. saw fit to allow people the freedom to worship as they choose or (not at all).

      As it stands every religious group believes (their God) is the true God!

      Lastly we decided it is wrong to discriminate against anyone based upon national origin, age, race, gender, religion or sexual orientation in business transactions. This then makes "marriage equality" a civil rights issue.

      It's not illegal for someone to be gay or lesbian, It's not illegal for them cohabitate. And yet some say it's okay to keep people from getting married based upon their sexual orientation. That's discrimination in black and white.

      Some of the people who are most fervent about keeping government out of the lives of individuals are the ones asking the government to dictate which couple can get married. They act as if gay people are contagious!

      Ironically according to research only 3.8% of the people consider themselves to be part of the LGBT community. With all the hysteria over this issue you'd think it was 30-45%!

      I've heard some people say they worry that giving gays right to marry will influence children to become gay. Oddly enough every gay person is the by product of heterosexual union! Same sex couples can't procreate!

      As a heterosexual man married to a woman I couldn't care less about whomever someone else loves and marries.

      Life is a (personal) journey!

      It was not until 1967 that the Supreme Court struck down all laws against "interracial marriages". Today in most parts of the country it's a non issue. I suspect for any of us who is alive 50 years from now will wonder why "marriage equality" was such a big deal.

      Throughout our history just about every group (women and minorities) has had to fight, march, protest, and even die to have their rights validated and protected. I guess it's the LGBT community's turn.