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What Women Want Men to Know

Updated on July 19, 2013
Us girls have something to say to you guys.
Us girls have something to say to you guys. | Source

The girls have been talking and we’ve decided it’s time to tell you a few things so men – listen up.



First, we have a bit of news for you. In spite of how it seems, we do know that we are confusing. Hell, we confuse ourselves sometimes with our brains that function in overdrive and emotions that run rampant during certain times of the month. We get it. You don’t have a chance at pleasing us sometimes. So, don’t sweat it. Just do the best you can and when nothing works, keep asking us how you can help.

That’s right, you heard us. Don’t pay any attention to us when we tell you to leave us alone. What we really mean is that we need you and we want you to pretend that you understand. We want you to hold us and tell us you love us, and, that everything is going to be alright. There are going to be times when we lock ourselves in the bedroom and tell you to go away. Don’t. Find a way into that room, we know you can, and just hold us. We’re never going to ask for it so it’s up to you to just do it.

Family

Now, let’s talk about family. We’ve made it pretty clear but in case you missed it - we don’t have to like your family but please, can’t you just pretend to like ours? Trust us, we know our mothers drive you nuts and that you think our brother is a worthless piece of crap, but hey, we don’t want to hear it from you. No, it’s not fair but hey, just man up and do it. Life will be easier for all of us.

Just chill, this isn’t going to last much longer.

Responsibility

We don't ask you to do much and as much as we hate it, we have to talk about the garbage. If you want life to be more peaceful at home, take the garbage out when we ask you to, not four hours later. We never have understood why you think we would ask now, if it didn’t need to be done until later. If we wanted it done later, we would ask you to do it later. So listen up. All you have to do is listen. If we say “later”, we mean “later”. If we don’t, then we mean “now”.

Okay you men, this is really important. In case you haven’t noticed, we bring home a paycheck too. The difference is, when we leave work, we come home and start our second job. Oh yeah, we work two jobs unlike you who seem to think that coming home is a hobby. You may make more money (which isn’t fair either) but we can promise you that stopping for a drink with the boys isn’t going to make the home front a happy place. If you do it often, we can guarantee it. If you’re going to live with us, you need to come home and help us. The laundry doesn’t get done by itself and we haven’t found a vacuum cleaner yet that can do the job by itself. And that toilet, geez, it wouldn’t kill you to clean it after you use it, would it? That’s all. We just want you to know that the key to a happy home is having everyone that lives in it, taking care of it.

This is pretty harsh and we know it. We just realized that we haven’t been communicating these things in ways you can understand. So, we decided to talk to you man to man. You understand that, don’t you? No emotion, no hormones, no fluff, just get down and dirty, man to man conversation.

The perfect...

We once asked our mothers how to find a perfect man. Across the board we all heard – there is no perfect man. Our mothers told us that sometimes life would be a struggle and that if we tried to find a man just like our fathers, we might end up disappointed. But most of us still tried. Most of us want a man who can be everything, when we need it. Sometimes we need you to be a mountain man and make the tough decisions. We need you to just fix things. At other times, we need you to be a gingerbread man, sweet and soft. We want you to respect us as the strong women we are but handle us like a fragile piece of china. We want to be your friend as well as your partner in life so if you want this to work, you have to be willing to talk to us. We mean – really talk to us. Don’t just tell us what you think we can handle or what you want us to know. If you want our trust, we have to believe you tell us all those little things you share with your friends. Our mothers taught us how to be a perfect woman so we’re just trying to help you learn how to be a perfect man.

The element of surprise

Guys, has it ever crossed your mind to surprise us once in a while? You’re so darn predictable. We girls love surprises, even the small ones. And please, don’t wait until you’re in the doghouse. Do something just for the sake of doing it. Surprise us with a gift, even a little one. Even a card means a lot when it’s unexpected. Dinner out would be nice. Just don’t spring it on us. We need time to get all prissed up and sexy for you. We do not want to go to Chuckie Cheese though. Take us somewhere with atmosphere and get a table in a corner where we can really flirt and talk without an audience.

Communication

You say we talk too much. Ha! You didn’t think we knew that, did you? Well okay, if you want fewer words, we’ll sum it up for you. Just do these things and we promise, we’ll be extraordinarily good to you.

  1. When we stop talking, you start. Ask what you’ve done until you get an answer.
  2. Don’t go away when we tell you to. Push your way into the room and just hold us.
  3. Never say bad things about our family, even if we say something bad about yours.
  4. Take the garbage out when we ask.
  5. Come home to your “second job” after work.
  6. Help with the housework. Clean the darn toilet after missing.
  7. Be tough when we need it and tender when we need that too. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.
  8. Talk to us like we’re guys. We can talk cars or sports too.


What goes around, comes around.

Our mothers may be right. For those of us who had a dad who was a great man we realize that finding a man like our daddy man be impossible. We can live with that.

There may not be any perfect men but you have a lot of potential and can surely do better than you do sometimes.

We know you're not like us but we believe you are capable of being all we need you to be. Show us you’re willing and us girls – well, you might find out that you found a perfect woman. Wouldn’t that be fun?


© 2012 Linda Crist, All rights reserved.

Read more of my hubs here.

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  • davenmidtown profile image

    David Stillwell 4 years ago from Sacramento, California

    There are about 3000 genes on the X chromosome and only about 300 genes on the Y chromosome... need I say more?

  • billybuc profile image

    Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

    Love it! I may lose my membership in the Manly Club, but you are pretty darn close to the truth here, and men really need to take it seriously. Bev works every bit as hard as I do, and we share the chores around the house....and we do communicate! It may be painful at times but it is necessary for our relationship to remain healthy.

    Great job my friend; take the rest of the day off! :)

    bill

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi Daven. No, no more words required. :-) Just having a bit of fun today. No harm intended.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Bill, I knew you were near perfect without your mini-thesis. Bev's one of the lucky ones. As I said to Daven, I really just wanted to have a little fun this morning. I'm sure someone will be insulted though. If so, then I did a good job. :-)

    I've got a football game starting NOW so I'm headed for the boob box. I know - don't even go there.

    Hugs!

  • Faith Reaper profile image

    Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

    LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this Linda!!!

    THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

    We all have been thinking these very things, and now men have a clue from your very wise words. I pray they heed these words. Sometimes us, wives, etc., do not even bother saying anything, as it is evident one (men) should get it without having to be told, but here it is in print!!! Exactly right, I bring home a paycheck too, and it is even more . . . and then my second job begins here at the house!

    Thanks for this thought-provoking piece (we hope) to men. Wake up!

    Voted Way Up

    In His Love, Faith Reaper

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi Faith! I had so much fun writing this one and I hope some of the guys do get it. Thanks for all the terrific compliments.

  • Mhatter99 profile image

    Martin Kloess 4 years ago from San Francisco

    Thank you for this. Perfect...Nope. But you (and Bill) would be proud of me. Arlene and I threw out traditional everything. Day to day maintenance was based on who was best. This also meant good communications.But as this made the relationship too predictable, we decided to date again.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    MH, I am proud of you. I have always known you were a smart guy and being the romantic you are, I have never doubted that you knew what it took to have a great relationship. Arlene is a lucky gal.

  • mperrottet profile image

    Margaret Perrottet 4 years ago from Pennsauken, NJ

    I loved this - and all so true - especially about not leaving us alone when we tell you to. I'm very lucky to have a husband who has always helped with the housework, and even loves to cook.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi Margaret- I'm so glad you enjoyed this one. Sounds like you got a "good oen". The men in my family are good ones too, thankfully. In fact, most men are good, basically. They just haven't been taught. Let the lessons begin! lol

  • watergeek profile image

    watergeek 4 years ago

    Here's another one: Men, respect our ideas. We're every bit as smart as you are, and sometimes more practical. We have good ideas like you do, even when they're different from yours. At least consider them seriously.

    It used to be assumed that men have all the ideas, women carry them out, and men take the credit, but that's not the way it is anymore. Women resent it when we're always on the bottom. If we're going to be partners, we need to respect each other and treat each other with equal value. Thanks for starting this conversation, lrc7815!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Hi watergeek. I have probably opened a can of worms but it should be discussed. We are equal partners in this thing called life and should be treated as equals. We are different though and those differences should be respected. I agree with you!

  • shiningirisheyes profile image

    Shining Irish Eyes 4 years ago from Upstate, New York

    Very funny and very TRUE! I have no sympathy for the male species who has not learned the important lesson by now to lay low during that time of the month. Let's put it this way, if an atomic bomb were reported falling from the sky wouldn't you run for cover without looking up? Well, same thing. And always providing handy large amounts of chocolate and salt will keep you from serious bodily harm as well.

    I have to vote this hub up. What kind of woman would I be if I didn't share it as well!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    shiningirisheyes - your comment cracked me up. Chocolate and salt are my answer to everything. lol Thanks for the great comment.

  • SidKemp profile image

    Sid Kemp 4 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

    Thanks! My IQ is only about genius, so I didn't understand most of this. But my wife says that all your instructions are right on. She patted my hand and told me to keep trying. So I guess I'm not in the doghouse right now.

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Mr SidKemp - genius, you say. Do you know how many men have used that as an excuse? :-) It sounds to me like you married the genius. If the two of you read this hub together, then you have a good marriage and you are indeed doing alright. Thanks for the visit.

  • Amy Becherer profile image

    Amy Becherer 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

    Before I gave away my youth to two ex-husbands, Linda, I tried all your youthful ideas until I just lost my verve! Now, I'm happy to say I love living on my own, enjoying lots of interesting conversation with friends I choose, and not talking when I don't feel like it. The die-hard that I am knows that I could still find "the one", but the grown up woman I am now is perfectly happy on my own if it never happens. The love of my life, my Scottish Terrier, MacGregor, died from bladder cancer this July and I am still grieving the loss of the perfect man. I adore the photo of your sweet, bassett hound!

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Amy, I thought I might find you here. :-) It seems we have more in comon that we knew. I am standing in the same shoes (2 ex's) and loving every minute of it. I have to confess though. The Bassett belongs to a friend of mine. I share my space with Luna, the Italian Greyhound, who came to live with me after I lost Chessie, the Chow Chow. I've written about both. I do love the face on the Bassett though. I am so sorry about your MacGregor. They are such good friends and it is so hard to lose them.

    Again, thank you so much for spending time on my hubs. It means a lot.

  • SidKemp profile image

    Sid Kemp 4 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

    Yup - my IQ is only about genius, and my wife's is probably higher, and we read this hub together. Being geniuses makes things harder, mostly. Reading your other comments, I'm wondering if dogs are better companions for women than men are. :) Your thoughts?

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Sid Kemp - you may be a genius but you haven't lost your sense of humor among all those extra brain cells. Some women will probably tell you they prefer a dog, but they are lying. Some will tell you they've had men that were dogs and they probably aren't lying. It's all about finding - "the one", isnt' it?

  • SidKemp profile image

    Sid Kemp 4 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

    Finding the "one"? :) My wife and I took a different approach. We grabbed what we could off the bargain shelf when we were 20, and we've been tinkering with each other ever since. Kind of like the 6 Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman - "We can make him better than he was . . . better ... . stronger . . . faster."

    My wife grew up with cats and dogs. I grew up with cats. Now, we have cats. I'll have to ask my wife if she thinks she upgraded or downgraded when she shifted from dogs to me.

    And when a man is in the doghouse - is that a promotion, or a demotion? :)

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    All good questions SidKemp. But I think you're asking the wrong woman. My answer won't save your butt. You're a genius so I know you know who to ask. lol

  • bravewarrior profile image

    Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

    Linda, touche my friend! How come I'm the only one whos sees when the kitchen or bathroom cans are full? How come I'm the only one who sees gigantic white tufts of cat hair on the wooden floor? How come I can clean your dirty dishes yet you won't do mine? How come do I do your laundry but you never offer? Nevermind, you shrink cashmere and put darks with the whites. How come you can't take the time to remove a gift purchased at the last moment from Walgreens, of all places, out of the bag and wrap it or put it in a gift bag?

    Why can't you take the time for me? Even just a little..... This is why I prefer to be single. Sad, isn't it?

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 4 years ago from Central Virginia

    Shauna, no it's not sad. I'm there with you. I told my last one that if I was going to do IT ALL, then I was only going to do it for one. And that would be me. Of course that was right before I found out about his girlfriend. :-)

  • imtii profile image

    Imtiaz Ahmed 2 years ago from Dhaka, Bangladesh

    When I was reading the article i really enjoyed it. I know that some man are very irresponsible. My girl friend also tell me that I am just like the others. I hope your helps me lrc7815. You write nice articles. :D Another vote for you

  • lrc7815 profile image
    Author

    Linda Crist 2 years ago from Central Virginia

    imtii , hello! Thanks for reading my hub and for the vote. We all have our issues, don't we? :-)

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