What Women Want Men to Know

The girls have been talking and we’ve decided it’s time to tell you a few things so men – listen up.

First, we have a bit of news for you. In spite of how it seems, we do know that we are confusing. Hell, we confuse ourselves sometimes with our brains that function in overdrive and emotions that run rampant during certain times of the month. We get it. You don’t have a chance at pleasing us sometimes. So, don’t sweat it. Just do the best you can and when nothing works, keep asking us how you can help.

That’s right, you heard us. Don’t pay any attention to us when we tell you to leave us alone. What we really mean is that we need you and we want you to pretend that you understand. We want you to hold us and tell us you love us, and, that everything is going to be alright. There are going to be times when we lock ourselves in the bedroom and tell you to go away. Don’t. Find a way into that room, we know you can, and just hold us. We’re never going to ask for it so it’s up to you to just do it.

Now, let’s talk about family. We’ve made it pretty clear but in case you missed it - we don’t have to like your family but please, can’t you just pretend to like ours? Trust us, we know our mothers drive you nuts and that you think our brother is a worthless piece of crap, but hey, we don’t want to hear it from you. No, it’s not fair but hey, just man up and do it. Life will be easier for all of us.

Just chill, this isn’t going to last much longer.

We don't ask you to do much and as much as we hate it, we have to talk about the garbage. If you want life to be more peaceful at home, take the garbage out when we ask you to, not four hours later. We never have understood why you think we would ask now, if it didn’t need to be done until later. If we wanted it done later, we would ask you to do it later. So listen up. All you have to do is listen. If we say “later”, we mean “later”. If we don’t, then we mean “now”.

Okay you men, this is really important. In case you haven’t noticed, we bring home a paycheck too. The difference is, when we leave work, we come home and start our second job. Oh yeah, we work two jobs unlike you who seem to think that coming home is a hobby. You may make more money (which isn’t fair either) but we can promise you that stopping for a drink with the boys isn’t going to make the home front a happy place. If you do it often, we can guarantee it. If you’re going to live with us, you need to come home and help us. The laundry doesn’t get done by itself and we haven’t found a vacuum cleaner yet that can do the job by itself. And that toilet, geez, it wouldn’t kill you to clean it after you use it, would it? That’s all. We just want you to know that the key to a happy home is having everyone that lives in it, taking care of it.

This is pretty harsh and we know it. We just realized that we haven’t been communicating these things in ways you can understand. So, we decided to talk to you man to man. You understand that, don’t you? No emotion, no hormones, no fluff, just get down and dirty, man to man conversation.

We once asked our mothers how to find a perfect man. Across the board we all heard – there is no perfect man. Our mothers told us that sometimes life would be a struggle and that if we tried to find a man just like our fathers, we might end up disappointed. But most of us still tried. Most of us want a man who can be everything, when we need it. Sometimes we need you to be a mountain man and make the tough decisions. We need you to just fix things. At other times, we need you to be a gingerbread man, sweet and soft. We want you to respect us as the strong women we are but handle us like a fragile piece of china. We want to be your friend as well as your partner in life so if you want this to work, you have to be willing to talk to us. We mean – really talk to us. Don’t just tell us what you think we can handle or what you want us to know. If you want our trust, we have to believe you tell us all those little things you share with your friends. Our mothers taught us how to be a perfect woman so we’re just trying to help you learn how to be a perfect man.

Guys, has it ever crossed your mind to surprise us once in a while? You’re so darn predictable. We girls love surprises, even the small ones. And please, don’t wait until you’re in the doghouse. Do something just for the sake of doing it. Surprise us with a gift, even a little one. Even a card means a lot when it’s unexpected. Dinner out would be nice. Just don’t spring it on us. We need time to get all prissed up and sexy for you. We do not want to go to Chuckie Cheese though. Take us somewhere with atmosphere and get a table in a corner where we can really flirt and talk without an audience.

You say we talk too much. Ha! You didn’t think we knew that, did you? Well okay, if you want fewer words, we’ll sum it up for you. Just do these things and we promise, we’ll be extraordinarily good to you.

1. When we stop talking, you start. Ask what you’ve done until you get an answer.
2. Don’t go away when we tell you to. Push your way into the room and just hold us.
3. Never say bad things about our family, even if we say something bad about yours.
4. Take the garbage out when we ask.
5. Come home to your “second job” after work.
6. Help with the housework. Clean the darn toilet after missing.
7. Be tough when we need it and tender when we need that too. You’re smart. You’ll figure it out.
8. Talk to us like we’re guys. We can talk cars or sports too.

Our mothers may be right. For those of us who had a dad who was a great man we realize that finding a man like our daddy man be impossible. We can live with that.

There may not be any perfect men but you have a lot of potential and can surely do better than you do sometimes.

We know you're not like us but we believe you are capable of being all we need you to be. Show us you’re willing and us girls – well, you might find out that you found a perfect woman. Wouldn’t that be fun?

© 2012 Linda Crist, All rights reserved.

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