- Gender and Relationships
Men Who Make Excuses for Their Bad Behavior!
Women need to stop allowing men to blame their bad behavior on them! Give me a break!
Ladies, whatever you do... do not buy into these lies that many men are telling!
Okay, I'm really upset with unfaithful men right now... and also the women who are willing to buy into their incredibly selfish stories and excuses! Ladies, don't you realize what you are allowing by doing so?
Men - if you want to ever hope of having a loving and trusting relationship with a woman (and I know many of you do) - you must get your act together and become accountable for your own actions! Stop blaming the relationship, or the woman - for your unacceptable choices and behavior. Lets get real!
Women are the most forgiving creatures on the planet! That is one of the great qualities of women. But, do not let any man - prey and benefit from such a wonderful quality about you, and at your expense.
Guys, you must stop using this wonderful nature about women - to get away with your stuff! As a woman, this is what is really so disgusting to me personally - about this whole exchange. It is clearly emotional manipulation - and it must be recognized, and not allowed any longer. I think men, who engage in this type of manipulation in their relationships - really ought to be ashamed of themselves.
Sadly ladies, this is still going on today. Because - women are still allowing it. Women are supposed to be much more evolved today... with all this "chick-power" promoted by the media! But in actuality, when it comes to relationships and marriages - women are losing even more ground than ever before...
The Truth About Cheating - Why Men Stray And What You Can Do To Prevent It
Why do men cheat? M. Gary Neuman thinks he has some answers...
Well, isn't this the age old question... Author M. Gary Neuman has just recently published the book, The Truth About Cheating - Why Men Stray And What You Can Do To Prevent It.
M. Gary Neuman, has been doing the media circuit and doing interviews with various talk show hosts, etc... about his book; and what makes it different. I happen to catch one of his interviews lately, and I was impressed. He does not place the blame of a man choosing to have an affair on women in general. He does however, focus on those things that can be made a priority in a relationship, that can help to prevent an affair - if your marriage is at risk.
From what I could gather, after listening to him discuss his book, The Truth About Cheating - Why Men Stray And What You Can Do To Prevent It - this author is on the right tract to preserving and repairing marriages against the awful tradegy of an affair, and ultimate divorce. I am going to recommend this book, with plans myself to read it. If you have read this book, I would invite you to share your thoughts...
Taking Responsibility For Your Behavior Is The First Step To Repairing A Broken Relationship!
- The success rate for making right a wrong in our lives - will soar, if you first will take responsibility for your own actions.
- Stop looking to place blame on anyone else's actions - to justify a choice that you have made to act out!
- Own your own decision to be dishonest and unfaithful in your relationship.
- Recognize that you must tell your partner that you understand these principles in regards to the damage that you have inflicted upon your relationship.
Commit to yourself and to your partner - the deep desire that you have, to re-establish trust.
Understand, that you will not be trusted by your partner for sometime and rightfully so.
It is your responsibility to help re-establish trust in your relationship and this requires time and good communication. Do not resent her.
Be true from this day on and you will most likely accomplish bringing the love and trust back into your relationship that you both desire.
Tell your partner how much you love and appreciate them and their willingness to allow you back into their heart.
Forgive yourself for being dishonest with yourself and others, who once trusted you - knowing that they can trust again - if you never do it again!
It is possible to dodge divorce following an affair...
Divorce, only two or three decades ago, was still frowned upon by most of society. While at the same time - the good old media was making the independent and newly divorced women - look powerful.
In reality, a divorced woman of 20 or 30 years ago, was still being looked upon with those skeptical, side-ways glances, by mainly - other women! I know this. My mother was a divorcee of the 60's and I observed how she was shunned - by mostly other women. Even today, I am a bit bothered by how divorced women are still treated by other women.... in particular, married women. But that, is another article to be written.
Many women who have experienced a divorce, are victims of unfaithful husbands - who would not reform. Many, now divorced women - have given these unrepentant men, most likely - more than one opportunity to redeem themselves and get the relationship back on track.
What went wrong?
Why do so many marriages which have experienced this type of devastation - ultimately find it too difficult to ever recover - resulting in the tragedy of divorce and broken homes?
It is my personal opinion, that the reason for so many failed marriages due to unfaithfulness - has everything to do with "whichever" partner was unfaithful - not taking full responsibility for their choice to do so!
Both men and women in marriages, are cheating today.
So, where and when does it stop?
Marriages can survive an affair, with honesty and accountability...
Men and Women are Both Cheating! Stopping the cycle is a choice for change and fidelity in marriages.
Statistics are now telling us that the numbers are pretty close to being equal. Shocking, isn't it. We always assume that it is men that do the sneaking around, right?
Regardless. The one who cheats, must also be the one to fix things in the relationship. Ultimately, they are the one with the problem and they have personal work to do - if they desire things to get better in their relationship.
I don't know why men tend to blame the women in their lives, more so than the other way around. Perhaps, it is because women seem to feel more pressure in our society to live up to some kind of sex-kitten persona to maintain their relationships. This, is simply a lie!
I believe that this is the reason why, women may be much more susceptible to falling for these lies, which men seem to be really good at using.
I recently read an article, where the author was bragging about overcoming an early affair in his marriage. He went on to list all the things that his wife of over two decades now - had done to help him stay faithful. He gave his wife attribution, for basically keeping him honest all these long years, since "his" initial unfaithfulness. This, because of the many "things" that she was willing to do for him - to keep him from cheating!
Give me a break! All I could think of, was the fact that this poor woman probably needs counseling -- and desperately. What will happen "if" or more likely "when" this guy gets bored? How will this women then feel - after she has done "everything" possible to keep her man?
Ladies - these are the types of lies that you must never - ever, buy! If that man really believes that he is not cheating because his wife is willing to be "freaky" with him now - he is continuing to live a life of dishonesty with himself and his very loyal wife. Pathetic!
Happily ever-after... can still be achieved, if honest communication is expected.
Women must not enable their men - If they want a future as a couple.
Women need to understand that men who will not take full responsibility for their choice to step out of a committed marriage and be unfaithful - will most likely do it again. Unless your husband or partner truly accepts their actions as only their own problem - hope of a successful future are fairly bleak.
Women who will refuse to allow their men - this kind of cop-out, will do a great service for their man and his rehabilitation. If you love him, and desire a future of trust with him - then make sure you don't accept any possible blame he tries to place on you and convince you of guilt with.
Help him to understand the overall consequences of his choices and behaviors on your relationship and family life. Unfortunately - even good men are buying into the lies that the media sells...
Women are not responsible for their men and husbands deciding to be unfaithful. That is a personal choice of which they will need to take full responsibility.
The Truth About Cheating - Why Men Stay and What YouCan Do to Prevent It
Write On! Has more to say on Hubpages...
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- The Three Pillars For A Successful Marriage - And Love, Is Not One Of Them!
- Saving Marriage: Beware of warning signs - Equality in Marriage ...
- Keys to a Successful Marriage
- American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy
- Focus on the Family's Issue Analysis
- LDS.org - Ensign Article - Enriching Your Marriage
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