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Men Who Wear Lingerie | Why You Should Tell Her You Wear Lingerie Early

Updated on October 14, 2009

It's not impossible to break the fact that you like to wear lingerie to a girlfriend or wife years after you begin your relationship, but there are several strong reasons to come clean early on in your relationship, and I'm going to outline them here.

Firstly, your worst case scenario. Well, almost worst case, absolute worst case is being caught out in lingerie without having told her already. In this scenario, you have been together for quite some time, have an established long term relationship and you decide you want to come clean about wearing lingerie.

Now, as I mentioned before, this does not have to end in disaster in any way. If you have a strong relationship and you maintain a high level of trust, intimacy and communication between each other, you may very well find that she is accepting of it.

However, you run many risks in this scenario, especially if intimacy and communication have been waning, which is often the case in relationships where one partner hides a deep part of themselves.

In this case, the revelation may lead to shock and heartbreak. She may feel that she doesn't really know you. She may feel betrayed. She's likely to experience a wide range of negative emotions in addition to dealing with the lingerie wearing itself. Guess what is likely to occur in that situation? She's more likely to react negatively to the news than if she had known all along. She's more likely to treat the lingerie as the enemy. People who have established a status quo are usually more resistant to change than those who are experiencing a quick series of wonderful changes, often referred to as falling in love.

The best time, in my opinion, for you to share your lingerie secrets with a woman, is when you two are falling for one another. No, don't spill it on the first date, but when you are becoming intimate and feelings are developing and you are in that heady, sweet romantic rush – that is the time to tell her. In this context, your confession is a sign of trust between you. She will feel flattered and special that you chose to share this with her at this time. And if she really likes you, then odds are, I don't care what she would have said three months ago before she met you, she won't mind you wearing your panties. Love is blind, love is accepting. Love, in its early stages is a form of chemical madness. Women put up with ridiculous things in the name of love.

Know this, above all, your wife or girlfriend wants to know that she is important to you, she wants to be your one, your only, your everything. If you deny her parts of yourself and she discovers them after many years, it is as if you were cheating on her, but with lingerie. This might perhaps seem irrational to a man, but trust me, to a woman who perceives a threat to her relationship, anything can be an enemy, even a pair of pretty pink panties.

Telling her early on allows you to ascertain whether or not she will be a suitable partner for the long term, (there's nothing like discovering your partner is a horrible fashion bigot after ten years,) will put her in a better frame of mind regarding the news and make it something you can share with one another.


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    • profile image

      Tom 

      8 years ago

      I believe that there should be no secrets in any relationship , honesty and openness are always the best way to maintain a happy and healthy relationship.

    • profile image

      silklover 

      9 years ago

      When you hide the fact that you love your womens panties you are missing out on a lot of fun and excitement. like one said if she hates it shes not worth the time and may reject you on a lot of other ideas

    • Philipo profile image

      Philipo 

      9 years ago from Nigeria

      Its good to let her know that you are a wearer of lingerie. This could be done maturely and gently.

    • profile image

      panteelover 

      9 years ago

      I waited for over 12 years to tell my wife. She was shocked to say the least, but has been very accepting of it. I wish i would have told her earlier. If you think there's love, then don't hold back.

      Thanks for all the hubs Hope, please keep up the good work.

    • SatinJenni profile image

      SatinJenni 

      9 years ago from Burlington Ontario Canada

      It was so many years ago (25+)...definitely not something talked about like it is today. When I first mentioned the idea of "trying on" her panties my girlfriend was very interested in the idea. She was more curious than anything.

      I still vividly recall the powder blue satin string bikini panties of hers that I put on. They were a bit big for her, tight on me, they had a small playboy bunny logo on the rear. Of course I had been wearing panties for years already and it was just to test the waters. In no time we were shopping together and today we still do...We have been married for over 25 years. Tell her early is sound advice.

    • profile image

      celtichic 

      9 years ago

      Precisely!

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Thanks for your comments guys, its good to get backed up by men who have done this and know it works...

      I couldn't agree more, getting caught in her panties is not the best way to break the news to a woman...

    • profile image

      Cantsay 

      9 years ago

      I have always tested the water by joking with a new girlfriend about it. Perhaps saying she has nice underwear when I first see it, and then joking about how I'm going to steel it and prance around in it when she's not around. Of course it has to be said in the right way.

      Of all the girls I've had no problem with, with my lingerie, they've all laughed at that stage and said something like 'knock ya self out'. After a fe similar jokes with my current fiance, I joked about it as she went off to have a shower and then hid under the covers wearing a (clean) pair of hers I'd also comment on as being nice when she'd last worn them.

      All this within probably 4-6 weeks of meeting her, but I guess our relationship moved quite quickly anyway.

      So anyway, on that occiasion I joked that I had them on under the covers and she laughed and said 'whatever' and we played with the subject verbally and eventually she pulled the covers back. She laughed, and we joked about it. That was a good sign, and days later I opened up - telling her the absolute thruth, that it was something I discovered at around 10 years old and that I liked the materials, the thrill, the naughtiness etc. I explained that it didn't harm anyone and in my opinion made me a far better partner due to all the spin offs - more feminine (in touch with that side at least), more likely to buy her nice clothes, and boy have I done that, and of all the other things.

      She is absolutely fine with it, buys me things, we share things sometimes - it works well. She has a better wardrobe now than she's ever had, that's for sure. She truly values my opinion when she asks me how she looks in something and she now has no horrible lacy seems in her bras and her boobs look even better than they did before under her lovely clothes.

      Lets face it, there are so many positives to it and no negatives at-all - any girl who can't see that is not worth your effort. And if you meet a women who isn't open minded enough to see it how it really is, she is likely to be as narrow minded about a lot of other things in life and also not worth your effort.

      You could almost argue your lingerie is a way of filtering the good from the bad - yet another good thing about it.

      I think the overall message is spot on though Hope, don't hide things, treat people with respect and be open and honest from the start! Certainly getting caught in her knickers isn't going to be a great way to start the conversation off :P

      Have a lovely day Hope! :)

    • profile image

      rich3800 

      9 years ago

      A good way of telling her would be in the form of some intimate game where one reveals some aspect of himself/herself or challenges each other to wacky situations, for example, where the game requires that the players wear each other's lingerie.

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