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Mistakes men make in relationships: Common mistakes guys should avoid making

Updated on December 23, 2013

Common mistakes that men make in relationships include being too needy, being selfish when it comes to sex and intimacy, letting jealousy ruin things, being excessively controlling and being too serious. As silly as they sound, these mistakes are even sillier when they are made. This honest post is a must read for guys who want to avoid ruining their relationships. At the end of the day, it is all about letting love retain its original character – fun, exciting and romantic.

When was the last time you looked into your girlfriend's eyes and showered her with compliments that made her feel attractive from within?
When was the last time you looked into your girlfriend's eyes and showered her with compliments that made her feel attractive from within?

1) Not complementing her: Becoming complacent about attraction

Most guys make is that they stop complimenting their girlfriends the way they did when they first started dating.

It is understandable the raw attraction matures into a genuine bond as any relationship progresses. But that should stop a guy from complimenting his girlfriend when she wears that body hugging dress or at any other random moment.

When guys stop giving compliments, the romantic vibes start to fizzle off. If you are guilty of not complimenting your girl even when she puts in the effort to look nice for you, give yourself a tap on the head to come out of your unromantic slumber.

2) Suddenly becoming insecure about the clothes she wears

It is unfair on certain levels for a guy to compliment a girl's tiny black dress while asking her out and finding the same dress a bit too revealing once they start dating. This is a typical example of how some guys let their insecurities get the better of them and start being controlling about the clothes their girlfriends wear.

It is a different thing if your concern is genuine. For example, your girlfriend may not realize how transparent her sheer top gets under the camera flashes. But if you suddenly start pinning her down for deep neck tops, short skirts and other stuff which you were once ok with, calm yourself down. Don't let your insecurity control her wardrobe.

3) Expecting impractical levels of female grooming

The definition of 'sexy' as portrayed by popular culture has created a lot of expectations from women – especially from a grooming perspective. Guys often get carried away and start expecting their girlfriends to be immaculate every single day.

If you expect your girlfriend to be hair-free every single time you meet her, give yourself a wakeup call because you are living within the realms of ad campaigns and magazine photo shoots. In reality, it is not possible to get a wax every day or shave legs on a daily basis.

Be mature about your reactions towards your girlfriend's grooming habits and stop expecting her to have flawlessly hair-free skin all the time. How would you feel if she asked you to wax your arms or shave your privates every single day?

Do you bother your girlfriend with a constant stream of calls, messages and annoying levels of neediness?
Do you bother your girlfriend with a constant stream of calls, messages and annoying levels of neediness?

4) Becoming emotionally clingy and needy

It is a myth about love and relationships in general that guys aren't as susceptible as girls when it comes to becoming clingy. Men also fall into the trap of becoming overly dependent on their girlfriends for their emotional needs.

You may have become emotionally needy if you can't let a day go by without speaking to your girl or if you get frustrated if you can't meet her on a daily basis. Take a step back because this mistake can make you seem like a burden, making her walk away from your relationship.

5) Belittling her views, opinions and advice

A common way many guys disrespect their girlfriends is when they belittle their views and opinions. There is nothing more a girl would like than for her advice bringing about a positive outcome in her guy's life. She is bound to feel heartbroken when her genuine attempts are ridiculed and brushed aside.

Just because she isn't in your shoes, doesn't mean her advice is any less valuable. In fact, she may be offering just the bird's eye view that you really need while dealing with a problem.

6) Mistaking sex for intimacy

A very common mistake guys make in a relationship is that they mistake sex with intimacy. Women crave for intimacy as much as men however the concept of intimacy is much wider. Intimacy isn't just about sex, but also about never-ending cuddles and a sense of togetherness.

Intimacy can be something as simple as spending an afternoon together on a hammock or something as cozy as cuddling and watching your favorite TV shows. Don't take intimacy for granted.

You might be boring your girlfriend if you try to be serious and mature all the time.
You might be boring your girlfriend if you try to be serious and mature all the time.

7) Being too serious all the time

The most beautiful memories of your relationship and life in general, will be the ones in which you did something outside your comfort zone. Loosen up, let go of small problems and bask in the lovely hue of puppy love.

It is great to be mature and if maturity is one of your personality strengths, it will actually be the anchor which holds your relationship together. But there is a fine line between being mature and being a tad too serious. Crossing this line will make you seem uptight and boring.

8) Being dominating: Bringing ego in a relationship

A man's ego is a core part of his personality and image. Right from standing up in school playgrounds to talking back in company boardrooms, ego is something that is sometimes a necessary evil. But the same ego can cause a lot of problems in a relationship.

Guys should remember to put their egos on the back burners when they are with their girlfriends or wives. Egos bring out the dominating side in men – something that will push a relationship downhill.

9) Being too controlling in a relationship

Sometimes boyfriends and husbands get carried away with their idiosyncrasies a bit too much - to the extent that they become obsessed about controlling every single aspect about their relationships.

Right from telling her how she should behave in front of your friends to how she should dress for work – if you find yourself trying to control a lot of aspects about her, back off. Being a bit too controlling is a common mistake guys make in relationships.

You'll frustrate your girlfriend if you become to possessive.
You'll frustrate your girlfriend if you become to possessive.

10) Taking possessiveness to an obsessive level

Possessiveness is a cute thing when relationships start off. Couples enjoying puppy love often encourage each other to be slightly possessive in a fun way. But this takes an ugly turn when the urge to be possessive spirals out of control.

When men become too possessive they start looking at every other guy as someone with whom his girlfriend may flirt with. Trust is slowly eroded as possessiveness morphs into suspicion, after which it becomes difficult to save a relationship from being broken apart.

11) Being cheap or obsessing about saving money all the time

Budgeting and financial planning are good virtues but they aren't the most romantic ones. If you like to keep a close eye on your money, better keep it to yourself. Don't talk about it with your girlfriend.

Women hate it when men obsess about saving money all the time. Girls understand the value of saving a buck but they want guys to understand that saving a few dollars shouldn't be the priority while going out on a fun date.

12) Associating sexual chemistry with love

Guys often make the mistake of associating sexual chemistry with love. This is a terrible misunderstanding because sexual chemistry is not a benchmark of love.

Sexual chemistry is something that is dependent on a lot of intrinsic factors including fights and arguments, overall levels of happiness in a relationship and a how long it has been since the couple began dating.

The absence of a spark should not be confused with a lack of love. If you think that things are going downhill in the bedroom, do stuff that makes you both happy outside it first. A healthy and happy relationship outside the bedroom is generally a healthy and happy one inside it.

When was the last time you took her out on a date?
When was the last time you took her out on a date?

13) Becoming complacent about dating and going out

A lot of guys take dating for granted once a relationship matures. They don't see the need to woo and pamper their ladies every once in a while, just like how they used to when they went on their first date.

This sort of lazy behavior can lead to disappointment and arguments. Don't make the mistake of becoming complacent about dating even if you are in a committed relationship. Be the fun guy that you once were and show your girl a good time every now and then.

14) Avoiding commitment: Running away from adding stability to a relationship

There comes a point in every relationship when couples need to talk about where they are and where they are going. Guys generally don't like to acknowledge such conversations as worth having, even though they are nothing more than just small talk which adds a sense of stability to a relationship.

Being completely commitment phobic is a mistake that can be directly responsible for a couple to drift apart. Remember this and don't let your aversion towards commitment be a cause for breaking up with a girl who is actually the best thing to ever happen in your life.

15) Putting friends before her

Some signs that you are putting your friends before her:

  • You make fun of her in front of your friends
  • You always take your friends' side when something goes wrong
  • You would rather hang out with your friends than spend some time with her at the mall
  • You let your friends say bad things about your girlfriend

You may need to set your priorities straight if you are doing any of these things. Girlfriends don't want to take the place of best friends in their guys' lives. But they don't want to be treated like second class citizens either. Women want men to give them the time, attention and respect that couples in any loving relationship give to each other.


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