Monogamy For Men
Marriage is a heart-stabbing, life shaking, venomous monster. Just ask anyone currently in the midst of a divorce or bad break-up. There is very little I can write here that hasn't been said, but there is something I can say differently. Young men rarely are taught well what benefits come from marriage. I've heard it often said that different males received advice from patriarchal figures of their families while young. These ranged from "marry an ugly chick, she'll never cheat" to "marry a woman who can cook" or "marry a blonde she won't be smart enough to care if you're lying". Ouch, yes I swear these have been shared to young boys and often. In the awareness of this fact, I'd also like to give a large shout out to the grown males who give deeper wisdoms to the younger males. The negative possibilities to marriage are endless, but the same holds true for driving a car. Last I checked, the majority of young males look forward to getting behind wheels anyways. If males were able to access sound and balanced opinions regarding marriage as easily as they access condoms, perhaps they would experience happier adult lives.
Here's the crux, marriage is the reward for finding the woman you absolutely need in your life and being wise enough to realize if you need water, you drink. Many have argued we do not, or should not, need another person. Truth is, though, there can be a person that you find benefiting you in important ways. If they make you smile a lot, for one, they are valuable. Making you feel safe, again, massive benefit, as well as your enjoyment in their presence. The puzzle piece, that many get stuck on, is the fact these things can be enjoyed without any form of commitment. This is true and this is the selfish path. If you give another commitment, openly, and thoroughly, you will give them the knowledge that you love who they are entirely. When you do not, regardless of whether it is spoken, you leave a doubt in your partners mind. You leave room for them to entertain the thought you may not care for them deep enough.
Now for the love of all that is holy, please do not settle. Acknowledge that marriage is your REWARD, and as such you must value yourself enough to make it all you hope for. There can be many scenarios where someone seems to fit, but if you do not know for certain, say no. I am aware many would say "hey I already did that a few times and I am skeptical." Take heart, no one says you did it wrong, but fact is you or your partner was not honoring what marriage is, and therefore it ended. My argument is not that marriage is going to last forever, but more so that if we viewed it positively, we allow more happiness in our life.
Tell the younger males that when they meet the woman they are lucky to marry, that they will feel energetic. Mention that they will feel humbled, protective, and more alive than they ever did before. What about telling them they will find themselves smiling randomly, or singing songs they wouldn't normally? Tell them mostly, that when they get married, they get to keep that feeling if they choose someone whom they really love. For love is based on very little another person has done, and very greatly on who they are. Tell them the truth, marriage is the college of love; endless parties and studying, that leads to something greater. Love is a tough lesson, but it is worthwhile and recommended.
Tell them the truth, marriage is the college of love, endless parties and studying, that leads to something greater.
Love is a tough lesson, but it is worthwhile and recommended.