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- Non-Monogamous Relationships
No Strings Attached When It Works
No Strings Attached
Welcome Readers, this article is in reference to having sex without being in a "serious" relationship. I am writing this article because there is not very much information on the subject if you googled it. This information is only based on my opinions and experience with the subject at hand. For the record, the people out there in committed relationships I am not referencing this article toward you. So please do not leave nasty comments at the bottom of the page, I am just putting this information out there for others to use for their own personal use. Lastly, in noway am I promoting cheating, or not being in a relationship, I am simply stating some opinions about the subject. Wheew. Now onto the subject at hand, sex with no strings attached, commonly referred to as 'booty calls' is a subject slightly taboo to mention to family or even personal friends. Although many people who do engage in this are left with questions, most times the questions are answered the hard way or though a long time of experience. I will state the pros and cons of having a relationship like this. I will also add some closing statements that maybe helpful.
The perks of having a no strings attached relationship can be pleanty depending on what you set for your standards and what is acceptable for you. Although for this to be successful you should have a few things outlined and made very clear.
1. NO DRAMA. The point of having a no strings attached is to avoid the drama of having a full blown relationship. This should be very clear to the other person and to yourself before you go this path because if it is not clear then you will have problems later on.
2. NO FEELINGS. This goes without saying..but still needs to be said. You can't get emotionally attached to this person.
3. KEEP IT REAL. This is my own personal rule, when it comes to having a non committed relationship such as this I say be honest and speak up. Remember the point of doing this is for own personal pleasure. So enjoy yourself and speak up. If their is something your unhappy with just be real and say it.
Now with this being said, as inpersonal as it sounds it can be rather exciting. As long as the guidelines are set you can sit back and enjoy yourself. Imagine getting the sex you want without the nagging afterwords? It doesn't mean you and the person your having sex with can't be friends as well. Just don't hope for more then what is being offered, and you can make a good friend out of it as well.
I feel it is equally important to know most of the common downfalls of non committed sexual relationship with someone. This downside should always be taken into consideration before you make your decision to engage into this kind of arrangement.
1. YOUR NOT A GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND OR WIFE/HUSBAND. You must always remember your role no matter how cool the person seems or is to you. Your not entitled to get upset if the person declines to see you because they are out with someone else. Keep in mind that for whatever reasons you choose to be involved with this kind of arrangement remember they have theirs as well. They may or may not be different from yours.
2. YOU MAYBE SECOND PLACE. Meaning that he/she may have a girlfriend/boyfriend or wife/husband and is cheating on them. This goes back to having set your own standards, (whether your willing to play second or not) but its always important to remember that this person does not want to be in a relationship with you. Or is not entirely a person you want to commit yourself too. If you are playing second remember to get yourself out of any drama involving their relationship with the other person. The reason being is if you give your personal comments and or feelings their is a possibility when it all comes out you will be in the middle because of the things you said.
3. DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL. This is so important, what this means is to keep your mouth shut about certain subjects. Also not to ask about certain subjects. This will keep you protected emotionally..and physically. You should never disclose what your personal life is like to this person, futhermore you should if you don't have someone be actively looking or at least not turning down offers. You shouldn't ask them about their personal life either. Keep the conversations light and without weight like what you have in common. Beaware that you never know if you play second, what the person on the other end is capable of. DON'T LEAVE YOUR PERSONAL INFO IN THE CHEATERS HANDS OR PHONE! Keep yourself safe and always call that person private so if the cheater gets caught your not in the crossfire.
4. ENDINGS. Just remember at any given point, without any given reason, your "booty calls" will end. The end is always upon you, (another perfect reason not to get attached) so don't put your life on hold for this one person. You should always have a backup plan, or at least be working out your issues in the meantime. That way when it ends, it ends. You also have the right to pull the plug on this anytime you feel without giving a reason. If you happen to find someone you really want to be serious with you don't have to tell "booty call" anything. Other than not to come by anymore. Simple as that.
5. TIMING. This is just my own personal rule of thumb because the ending like I stated is always upon you. Have a clear time frame for how long you want to have sex with this person. Remember the more you have sex with somebody the more close you will automatically feel more so after each time you do it. It starts off slow (sometimes) and then increases in intensity. So have a time frame picked out, its about knowing yourself. You don't want to wait until you start to feel attached because trust me by then its already to late. You want to have a set many times because by doing it that way then cutting it off after that you won't be so exposed.
With that being said, before you go this path keep in mind those are just a few of things that could happen. I will state that their is also a risk of stalkers. It is always wise to be extra careful because this is not a long term relationship.
Words to the Wise
This type of arrangement is not for everybody. Certainly not for the lighthearted, or for the amatures. It does in my opinion and experience have way more cons than pros. It should be used like a temporary drug. It is good for a few uses, not for a long term addiction. I'm going to be completely honest with you here. Even if you do chose to do this arrangement, even if you play it smart, if you keep doing this for a long time you will feel like a robot. This should not be something you plan on doing with multiple people. With each person you are taking a very high risk, your health for one, and for two if you live in a small town being known for a sex object. This is not the type of arrangement where trust is valued or appreciated, so keep in mind that makes the risk much higher. This type of arrangement is only good when you are using it for a short period of time, with someone you know (or at least have some information about before hand), your working on your own personal issues as to why you don't want a serious relationship (as in your focusing on yourself and what you want in your life), and most importantly learning what you want sexually and findng your voice in the bedroom. You should have standards as I said if you play this game wrong you will get hurt. If you feel I left anything out feel free to leave comments at the bottom of the page. I hope you enjoyed the article and found this information useful. Until next time readers be safe and well. :)