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Online Dating A Lisa Mitchell Original
Did I make you laugh?
A Day In My Life
A new match has been found.
21 never shaved and out of state.
Yes this is my MATCH! Not!
I'm wondering when.
I'm a pretty normal girl.
You have an instant message
My heart leaps
We start to chat.
We seem to like each other.
20 hrs later no answer to the text I asked about his day.
Hello mouth meet foot.
<<flashing green light>>
You have mail
You look like you like to have fun lets hook up.
Really you got that from the smile on my face.
I didn't realize my smile said I wanted to "bleep"
Because my profile says I'm looking for a steady relationship.
I know it was my smile.
Maybe I should try looking like a serial killer!
Oh wait he smiled too, nevermind.
Suave just viewed you.
Really could he not put some clothes on.
And why is my mailbox full of 20 men in their bathroom.
Hello, get a clue there are other rooms in your house.
Hey wait your shower's bigger than mine can I date your shower.
Ohhh look this one looks good he is in his closet.
Is that a full size shoe rack.
I need one of those.
Now I know I'm at the wrong site
Your house features are turning me on more than you.
Why God, do I have to be single!
You've got mail.
Joe in San Diego has sent you his questions.
Really God, homework.
What is this you screwed up big time so you have remedial training.
Trudge, trudge; open up the mail.
Fine I answer your questions, but I got questions of my own.
We go back and forth for three days.
Instant messaging back and forth.
You offered to cook for me at your house.
Not on the first date.
We go out and after 30 minutes all I can think is how fast can we be done.
The point is for me to like you not the couple two tables over.
Maybe those are sympathetic smiles for me in response to your unsolicited advice.
Did you really just say women are bad drivers?
Now I'm running swiftly and not looking back.
<<Flashing green light>>
I've got more mail.
Oh good after that fiasco I need to buy some shoes or shop for something.
Slick1 has left you a msg on your account.
Really Im not a gold digger, but are any of them ever rich.
i'm only wondering because at this rate I may never marry for love.
Did you really just ask if we could be friends with benefits?
Everyday I think delete this profile
Nothing good ever comes from it
There's the guys that text me till neither one of us wants to go out.
The hey I'm only in town one night.
And the how many dates till I get you in bed.
I've lost interest now and sign out and won't be back for three more weeks.
And you'll email me you have matches for me.
Oh not again.
But in the end all online dating has gotten me is desperate, crazy, noncommittal men.
I think I'll call it a night and go to bed.