ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Online Dating A Lisa Mitchell Original

Updated on November 4, 2011

Did I make you laugh?

See results

A Day In My Life

<<Chirp Chirp>>

A new match has been found.

21 never shaved and out of state.

Yes this is my MATCH! Not!

I'm wondering when.

I'm a pretty normal girl.

<<bzzzzz bzzzz>>

You have an instant message

My heart leaps

We start to chat.

We seem to like each other.

20 hrs later no answer to the text I asked about his day.

Hello mouth meet foot.

<<flashing green light>>

You have mail

You look like you like to have fun lets hook up.

Really you got that from the smile on my face.

I didn't realize my smile said I wanted to "bleep"

Because my profile says I'm looking for a steady relationship.

I know it was my smile.

Maybe I should try looking like a serial killer!

Oh wait he smiled too, nevermind.

<<Chirp, Chirp>>

Suave just viewed you.

Really could he not put some clothes on.

And why is my mailbox full of 20 men in their bathroom.

Hello, get a clue there are other rooms in your house.

Hey wait your shower's bigger than mine can I date your shower.

Ohhh look this one looks good he is in his closet.

Is that a full size shoe rack.

I need one of those.

Now I know I'm at the wrong site

Your house features are turning me on more than you.

<<beep beep>>

Why God, do I have to be single!

You've got mail.

Joe in San Diego has sent you his questions.

Really God, homework.

What is this you screwed up big time so you have remedial training.

Trudge, trudge; open up the mail.

Fine I answer your questions, but I got questions of my own.

We go back and forth for three days.

Instant messaging back and forth.

You offered to cook for me at your house.

Not on the first date.

We go out and after 30 minutes all I can think is how fast can we be done.

The point is for me to like you not the couple two tables over.

Maybe those are sympathetic smiles for me in response to your unsolicited advice.

Did you really just say women are bad drivers?

Now I'm running swiftly and not looking back.

<<Flashing green light>>

I've got more mail.

Oh good after that fiasco I need to buy some shoes or shop for something.

Slick1 has left you a msg on your account.

Really Im not a gold digger, but are any of them ever rich.

i'm only wondering because at this rate I may never marry for love.

Did you really just ask if we could be friends with benefits?

Everyday I think delete this profile

Nothing good ever comes from it

There's the guys that text me till neither one of us wants to go out.

The hey I'm only in town one night.

And the how many dates till I get you in bed.

I've lost interest now and sign out and won't be back for three more weeks.

And you'll email me you have matches for me.

<<Chirp, Chirp>>

Oh not again.

But in the end all online dating has gotten me is desperate, crazy, noncommittal men.

I think I'll call it a night and go to bed.



Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • pinktulipfairie profile imageAUTHOR

      pinktulipfairie 

      6 years ago from Torrey Pines Beach

      I just want to say Thank you to anyone who reads my hubs. I really appreciate you letting me have a minute or two in your world. So thanks!

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)