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Online Dating Mistakes Men Make

Updated on August 21, 2009

I live in a country where I’m really just not compatible with the local stock. It’s partially a mentality, and it’s partially a physical thing; I like big, broad-shouldered men who can throw me around in the bedroom, and I’ve yet to see anyone even close to that over here. Therefore, I have little choice but to resort to online dating. Not that I mind – it’s fantastically convenient in a number of ways.

It’s like shopping, and all women love shopping to some degree.

However. Men don’t always realize how closely women inspect what they are shopping for. Nor do they seem to realize that the rules of in-person dating still apply to online dating. To a point, anyway. The following are mistakes quite a few men make on a regular basis. And they continue to make them, because women just break off contact without telling them what they did wrong. So this is for y’all – you men who lack a certain online dating etiquette.

Stop messing up!

  • Don’t wink.

Don’t send me a wink and expect me to reply unless you’re George Clooney. I don’t chase men in person, and I’m not about to do so online, either. If you could take the time to wink at me, you could have sent a sentence-long email telling me you’d like to get to know me better. Winking just lets me know you lack the confidence to date me; if you really were interested, you’d have told me so.

  • Don’t spend an hour online and not reply to your emails.

Dating sites show when you’re online – if you’re actively trolling through the site looking for Ms. Right, you’d better take a moment to reply to last email you solicited before you log out. Otherwise, Ms. Maybe is going to tell you where you can stick the next email you send her. If you’re able to search a dating site, you can reply to your emails. Anything else is game playing. These 3-day rules? These are for men who have women falling at their feet. If you were one of these men, you wouldn’t be on a dating site.

  • Don’t disappear over the weekend.

A lot of people, men and women alike, scour online dating sites while they’re at work during the week. They strike up a chat and use it to entertain/flatter their egos – and they do this on a daily basis. And then when the weekend comes around they use their newly pumped up image to go out to a bar and try to pick someone up in person. People like this suck. Don’t be one. And if you are, don’t pop back online come Monday. If you do, expect a rapid deflation of your ego.

  • Be ready to communicate off-site.

In other words, you need to know when to stop emailing through the dating site and switch to a real email system. It doesn’t have to be your work email – you can use a hotmail address if you want to. Online chatting and Skype are even better means of communication. But insisting on keeping things on the dating site says you’re afraid of progress. And if you’re so unsure of a woman that you can’t even decide whether or not it’s ok to use a proper email address, something is wrong. I have had this happen twice and it’s really quite annoying. Not to mention a complete waste of my time.

  • Don’t ask for additional photos unless you plan to reciprocate.

I realize men are more visual than women, but don’t request more pics of a woman and not have anything to give her in return. And don’t you dare try to pawn off a 10 year old photo and think it makes up for not having anything. You want something? Give something; anything less is unfair when dealing with a perfect stranger.


These are the most common mistakes I've encountered, and I run the other way the second I see them coming. Do your love life a favor and don't make them yourself!

xx Isabella


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