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Online Dating: Classic Warning Signs

Updated on November 6, 2009

I’ve been experimenting with online dating for ages, and I don’t really pay much attention the negative stigma often attached to it. That said, the internet does make it easy for men to act like total creeps if they so choose. I’ve certainly encountered my fair share, to say the least.

Fortunately, I wised up at some point and started recognizing the red flags once they started waving.

And, believe me, most of the men dating online have at least one flag flying around. All you have to do is pay attention to a man’s profile and see what he says about himself. The following clues are a strong indication you should skip right over him.

  • His intro title says: "I love life!"

People who love life are too busy loving life to bother shouting it to strangers at the top of their lungs. In fact, every man I’ve met who stated as much, was the exact opposite. If he feels the need to advertise this kind of thing, odds are he’s trying to convince himself as much as he’s trying to convince you.

  • His profile is written from the perspective of a "friend"

This one is just stupid. It goes something like “I couldn’t think of anything to say, so I asked my friend to describe me, and this is what she said.” Sometimes the man will even write the answers in third person! I suppose this stems from not wanting to brag about oneself, but, come on, if you don’t have the confidence to list a few admirable qualities, why should I believe you actually have any?

  • He has photos of himself with other women.

Does it really take a rocket scientist to know the women perusing your profile are going to wonder if that’s an old girlfriend? Do these guys really think we want to scope a potential new man – and the girl who preceded us? No thanks! Unless the woman is obviously his mother, grandmother or great-grandmother, this guy is missing a goodly chunk of brain cells. Odds are he’s put these pics in there to make you think he’s desirable – this is the sign of a man who annoy you to no end if you actually started dating. Next profile, please!

  • He sends you a wink, instead of an email.

This guy is lame. If he doesn’t even have the confidence to email a woman he’s interested in, can you imagine how wishy-washy he’d be in person? Good gawd! Regardless, this behavior clearly says he doesn’t like you enough. If a man really wants something, he will make a clear effort. Forget this guy and get a man who knows what he wants.

  • If he does contact you, he gets everything wrong.

Your profile clearly says you’re an attorney, a single mother, and you have 3 kids. He contacts you and asks what you do for a living, and do you have any children. Believe it or not, male online behavior is similar to how they behave in person – they chat up the first pretty face they see and don’t really pay attention to anything she says, unless it involves the words “motel” and “right now”. If he couldn’t take the time to read one little paragraph about you…


There are far more red flags I could include, but that’s enough for now. I’ll try to make another list in the near future!

xx Isabella


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