P.S. I Still Love You - Part 5

The town hall was booked in advance. Arvind had got an invitation from the mayor of New York to share some of his experience about how to live a happy married life. As Arvind entered the hall, there was a huge roar. Arvind was surprised to see the amount of people who had turned up just to listen to him.

He stepped on to the podium and started addressing the audience “I should have taken the public speaking classes” There was a laughter followed by huge roar and applause. The audience consisted mainly of Arvind’s old clients and other couple who had never visited him, but his popularity was there to be seen. His weekly column in a leading newspaper on Marriage Problems was a big hit.

Arvind continued ”Iam not here to give any magic formulas of how to make marriages work. There is no such thing as formulas for a successful marriage. Instead I will share some of the mistakes I committed and the lessons I have learnt, so that it can be great benefit to you all.” There was a pin drop silence in the hall now. Arvind continued “ People keep on asking me whether Iam a good husband or not. Many think I must be the best husband a woman can ever dream, but the truth is Iam not as good as people think. Iam very bad at communicating my emotions and that took toll of my marriage.

I was a bad husband”. There were murmurs among the crowd. Arvind continued” I just did not tell my wife how much I loved her and how much she means to me. I was so engrossed in my work that marriage became my second priority. One day my wife threatened to divorce me but then somehow I managed to save our marriage. But after some time things became the same and again I was engrossed in my work without knowing my wife is suffering from cancer because she decided not tell me as she did not want to burden me with her problems. She died six months back and I could not even tell her how much I loved her. I sometimes thought it is not that necessary to keep on saying the same thing that I loved her and all as I thought she will understand the unsaid.

I guess I was wrong. Today I realize how important is to let your loved one know how much you love and care for them. I kept on procrastinating to express my feelings. I thought I shall tell her tomorrow how beautiful she looks and how wonderful I feel in her company. Tomorrow became a month and then a year and then the inexorable death came and took her away and I felt miserable. Today even if I want to tell her I cannot. I missed my opportunities when time was there” Arvind’s eyes had become moist and looked down for a second gathered strength and spoke again “Dont repeat the mistakes I have made.

Tell your other half before it is too late. Dont let your ego come in your relationship. Dont work so much that you don’t even know what is wrong with your love. We work hard so that we have money for our future, but what is the use of that money when we don’t have our significant half whom we can share? I wasted so much time to earn those extra bucks, but what is the use of that money for me now? I wasn't even there with Natasha when she was dying. I feel like a criminal sometimes.

Just remember that in times of confusion, despair, hardships, Love is the only thing that acts as a guiding light, a light which is sent from the heaven and makes life worth living. No matter how much ever you work when times are difficult it will be Love that will come to your rescue. I did not realize its importance until it was gone. Do not get enamoured by your work and money so much that you lose focus of your family. The success of a married life is not how much you are loved but it is how much you can give love, something which Natasha taught me". Tears were rolling down from Arvind's cheeks.

He continued "Iam not saying that only men are at fault, women are also at fault, but I can say from my experience that if a woman in the marriage is happy, the marriage is successful because a man represents the head of marriage and woman the heart. Women give more in a marriage than a man. Woman has to leave her family where she has spent most of her youth and enter a new family, she has to adjust there, she makes far more sacrifices than we men do”. The women in the audience were giving “I told you so look” to their respective husbands.

Arvind continued ”There is no harm when there is less of ego and more of love in a marriage. We men are logical and women are emotional and that becomes the root cause of our problems. We men always think logically, but emotions don’t understand logic. Try sometimes to think from your heart and you will understand your woman much better. Keep your woman happy if you want a successful marriage.

Just remember, Marriage like any other thing requires patience and adjustment. Marriage is not like a fixed algorithm, that if you follow certain steps success is guaranteed. It is something that you have to work on day in and day out. There are some points I would advice you people to do

a) Communicate with your partner, no matter what, don’t keep anything in your heart. Just say it. Things become far easier after that. Lack of communication accounts for most the failed marriages.

b) Avoid losing temper with your partner. Even if you fight don’t bring details about the last fight.

c) Accept your partner as they are. Dont try to change them. Everyone is unique and special in their own way.

d) Dont allow your ego to come in your way.

e) Last but not the least, remember life is changing every minute, everything is ephemeral here, there will be both good and bad times, there is no such thing as perfect marriage, but there is something called as happy marriage, try to be happy and make your love also happy. Remember you have not married your love only, you have also married their problems, their misfortune and shortcomings and its upto you to turn bad into good.

Thats all I have to say” Arvind concluded. The audience stood up and gave Arvind a standing ovation.

Just as he was walking away he heard someone calling him out. He looked around to see Pooja and Jatin standing with another woman. “Hello people” Arvind greeted them. Pooja said” Iam happy to see you smiling Arvind. Come here for one moment” Pooja took Arvind in a corner. “ You saw that girl with us? Pooja inquired. “Listen pooja” Arvind started to speak but was cut short by Pooja, “Arvind I know this is difficult, but you know that Natasha wants you to get married again and even we feel that you should. You have helped us so much. We both want to see you happy. Iam not saying you marry her right away. Go out on a date with her and if you feel okay then great else no issues. There is no harm in trying” “Pooja I need time and I don’t want to do injustice to that girl. Try to understand” Arvind argued. “ Give it a chance, there is no harm in dating. You have to move on Arvind” Pooja answered back. “ Richa, come here” Pooja called her. “Arvind this is Richa” Pooja said. They both greeted each other.

“So what do you do richa? Arvind inquired. "Iam a financial Analyst” Richa replied. They both started walking down the street, talking about life and work in general. The sun was setting down in New York and Natasha’s second wish was soon going to become a reality. Someone up there was smiling.

Concluded

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