- Gender and Relationships»
- Relationship Problems & Advice
Your Partners Gaming Addiction: Cause for Concern?
When on-line gaming affects whether or not you sleep with your spouse at night, there might be a problem. Or whether or not you are able to communicate effectively with your partner that you so cherish because of “gaming commitments”, this is also a problem. How about when you are requesting some hot loving from your significant other and it turns out that this won't be a possibility because there is a “raid” meeting on-line at a “special” time that night and he is unable to accommodate you. Once is fine, twice is understandable, but three times and you're out, or are you?
When one partner is just too distracted to take part in the relationship, it’s cause for concern. The gaming partner might not even be aware of any issues because they are just so detached and their thoughts are only on the game. That raises a couple of pressing questions for the partner not playing the game. One, can I continue to live unattached and unloved and continually brushed to the side? And two, Am I just being selfish by wanting to have time with my partner?
The answers to these questions are not that simple. Living with a partner is suppose to be a joined effort, that means equal in all ways. In most relationships, an “equal” partnership doesn't exist. It is a shared effort to a larger goal. But you may wonder in times of hardship, What is that goal? The goal is to be a family, whether you are two or six, it is a family. When both partners don't care about whether or not the evenings include only computer time, then that is a joined decision, made by both parties. Neither cares to communicate with each other and thus, no problems there, at least not yet.
Gaming addictions can lead to tremendous problems in the outside world for the gamer and for those attached to the gamer. Could this be an attachment issue? Or is he/she just not that interested in you? Well the simple fact is that gaming on-line or on a gaming console, is an addiction. Why? It leads to distracting a person from his own life just as drugs and alcohol can. Instead of altering your thinking, it alters what you are thinking about. The gaming spouse needs to decide whether or not this will wreck their relationships and ultimately their lives.
Getting Caught Up
It may be easy to get caught up in the midst of beating a level or getting one more piece of armour that will make your character more powerful, but that is just the beginning. The game may be played once in a while or when there is a free moment to burn. But it can escalate from there pretty fast. It soon becomes all the addict can think about. Pretty soon, they are no longer interested in the mundane relationships of daily life. They isolate themselves emotionally. Everything dulls in comparison to the game. For the partner waiting to spend time together, it can be confusing. When time is spent together you are never sure whether they want to or they feel obligated to. Again, an emotional void. The partner waiting begins to wonder what is wrong with them and they begin to feel worthless.
Hope for the Addict?
Is there hope for the gaming addict? There is a 12 step program, just as with substance abusers, to assist you with recovery. Does that mean that a gamer has an addiction that is just as damaging as a substance abuser? Well that is debatable but one thing is certain, the addiction to gaming can destroy families, relationships and employment. So it very well could be just as damaging.
In the end, I wonder why some may feel so guilty for wanting more. Could it be that they too are addicts of some sort, maybe a co-dependant gaming spouse? Who knows. One thing is for sure, without help, this marriage, relationship or partnership will crash and burn. Recognizing that there is even an issue at hand, is the first step.
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