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Perfect Pick-up Lines

Updated on July 5, 2009

Hi, I'm Pestalina!

You've spotted someone interesting...

 Standing in a crowded room or waiting next to a bus stop, you happen to take note of a gorgeous hunk standing (or sitting next to you).  "Mmmm, how edible," you mumble to yourself as you cast your eyes over his finely honed body, muscles bulging in his denim shirt, and your eyes inadvertently move down to his crotch.  Most of us stop there.  We devour the hunk with our eyes as if he was some kind of orgasmic eye candy.  But, very few of us actually take it further and try to get to know if his personality matches his bod and pheromones he's drowning your senses with.  So, Pestalina has come up with some pick-up lines that you can use to try and get you your first date. 

Pestalina's perfect pick-up lines

  1. You want to come and see where I pack my cookies?
  2. I'm sure I've seen you here before and you seem so interesting.
  3. Excuse me, my friends are paying me money to talk to a stranger as some kind of a dare.  Do you mind if we...
  4. Wanna show me if that gun you're packing is real?
  5. What's your star sign?  I'm gemini so I can be like a whole harem.
  6. Wanna come and play hide the salami with me?
  7. Your mum sent me to fetch you...
  8. You have the ass Michaelangelo would have died for.
  9. God, it's so hot today, I'm pleased I'm not wearing any underwear!
  10. I'm addicted to your aftershave, can you catch me when I faint?
  11. Do you like dogs?  I like doggy style.  I can bark too if you want.
  12. Jeez, look at your hands and long fingers, you remind me of my gynaecologist
  13. Let's just go to my place and get naked.
  14. My name's Pestalina, so you know what to moan when the time comes.
  15. Is that package real?  Can I feel to check?
  16. What can I do to make you go out with me?
  17. I don't believe in sex on the first date, but I have double-jointed arms.
  18. Can I be your slave tonight?
  19. Congratulations, you've just been voted the best looking man in the bus line and your prize is a night out with me.
  20. Do you mind if I stare at you, because it's like a magnetic pull, I can't turn my eyes away.
  21. I'm new to this city and you look like someone who can show me around.
  22. What do you like for breakfast?  I just want to make sure I have it in my kitchen when we wake up.
  23. I want you to melt in my mouth like Dutch Chocolate.
  24. I've got a packet of condoms with your name written on it.
  25. I've just had a new tattoo, could you please come and check to see if it's infected?  I have no-one else to ask.
  26. I've just redecorated my bedroom and your shirt would look divine draped on the armchair.
  27. Would you like to eat your dinner on my body tonight.  think of me as the love buffet.
  28. My brother told me to ask you to play spank the monkey with me.  Can you show me that game?
  29. Call me Thailand, hot wet and waiting for tourists.
  30. Do you think my top is too revealing?                                                                                                                                                                                                          

Now Pestalina has started you off...

 Goodness, if I didn't have to go out now could have come up with so many more.  But, I've decided to leave it to you to come up with some new ones or ones that have worked for you in the past.  Please feel free and add to the comments.

This hub was inspired by a friend who earlier shared a great put-off line with me.  Some girl said she can't go out with him as she has to look after her hamster. 

Comments

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    • Hawkesdream profile image

      Hawkesdream 8 years ago from Cornwall

      I heard this on a film:

      "Did it hurt?" "When you fell from heaven."

    • Princessa profile image

      Wendy Iturrizaga 8 years ago from France

      They are so funny, I love them! Good job the weekend is starting so I can try them out ;-)

    • Teresa McGurk profile image

      Sheila 8 years ago from The Other Bangor

      These are outrageous. Can't wait to try some of them, just to see the look on some poor child's face!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hawkesdream, Princessa and Teresa. Thanks for stopping by and have an absolutely outrageous Easter weekend!

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      "$15.00 for sex sounds reasonable" Is my best pick up line.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Ah, you're so cheap Pest!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 8 years ago from Free and running....

      15 dollars in real money Pest, monopoly money don't count

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      No fifteen bucks is cheap.  I am simply willing to pay!

      Toad I have "payday" money!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Aye Toad, and the miserly bugger better not give it to me in chocolate gold coins either!

    • goldentoad profile image

      goldentoad 8 years ago from Free and running....

      he better not try to put it on lay away either

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah, like buy now pay later. Think miserly bastage might do just that, and then tell his Momma all about it.

    • JamaGenee profile image

      Joanna McKenna 8 years ago from Central Oklahoma

      Cindy, you are soooooooooooooooooooo bad! (But thanks for a few lines I hadn't thought of...) ;}}}}}}}}}}}

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey, had ten minutes to kill before going out tonight so thought what can you do in ten minutes, oh I know, a silly hub lol I quite like the just decorated the bedroom one. very subtle I thought!

    • Raven King profile image

      Raven King 8 years ago from Cabin Fever

      Wow very daring lines...have you tried some of them?

      Line 1 is my favorite.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      No, not yet, but am thinking of trying some out. They can say yes or no. If you don't ask, the answer is always no.

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

    • Florida Keys profile image

      Florida Keys 8 years ago from Jewfish Key Florida

      cindyvine....very funny....I wish you'd made it a poll and let us vote though.

      Are you from Tennessee??? cause you're the only 10 I see!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hi CC, unforskinately, Chairman Mao's cronies here have banned Youtube for a while so I can't watch your video clip

      Florida Keys - was thinking of doing a poll but was rushing out and in a hurry, so maybe next time!

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 8 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      These are hilarious. Yuk and duh...it's usually the guy with the line. You have just liberated all females around the globe. Thumbs up many times over.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Sally! We have to learn to stand tall and take what we want.! WOMEN RULE! God, I'm going to be burning my bra next!

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I love a woman who knows what she wants and goes for it!!! You missed...Lets F**K

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey Blue, was trying to be subtle and drop subtle hints

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I find subtlety is sometimes overrated :-)

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      Hey, I forgot about that, shit! Well it is a link to your music Journey to the planets.

      Oh, and did you see what you wrote? (unforskinately) forskin? hahaha

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      lol I remember once when this guy used to always come and visit and stay for ages chatting, until finally I said to him, "It's one o'clock in the morning. I'm going to bed now. Either you can go home or you can follow me. Good night!" He was very surprised at my lack of subtlety. But what's the point in pissing around. Life is too short to play some game.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      CC, thanks for the link! The music teacher burnt me a cd. Did you listen to Gustav Holst though. I think Jupiter is the one I like best of all. Australia used that I think, in their Olympics song. Unforskinately was probably not freudian.

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      If you'd said that hours earlier you wouldn't have stayed up all night humpin........just thought of another hub.....hehehe...when you're bad.....

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Well, sometimes you wait for the man to make the first move because it's your sexpectation, ad then the bloody blighters just sit there...

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      I got to go, but yes I listened to it. see ya later on tonight mebbe, have fun now, and RB is horny, good match. haha

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      RB Horny? Nah, he's a gentleman

    • Florida Keys profile image

      Florida Keys 8 years ago from Jewfish Key Florida

      A gentleman's a man who can count a woman's pubic hairs without raisin a woody. Heard that somewhere...thought I'd toss it in

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      lol FK, love that one!

    • k@ri profile image

      k@ri 8 years ago from Sunny Southern California

      LOL, I had to read them to my daughter. She now thinks I am corrupted! :D

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hope your daughter was over the age of 16!

    • Florida Keys profile image

      Florida Keys 8 years ago from Jewfish Key Florida

      I've been sent out begging.....shamelessly....I need your votes for hubnugget of the day.

      http://hubnuggets.info/

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      k@ri, I tho't you were corrupted already.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey FK, that link doesn't work fo me!

      CC, you corrupt us all lol

    • Anna Marie Bowman profile image

      Anna Marie Bowman 8 years ago from Florida

      Cindy, these are great!!!! Another hub that goes along with the segment on a show I watched last week! It talked about a study done on pick-up lines that would work best on men. No big surprise, the men responded more to the very direct lines, and far less to the subtle lines. These are fantastic!!! I wonder if they would work....I guess it can't hurt to try. In the name of science, of course.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah, we need a couple of women to go out and try these out and then give us feedback which ones will work or not. lol

    • Jewels profile image

      Jewels 8 years ago from Australia

      Rated up Cindy. And I've printed out your list. Let you know how I do.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey, thanks Jewels! I'm waiting with baited breath lol

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      Well cindy, may be my dear. But at least it's a wonderful way to be corrupted, by the mastah lover!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      The mastah lover?

    • sharrie69 profile image

      sharrie69 8 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      I usually drop a drink on them by accident..then you get to help them wipe it off :-) heheh - seriously...that's how I met my fiancé!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Oh, I like that one, Sharrie!

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      This how I picked up my husband , " Is that an Armani you are wearing?" "Is that an authentic Rolex?" No I wasn't a golddigger I just wanted to make certain he wasn't trying to dig into my pockets. I can't stand when a man stares at you for your beauty and as introverted and quite as I honestly can be, after a couple of drinks I was brave enough to open my mouth and ask. lolololo It honestly stinks sometimes being attractive, as you are Shania Twain, Keira whatever her name is, a famous tennis player, I am thankful I believe for my gene people but I certainly wish I had all of their bank accounts and I wouldn't be working my batooty off as a nurse. lolololol :) I just want to be me, *sniff, sniff*

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      But you love being a nurse, you get to hang out with the handsome hunky doctors. "Oh Doctor, my heart is beating, can you put your hard stethoscope on my chest. Wait while I part my bosoms for you!"

    • sharrie69 profile image

      sharrie69 8 years ago from Trinidad (an island in the Caribbean)

      Oh and nice Manicou photo at the top there...that's what we call it here, you guys call it a possum.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      LOL....Ya had me at cookies! :)

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah possums are pests, Sharrie. Thanks for stopping by, Tom. Think we managed to hammer the one who needed hammering?

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      Another favorite of mine is: "Do you have a cam?" Or "Do you cyber?" I am a little rusty as I have had no takers on these two potential gems!

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Grins Cindy.....Yip...he is the biggest idiot I have ever ran across on Hubpages. He blames women and Jews for all evils of the world. We should all call him Chippy! :)

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Pest!....We got to learn some big words....that urmidden guy is gettin' all the action!

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Cindy, That is true some of the doctors are hunky and some are not  Stethoscopes a' flyin . lolololo :D

      Pest: Where do you come up with these? You are hilarious!!!

      Tom: Do work on the big words as we would love to hear them..lololo

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 8 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      I wanna know which lines are the most effective! And the guy who wouldn't leave -- did he end up following you to bed or what?? Do tell!!!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Okay, we can try out some of them big words here, "Excuse me Sir, would you succumb to my advances and iluminate my curiosity so that I can perchance have a closer inspection of your phallus?"

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      Big words???? I just burned out spell checker on this laptop with felatio....then tried to get the defenition...Apparently Felatio is a retired Mexican with Mafia ties.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Um, MM, now, that would be telling, wouldn't it! have to keep some of the mystery, you know!

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      I wonder if that guy is another spinner? His words are so far-fetched , Cindy you are a nut !!!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      That's cause you misspelt it, Pest! isn't it Fellatio? The hunky Italian waiter at Ciao italia across the road from you?

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Ah, AE, all veggies will tell you that nuts are good for you.

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      felatio, fellatio, fillabuster...don't matter my puter quit working for me.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Yippie Pest....hell yes we can use PHALLUS Thanks Cindy...You and AEvans can help us lernt some big words! How can we say"Want some sex" in a big word?

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Would you care to partake in the mutual pleasure of fornication?

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Cindy, You will not believe what happened to me and I must have pee-peed in Cris A's wheaties. I went back to read the Love Me..blah, blah, blah and I made comment earlier what a great hub it was yada yada yada and that he had forgotten women in his article, he denied my comment. Boy I was smacked in the face and I am certainly not visiting over there anymore.:( Pest it is your fault.... *sniff snuff sniff* Tom I knew I shouldn't have gone over there...I will never go again!! Rhett oh Rhett !! lolololo

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      LOL...that's perfect Cindy...should we ask for cookies before or after?

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      I am sorry AE!!  My fault??? why???  Seriously?  You has me scared.

      LOL!

      I never steer you wrong!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Tom, do you want to supply the milk to go with the cookies?

      AE, he couldn't possibly have denied your comment, he loves you! He basically said the same as he said in the Hate me hub, just covered it in sugar which made it more sarcastic. there was nothing about love in it at all. he was just taking the piss and people fell for it. he's brilliant is our Cris lol

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Ah Pest, Pestalina will follow you anywhere!

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Maybe Andy Baker stole it!!! lolololo it isn't there I was being silly and I am going back in to repost... :)

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      good thing i don't need to use pick up lines as I'm always the one getting picked up! By the morning trash truck that is, :D

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      lol Cris, and is the driver of the trash truck, a beautiful Filipino woman with her trash overalls cut off to show her slender long legs and work boots?

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Beer is better with cookies....Wow......beer cookies...somebody needs to invent beer cookies!

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 8 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      Cris A, That is naughty the trash truck lolololo and she probably doesn't have anything under her overalls. :D

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      I make a really mean beer bread, great with a BBQ and so quick and easy to make. can give you the recipe. And on Thursday, I made beerbird. You take a chicken, stick it upside down on an opened can of beer and put it into the oven for 1 and 3/4 hours. delish!

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      ewwwwwwwww pre made puke wafers @ the beer cookies

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      oooops

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      It's too hot in the Philippines, AE to wear anything under the overalls.

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Cindy/AE

      I really don't know, they always put me in the back with the morning's recyclables! :D

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Pest's Puke Wafers? hey, we can copyright that name and patent it! pest, we can make a fortune!

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Beer chicken...beer bread....mmmmmm...that does sound delicious!

    • Pest profile image

      Pest 8 years ago from A Couch, Lake Odessa, MI

      Promises of fortune are a great way to draw a stud's attention.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Well Cris, while you're in the back of the trash truck, see if you can find ingredients for our wafers. Mmmm we can call them Pest's Puke Wafers and Cris's Crunchy Crackers

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Tom can be our marketing manager, and AE can do the health check on it!

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      What rhymes with puke wafer?

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Nuke safer

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      Keep your nuke safer...eat a puke wafer! Hey....stoners would get it! :)

    • shamelabboush profile image

      shamelabboush 8 years ago

      Would you like to eat your dinner on my body tonight. think of me as the love buffet. haha, very funny. I might quote one of these lines :)

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey Shamel, it's supposed to be for women to try out :) but guess you can give it a try as well!

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      These were too funny!  Loved them!

      I never had a pick-up line, but there was one time when I went to have lunch by myself.  As I was sitting there, I spotted this gorgeous hunk sitting alone at the end of the bar.  When the waitress came over, I told her to please buy whatever he's drinking, on me. (I've apparently watched too many movies).  I waited with breathless anticipation, fully expecting him to hot trot his bod over to my table.  All I got was a smile and a wave.  When the waitress came back, I asked her, by the way, what was he drinking, and she laughed, and said mineral water.  Geeze!  but I guess with a body like he had, that's how he got it LOL

      Thanks for another fun read!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Hey Trish, what would you have done if he did come over?

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Hmm, well, after I recovered from fainting, I really don't know. I would like to think I would have turned on all my charm hahaha! Seriously, back then, I would have engaged him in conversation while trying not to drool LOL. I don't think I would have the nerve today to try that again.

    • CharmTheory profile image

      CharmTheory 8 years ago

      A pick-up line someone used on me once that i'll never forget is.

      "Your face and your hair makes you look big, but you're not big, you look good."

      There was a cultutal difference and things really got lost in translation. LOL He really was trying to give me a compliment. LOL, it still makes me laugh to this day,

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      lol Thanks for your contribution, Charm!

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahahahah this is super cool Cindy. Another good one is if you see a real hunk across the room is:

      As you go to leave the bar, walk past his table and drop a 50cent coin for him. He will ask "what's that for".

      You can then say, "That's for tomorrow morning to call a cab home"

      You probably heard that one, but it works great for men and for women. Put it this way if it doesn't work well you only have 50cents to lose as well as most of your dignity LMAO

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      cindy...a new avatar??? what did you do to that poor guy????

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Blondepoet, might try that!

      R.Blue, no, that's one of my homemade sausages I was making yesterday! 10kg of them as BBQ season is here!

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Whew.....was starting to worry about taking you out on a date!!!

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      AE - I was having fun reading the comments again here when I stumbled upon your comment below. I haven't denied any comments to my hubs eversince and I'm sure as hell won't start now. I went and check the comment you made on my love me blah blah and it's there. I even made a response. So I don't totally get this.

      "Cindy, You will not believe what happened to me and I must have pee-peed in Cris A's wheaties. I went back to read the Love Me..blah, blah, blah and I made comment earlier what a great hub it was yada yada yada and that he had forgotten women in his article, he denied my comment. Boy I was smacked in the face and I am certainly not visiting over there anymore.:( Pest it is your fault.... *sniff snuff sniff* Tom I knew I shouldn't have gone over there...I will never go again!! Rhett oh Rhett !! lolololo"

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      hahahaha Cris you got to tell it as it is.

      Oh I spy R.Blue here, I am going over to his joint now to give him a hard time, shhhhh Cindy I will try one of your pickup lines on him.

      Let's see what he says LMAO. You got to be right out there, us women....here goes...which one shall I pick ????

      I know I know

      Hopefully this may spur him to reveal himself to me

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      You had me at Hello!!!

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      oooooooooooooooooooooooo

      Hey R.Blue I want you to melt in my mouth like Dutch Chocolate.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Those are such little o's mighty detective. I'd love to make them all BIG O's

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I don't know, I've always found words unnecessary. Just look em right in the eyes and smile. If that doesn't do it, they're married or gay, or married and gay depending on your state.

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      I got lots more if u wanna come and play hide the salami with me?

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      blonde, how about this for a pick up, "I know this great little mud wrestling place."

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I'm married and Lesbian...does that count???  I didn't know California allowed such things.....OH oH oH ...and I got another one for that area....Oklahoma....that area just north of Bush country. BP...I'd rather just go and F**k...I don't have time for hiding no salami...hid eggs all day...you hid yours yet?

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      RB...can I go and wresatle with you and BP...I'll let you both win!!

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      omg R. Blue is a woman he admits he is lesbian aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

      Lesbian or not I like Randy's idea, lets get down an dirty in the mud yahoooooooooo

      R.Blue get your gear off cos u r going down big fella/momma

      I agree no beating around the bush R.Blue straight to the point is best

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      All my fantasies are finally answered....hehehe

      Ever consider that I am Randy Behavior....both RB....hmmmm

      Or she rat on me already?

      And I love beating around the bush...and shaving it and...

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      You in Randy....... you got 10 seconds to decide or I going to do the deed all by myself LMAO

      Ehhh.Sweet mother of ..... now another twist here.......ohhhhhhhhh.....randy and R.Blue are the one person....I am going to faint.......(blonde plops in the mud pile )

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I'm IN!!!!!!

      Oh...and I've decided it's Quid pro Quo Clarice....you tell me something...I'll tell you something....e-mail only

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      We are she R. Blue :)

      But seriously, "let us win" Pleeeease, we'll kick your ass!

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Have it your way....I just love it when you have it your way.

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I think deb's started without us....she's disappeared.

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      I will tell u anything u need to know aghhhhhhhhh, if you release the ropes around me.....okie doke.....everyone naked...let's rock and roll...............Randy after the count of three let's bring this dude down 1............2.................3......

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Ummmm, RB, when poet says Randy she's talking to me. Yes I'm in.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Naked? Don't I get a costume?

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Dont confuse me aghhhhhhhhhhhh Randy.................hahaha splat, take that

      No costumes, no way

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      I say we do that body slam trick we perfected on Pest. 1.2.3...

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      No costumes means we get to see what is what, LMAO

      I got blue down here I here him gurgling beneath me. You going to help me Randy.....I am weakening

      oh yes lets do that trick and blow his brains out

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Shall I sit on him?

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 8 years ago from United States

      My fave: "Nice pants. They'd look great on my bedroom floor."

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      We'll blow something, I'm sure.

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Yea sit on him while I bind his feet yahooooooo, he is awfully quiet or is it hard logging in as 2 people Randy hahahahaahah.

      hahaha Tom is here that is fate, everytime I wrestle he happens to swing through, hey Tom cop this...........SPLAT

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      OK, so I'm a girl, obviously.  And your a girl, even more obviously.  So Blue here? What kind of equiptment has he got?

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I give, I give...really

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      There he is, I thought we lost him in the mud.

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I'd say it's hard.

      Biu I guess you'd have to be the judge of that

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      HE SPEAKS HE SPEAKS...............God this mud us so damn thick can hardly see him...can feel heaps though................yahoooooooooooooooooooo.......i got something in my hand no idea what it is

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Hard... to wrestle to girls in the mud?

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      It's a baseball bat! Hard is the key isn't it?

      Somebody pinch me quick...I think I'm dreaming.

      OUCH...I didn't mean that hard.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Braggart.

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahaha Randy..........Now R. BLue now that we got you down have u got anything to say before before we give you the 123

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Blonde do I get to bathe at your house after this again?

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      with champagne in the jacuzzi

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      That aint no baseball bat I can tell u

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      YES...can I have the 4, 5 and 6 too???

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Thanks to you 2...there goes another night's sleep!!! At least I won't roll out of bed.

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      yes after this u all coming back to my pad. Hell yea.

      R.Blue you not only getting the 4,5,6, you getting the 7,8,9............you are so damn slippery cant hang on too tight here.................aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

      Look Randy his eyes are rolling,kinky devil he is ooooooooo

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      He doesn't fight very "hard" does he poet? He just kinda lies there with a big grin on his face. Not much of a fighter. I say we just set his dazed self off to the side and have our selves a real wrestle.

       

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Can you imagine when cindyvine and others come and read this....they'll think we've lost our minds......and they'll all be so jealous!!!

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Indeed not Randy with two of us astride him I don't think he can move at all

      Hahahaha R.Blue I would assume everyone has already assumed I have lost mine LMAO but what a way to go

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I can move a bit but only vertically....in rapid motions. from the hip

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Awe we've mudded up hubs before. *wink*

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      BP...of all the things I've lost....I miss my mind the most!!!

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      That's all u got to do baby,we got it all in control, "ohh Randy did u used to do the hula hoop as boy that's one hell of a roll u got there"

      yea me too R.Blue lost mine from a young age(birth)

      Now that is all u getting for today from me...BP needs to eat something now LMAO....here I will untie your legs, from the kindness of my heart

      I am satisfied now

      You were good but I had better LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..........(wrestling people who are reading this.....boy people have got dirty minds)

      come on guys lets go wash up...and see who is who hahaha

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Which Randy???....oooops

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Randy, me? Thought she didn't know.

      Roll? I've never been this skinny, she must be talking to you.

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Yes...roll over, I'll do the other side now.

      Well I sure didn't tell her.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Blonde? you won't leave me here... alone... with him?

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I think she's in the shower already....grab some soap.

      Yeah, I know I'm a lot to handle all by yourself.

      Besides...I'll just sit here and watch you 2 for a bit.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Alright, hope she'll feed us too.  I'm famished. And cocktails, I need a drink.... and a good scrub brush, and a backrub...

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      You will be fine honey.I got a little love manual I wrote here I will leave it with u...I sketched a few diagrams................made it real easy.....hahaha and R. Blue LMAO u did a little slip up quote :

      R.Blue says : RB...can I go and wresatle with you and BP...I'll let you both win!!

      Here can u just scrub my back I can't quite reach......oops dropped the soap...one min

      oooooooooooooo I am a shrewd one hahah even with all this mud slapped on my carcass

       

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Me too after all that...I think all she has is leftover Easter Eggs. Internet lines to Aussieland must have gotten cut. Well...I'm whipped and beat...Guess it's this boy's bedtime...you othercoasters and Aussies are on a whole different time thingy......Goodnight lovelies.

      Oh...alright I'll stay a bit longer...but only til i lick....I mean wash all this goo off you both.

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Gnite Randy (R.Blue) sweet dreams.x0x0x

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      So you figured out loose lips, but you haven't figured out me or my hub crush yet...

      Good Night you guys, next time we meet.... you're going down. (no pun intended)

       

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I figured that out long ago...duh!

      Do the initials TR mean anything???

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      not to me, are talking to me?

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Yes...That was my guess on the hubcrush.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Nope. But Poet was hell bent on figuring it out, she never did though.

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Shhh....BP's not a real detective!!! 

      OK...now I've got to do some more thinking.....hmmmmm

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      OMIGOD! I go off to work with my sweet innocent Grade 4 class and find all this mud wresting stuff! Blonde Poet I am so shocked. A good Aussie girl like you! What on earth would a good Aussie boy like Kevin Bloody Wilson say about your behaviour! Actually, I'm jealous sitting here watching my class work on a task, pissing down with rain outside and I'm wearing my slippy shoes in the wet, while you guys are having fun!

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Hahaha I bet you got a shock to see another 50 comments or so on your return.Oh alas these Yankees lured me into their snare while you were gone. I resisted as best as I could but well you know the rest. A pity you weren't here to join the action, I could have done with a spare pair of hands

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah, BP, while I was at work teaching my little darlings, you were out mud wrestling with the boys on my hub! Not fair!

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      cindyvine I hope no little eyes peer over your shoulder as you're reading...would scar them for life :-)

      Yes, you missed a ripsnorting good mudwrestle.

      Next time I insist on chocolate pudding wrestling BP...that mud on you tasted gritty....and caused my member a bit of chaffing.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      nope, now 8.51pm kids long at home lol

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Good morning Cindy only 6.30am here,aghhhhh,my brain is awakening lol

      hahaha R.Blue start collecting the pudding, you going to need a lot of packets

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      I buy in bulk at Sams Club. ...but was also considering Butterscotch...what's your pleasure?

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      G'day BP 5.30am here. Jeez, have to get up an extra half an hour now to check my mail before getting ready for school.

      R> Blue, I quite like the butterscotch

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      I am with Cindy aye indeed the Butterscotch mmmm

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Mmmm I have a couple of packets of Butterscotch instant pudding in my cupboard I use when I make Transkei Mud Pie

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Oh my that made me go and have breakfast lol, you must partake in all activities next time Cindy hehe

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      It's a bit difficult during the week as my timezone is so different, mind you, it's pretty close to yours, we're only an hour apart

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Yes Cindy got it this morning, I spotted it with eyes that were half open and couldn't see anything else LMAO. Oooooo I am excited now hahaha.

      I was so tired I went to send you one back and accidentally sent it to myself hahahahahahha, seriously, and had to resend,hope you got it.

    • whiteorchids profile image

      whiteorchids 8 years ago from Tropical Paradise

      This is hilarious and those darn pick up lines are used everywhere, and so is the "what sign are you?" enjoyed the hub.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      BP. am working on the super hero one today.

      Whiteorchids - I remember some suspect bi woman coming up to me in a bar and asking me"What sign are you?" To get rid of her quickly, I just told her and then she said something so bizarre, "I'm Sputnik, the kind that swings both ways!" I smiled and then nearly went to sit on my friend's lap afterwards. All he said like a typical bloody male was, "Hey you can use my place. I'll follow and take photographs." Men, I ask you!

    • GeneriqueMedia profile image

      GeneriqueMedia 8 years ago from Earth

      "What's your star sign? I'm gemini so I can be like a whole harem."

      Female feline ferocity, right there. ;)

      Shortest pickup line in the world:

      "Nice shoes, wanna screw?"

      G|M

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      lol GM

    • feeweewv profile image

      feeweewv 8 years ago from Between A Dream And Reality

      Hmmm... at approximately 10:30 every morning... the most delicious looking man takes a run by my house... I might have to try one of these to break the ice... LOL...

      Funny stuff!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Feeweewv, let me know how it goes!

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      cindyvine.....you lost your sausage...sure hope that never happens to me.

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah Blue, too many people were commenting on how it intimidated them

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 8 years ago from Right here

      Whaaaaaa....that little thing????

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Well, haven't seen Pest around since he caught sight of my sausage, whimpered and then ran off into the bushes to hide

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 8 years ago

      I tho't it were a nice sausage myself. Next time put up an even bigger one. LOL

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Might do that CC, that'll show em wankers who were terrified of my sausage. What's happened to Pest and AE?

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      maybe they have eloped

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      lol BP, maybe...

    • gamezire profile image

      gamezire 8 years ago

      love that one

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Gamezire, try some them out and let me know how it goes.

    • crinkle profile image

      crinkle 7 years ago from Philippines

      i had to explain to my officemates why i was giggling.

      i love the one about the 'love buffet'!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      Thanks Crinkle, glad I managed to make you smile. The love buffet is quite a good idea!

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      I'd want to walk away before I told him off, if a man tried to pick me up with those kind of pick up lines!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      Strictlydating, these are lines for you to use, noy him! lol

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      Strictlydating, these are lines for you to use, not him! lol

    • stricktlydating profile image

      StricktlyDating 7 years ago from Australia

      Haha, okay!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      no worries lol now try some out and let us know how it goes!

    • Azur Moon Wolf profile image

      Azur Moon Wolf 7 years ago

      I needed the laugh this hub engendered. Thanks! The two lamest lines I've ever received were: "Where do you hide your wings, angel?" and "I lost my number, can I have yours?"

      On a dare I told a man that "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you tonight?" I thought his eyes would fall out of his head! :)

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      Azur, I love that Teddy Bear line of yours! Excellent!

    • habee profile image

      Holle Abee 7 years ago from Georgia

      These are Great! Love your sense of humor!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      Why thanks Habee. Let me know if you use any of them with success.

    • profile image

      pick up lines 7 years ago

      lol brilliant!! i've bookmarked you page!

    • cindyvine profile image
      Author

      Cindy Vine 7 years ago from Cape Town

      gee, thanks Pick up lines!

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