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Practical Ways To Move On After A Breakup

Updated on April 18, 2010

Anger, sadness, confusion and feelings of betrayal are all emotions and mental states that one can experience after going through a breakup. People are different, and how each of us deal with disappointments vary, including the dissolving of a romantic relationship. However, there are certain principles that a person can practically follow to deal with the harsh psychological impact of a breakup.

  • Being honest about your emotions is fundamental. Failure to acknowledge those feelings that can be so powerful is true self infliction. This is like a person who has a physical wound that bleeds profusely; denies the severity of it and in effect doesn't attend to it. What will happen to that wound? Infection? Gangrene even? No matter how ridiculously immature, intense or disturbing these feelings may be, it is always wise to be aware of them.

Illustration by JuSun (
Illustration by JuSun (
  • Physical activity is a great way to release inner tension. The mind and body are intertwined, and the state of one can influence the other. Physical activities can range from aerobic exercise, weightlifting, team sports, jogging and even dancing. Finding a physical activity that suits you is the key.
  • Be balanced in your assessments of yourself, your former partner and the relationship. It is quite common for a person to take mental extremes after a breakup, either taking the state of a victim or taking ultimate responsibility for the breakup. Both of these extremes are unhealthy and will prevent one from resolving inner issues. At times it can be helpful to have those questions that keep buzzing in your head answered by your ex. This in itself can aid you into having a realistic perception of the shortcomings of both you and your former partner.
  • Being reasonable with your Ex can be quite therapeutic. Getting even may give you a sense of power, but it won't heal you. Be kind to your ex regardless of the pain he/she has afflicted on you, and decide to forgive. Getting all worked up when having any interaction with your ex is a clear indication that you are not over him/her.
  • Surround yourself with positivity. Inspirational friends, good music, motivating movies and fun activities are all elements that will help you keep a healthy state of mind amidst the hurt and pain. Being positive doesn't mean pretending as if nothing is wrong, but it will prevent you from a downward spiral of depression.
  • "Laughter is good medicine!" Have a good joke, and allow your body and mind to relax. So much study has gone into laughter proving it to be an effective natural human behaviour that relieves stress and tension and even reduces depression.
  • Be decisive and avoid going in psychological circles. Realize that which you want, if it is to try to get your ex back or move on. Breakups can be a blessing, because it is a time to re-evaluate and understand yourself much better. Make a decision on what you believe is best for you and stick to it, even if it hurts.

Even though persons may be able to relate to the emotional pain that you go through, you are the one who can truly make account for what you feel. It is your responsibility to take care of your mind and heart, and that takes tremendous effort.  It is worth it.


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    • theblackedition profile image

      Shane Brown-Daniels 5 years ago from Jamaica

      @skyskater - so true about facing your own thoughts.

      @sniper007 - glad you liked it!

      @Shanique - Thanks!

    • Shanique E profile image

      Shanique E 5 years ago

      Excellent article, great points!

    • profile image

      Sniper007 6 years ago

      Awesome article!!I think it will do for me. let me try and put it into practice.

    • skyskater profile image

      skyskater 7 years ago

      This is the best article I have read so far! Nice one! People usually fail to understand that resisting a thought is not the best way to fight it, but to recognize and ignore it. Though, I still think that the mindset with which it would be understood makes the reader lack self-esteem, which can continue to make the person feel guilty for the breakup.

    • theblackedition profile image

      Shane Brown-Daniels 7 years ago from Jamaica

      My pleasure Jan. Looking forward to more of your work too.

    • Ask Jan profile image

      Ask Jan 7 years ago from

      Thanks for reading my article--I checked out your site--great articles. I will follow you and look forward to reading your articles.

    • theblackedition profile image

      Shane Brown-Daniels 7 years ago from Jamaica

      Thank you thevoice, and you are also welcome.

    • thevoice profile image

      thevoice 7 years ago from carthage ill

      beautiful hub thanks

    • theblackedition profile image

      Shane Brown-Daniels 7 years ago from Jamaica

      @ PrettyNikki - Thank you, I did my best with it.

      @ salt - You are very welcome.

    • salt profile image

      salt 7 years ago from australia

      thankyou that is lovely..

    • PrettyNikki profile image

      PrettyNikki 7 years ago from Miwaukee,WI

      Yes, Yes, yes, good hub advice