Pretty Is As Pretty Does
Pretty is as Pretty does
You've heard it all before
You are pretty, your hair is so long,
with your fair skin and exotic eyes
You were a Pretty Baby, so they said
As you grew your Pretty lips
and Pretty eyes, long hair, and fair skin caught the eyes
You are downright beautiful
they declared with your pretty way's
and you pretty clothes and eyes that glimmered when you smiled
Pretty is as Pretty does
While other's toiled and worked to maintain
you got by on your looks alone
Pretty Girl and Pretty Boy's
Don't they make the Prettiest couple
Her with her long hair up in coils and you
with your devil may care attitude,
Pretty Boy and Pretty Girl
While your Sister worked and toiled
You got by on your looks alone
Yet no one cared that you lacked ambition,
or that you could not read or write
Pretty is as Pretty always
Gets by on pretty looks and beautiful lips.
Until a time when Pretty looks are gone forever
This prose written in 2009 is defining Women who perhaps think that all that's necessary to get by in this World is possessing outer beauty. The ones that love to stereotype other Women in such a way that is demeaning. I wrote this for my Daughter really to let her know that strong beautiful Women should never be defined by just appearances alone. It is my way of giving props to Women everywhere, who achieve, and work hard to achieve. Kudos to you all.
The Intelligent Woman is a force be reckoned with.
Long before I knew or could identify with Feminism, I was one. I find great pleasure in being able to say "I" worked for, and earned the right to! The feeling of accomplishment, in knowing that my abilities, were not tied to housework, and kitchen duties, is one established at a very young age as I watched my Mother; a single Parent work to provide for my Sister and I. I always carried the image and the feeling it generated with me only later on recognizing it for what it was..., Pride.
Each of us has the innate ability. What we do with our ability, is up to us. Everyone wants to hear a beautiful story, of marrying the Prince having 2.5 Children, and the appropriate house broken well behaved large, medium, small dog, that doesn't chew shoes, and tackles robbers and Murderers. Television makes it seem so real. Moving into a Mansion, with a Maid and Prince Charming that works a corporate job, a High-level status of course.
The reality is this, most of us will never rub elbows or any other body part with someone rich and famous, nor will we defy the odds to win the Lottery, that ever dreamed of Pension plan most poor People hope for.
Common sense should tell us this, right?
Not really, in an attempt to delude ourselves into believing, that if we just buy the right clothes, the right shoes, one Day someone will recognize our value. The "Pretty Woman Syndrome!"
The Pretty Woman Syndrome
Taking creative Liberty with the Title of the Film starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere Written by J.F. Lawton. As well as the song that was written by Roy Orbison and Bill Dees Titled "Pretty Woman".
The Pretty Woman's Syndrome, as coined and defined by me for the sake of this article reflects the lack of substance placed on Women who tend to get by on their assets instead of a less demeaning less sexual attribute. A Woman possessing outward beauty isn't really appreciated for her intelligence. They tend to downplay a logical mind, in order to fit a mold or stereotype, mainly in order to influence the Male Population. Some are more capable than Men but are viewed as a non-viable Partner. It is rather difficult to define feminism, most Women to a certain extent are feminist a Woman who perhaps gets's her nails done on a weekly basis with the accompanying pedicure, that wears makeup and don's pretty feminine garb, yet goes out of her way to fight for Women's rights and is an activist for Humanity's sake is by definition a feminist. There is a preconceived notion or belief that feminist have no particular care for what they wear or that they don't color their hair or are feminine, that is a big misconception. I must admit sometimes I jokingly will use the term to cop out of dying my hair or other such diminutive actions. In reality, there is a little feminist in most of us.
Strong Women Intimidate Weak Men; they don't know what to do with them. One of my viewpoints I gave Dr. Farrah Gray Permission to use as the title of his New Book. "Strong Women Intimidate Weak Men". A view long held by most Women who defy the stereotype and are perfectly okay, with being Independent. I am by no means a hardcore Feminist, I do ascribe to the belief that Women are just as capable as Men, be it intellectually or Physically. I do, however, appreciate a Man who still opens my doors, tuck's in my chair, and follows good taste and breeding.
The Unique Male Who Finds Intelligence Sexy.
"What's your Sign Love; is it compatible to mine"?
I'm sapiosexual, are you? Well, it's not really a sign, it's more of a Mental stimulus. As defined it is simply being attracted to someone based on their highly intelligent mind. To the Sapiosexual, being motivated by intelligence is tantamount to being turned on by physical beauty.
It is after all the Year 2014, and yes, Women of uncompromising Intelligence are considered sexy as heck. Some Men are simply attracted to a Woman who can interact intelligently with Friends and Family, the shift in dynamics can be attributed to the current economic downfall. Yes, Men are Gold diggers also, when the chips are down a Man who is confident in his partners' ability, and earning capacity, will freely loosen the reigns and allow his Female Partner to take the reigns.
We also see a trend in Males who are more Educated, being attracted to Women solely on Intelligence alone. Gone almost.., are our Grandparents era, when the Woman was thought to be a catch based on her homemaking skills, or her ability to be an empty headed beautiful shell of herself, relying on her mate to make all the decisions and balance the check book.
A Woman who is beautiful, in the eyes of her Partner, Intelligent and also capable of running a household is a rare find. She is a very precious and rare gem. A commodity.
Commodity: As defined by Webster's Dictionary, is a product or service that is indistinguishable from ones manufactured or provided by competing companies. Let's face it from a business standpoint to a Male Partner we Women are viewed as goods, not necessarily in a bad way. We have what they want or need partnership,(goods), they quickly eliminate all competitive Goods, which to them do not meet quality review( competition). To arrive at quality merchandise(You).
A Woman who is strong in her opinions, Educated and Independent is often times mistaken for being Bossy or Bitchy. The traits acceptable in Men is not so attractive it appears in Women. If it is indeed true that our Character defines who we are, then Generally speaking the Male Population is lacking in Character as well as the necessary attributes, to accept a Woman as capable.
Beauty class and elegance Defining a First Lady
Women also will demean other Women who are capable, in an attempt to win the Male Favors. A strong Confident Woman does not nor is she interested in applying Feminine wiles. This being the case she is seen as Masculine in her approach. society and it's popular beliefs tend to sexualize Women who are Feminist, placing them in the category of Lesbian or Bisexual, or angry asexual Feminist.
Women who embody outward beauty, the strength of Character to stand up for equality, or to fight for a cause will constantly have their character questioned, or the much-misused term will be stereotyped as (lacking class). First Lady Michelle Obama, has had the misfortune of being labeled in just that way. As she related to Oprah Winfrey she was "wounded by critics who portrayed her as an angry black woman".
Feminist Worldwide applaud your ability, your brilliant and logical mind. We see in you what we hope we exemplify. Your staunch support for programs for the betterment of young People, your advocating, on behalf of the Homeless population, and making Communities Parents and Children aware that exercise and eating healthy is of vital importance.
Someone who is impassioned normally tends to reflect that in speech. A strong Woman will always be stereotyped, the only advice I can perhaps impart is one I learned from a very strong Woman, it worked fo me maybe it will also be an inspiration to you, this is it " Just let it roll off your shoulders".
The Definition of A Movement
Feminism definition. The doctrine — and the political movement based on it — that women should have the same economic, social, and political rights as men. Seems Fairly simple to grasp, the concept that each of us, Male, Female, regardless of Color, National Origin, Religion, Sexuality, were created equal. The Bible according to King James gives testament to this equality, as we first see Adam and Eve sharing the Garden of Eden equally. So why then, as Society evolved, we see Women being stripped of power and a right to certain freedoms, to the point where we now have to fight be recognized as equal under Man's Law.
Of all the definition's that aptly describes Feminism, I find the one that gives pause and should make People stop to think is the definition given by Historian and activist Cheris Kramarae whom boldly stated: "feminism is the radical notion that women are human beings".
It's difficult to understand how we managed to become a Society progressing backward, with Civility should come deeper understanding and progressive thinking. However, this is not the case. We have gone from an Ancient World that saw the right's of Women improve from maintaining a household to one in which she plays a major role in Leadership and Power, to one in which, certain Political Affiliations would see us dropped from the workforce, and our rights to procreate or not procreate be taken away, an environment which if these strong held beliefs ever manifested, would see to the rape, abuse, and single Parent Female run household perishing, Women and Children would be forced into a Welfare system, that sees funding becoming meager, and incapable of sustaining or providing for the poor and disenfranchised. It would see a Society in which Women perhaps could not be dictators of their own lives, and ownership of Property would by default to the Male seen as the Head of the household.
Matriarchal Society: The Ancient Intellectual Woman.
Hatshepsut—the daughter of a general who usurped Egypt's throne at the age of 20, she reigned as both King and Queen, for 22 Years.
Cleopatra - evidence show's that the female line of inheritance was still intact in the New Kingdom (1550-1070 BCE) and, though not as strong, Matrilineal descent in Ancient Egypt persisted even through the Ptolomaic period (323-30 BCE), ending finally with the death of Queen Cleopatra VII.
Women have led the Feminist movement for generations, too many to mention here. However several Key figures have led the battle cry vociferously. One such unforgettable Woman Elizabeth Baumfree, (Sojourner Truth) her association with Frederick Douglas, paved the way for other black Women to fight for equality. Harriet Tubman, and Ida B. Wells to name a few.
The Journey Into Civil Rights, A Woman's Liberation Movement:
Sojourner Truth an African-American was born Elizabeth Baumfree around 1779 in New York the self-given name, her first step to declaring Independence, and the right to be recognized. As her chosen name indicated she fought for truth and equality not only of the races but also to be recognized as a Woman. She was an abolitionist and women's rights activist. Truth was born into slavery in Swartekill, New York, but escaped with her infant daughter to freedom in 1826. She is remembered for her powerful speech on racism, "Ain't I a Woman?" which was delivered in 1851 at the Ohio Women's Rights Convention.
Sojourner continued to tour Ohio from 1851 to 1853, working closely with Robinson to publicize the antislavery movement in the state. As Truth's reputation grew and the abolition movement gained momentum, she drew increasingly larger and more hospitable audiences. Even in abolitionist circles, some of Truth's opinions were considered radical. She sought political equality for all women and chastised the abolitionist community for failing to seek civil rights for black women as well as men. She openly expressed concern that the movement would fizzle after achieving victories for black men, leaving both white and black women without suffrage and other key political rights. http://www.biography.com/people/sojourner-truth-9511284#synopsis
Harriet Tubman: Most of us who learned American History, know the Harriet Tubman who stood for Social and Colonial Justice and helped to free slaves by way of the "Underground Railroad". However Harriet Tubman the Feminist, we learned very Little about. Under the tutelage of Sojourner Truth and Frederick Douglas, Harriet would become an Inspirational subject as it defined Feminism. Harriet became not only the First Woman to lead an Armed assault during the Civil War, but the first Black Woman. When the War ended Harriet established the first home for the aged, on property she purchased, Land ownership was unheard of and not acceptable, land ownership by a colored Woman, in the 1860s was not the thing. Women rights have come a long way since the 1800's. What we take for granted was a journey in futility at times.
Ida Wells: Although she played more of a Major role in the Civil Rights Movement, very Little was taught about Ida Wells, a Former School Teacher turned Journalist, Ida was born In Mississippi, in the Year 1862, although born into slavery, Ida led a somewhat privileged life, Her Mother was a much sought after cook, and her Father a Carpenter. Being talented gave Ida's Parents the advantage other Slaves did not have, they were able to profit from their talents as well as continue to hold onto and keep their Offspring's together. Ida unwittingly became a Civil Rights Leader by refusing to give up her seat on a Train to a Caucasian passenger. She lobbied against Lynching Laws and was a strong advocate for Women's Rights.
Margaret Sanger- When Margaret founded the National Birth Control League, now known as Planned Parenthood. I doubt she had in mind the direction the movement has taken. Founded because of her belief that a Women should have a right to decide her fate as it dictated bearing Children. Margaret provided Education as well as Birth Control options to Women, regarding preventing unwanted pregnancies.
Another Rebel with a cause against the suffrage of Women was Emma Goldman, she was instrumental in smuggling French Letters, (Condoms), into the United States from France at a time when Birth Control was illegal.
A Look At Women Who Have Inspired Today's Feminist.
Have You Lost Your (bleeping) Mind? You have me confused perhaps with your Mother!
Am I not a Woman with all the parts that define attribute?
I won't cook or clean or wash your clothes,
Nor will I engage in a 90/10 partnership
I demand a fair and equal exchange.
I'll toil from 9-5 when at home we end our Day,
don't look to me every day, to prepare your meals and bathe the young.
while you sit and lament the hardship of your Day.
I'm neither a housewife nor a slave.
Your part you will do to help maintain.
(Juliet Stewart Austin)
Starting with the 1960s a most interesting thing occurred, while black People were fighting for their Rights and Freedoms to be recognized as Human beings, capable and worthy. Women, of all color, Nationality and might I add Nobility, were also doing the same. Had I been there, I like to think I too might have added my voice to such a worthwhile cause. "Women's Liberationists; saw women as an oppressed group and demanded radical change. Arguing that ‘the personal is political’, women began talking about who cleaned the house, made the coffee at work, or looked after the kids. They discussed health, sexual behavIor, and how women were expected to dress. Matters that had not been seen as political were suddenly the subject of debate". The Women's Liberation Movement: ( 2012) Megan Cook. In truth, the Feminist Movement started well before the 1960s but did not garner much weight to project it to the point whereby Women were given much consideration. This, of course, would not have impacted Black Women or Women who fell below the poverty Level. Its major proponents for the rights of Women were the Rich and those considered of noble Birth/ Gentility.
The 1960s saw Women entering the Workforce, due in part to the Cold War, and Men Dying on the Battlefield or returning home with long term injuries. Since Slavery was abolished, Women who were once Homemakers or entitled, left home and sought Employment.
The Federal Governments approval of Birth Control, in my opinion, had nothing to do with viewing Women as equals, or respect for Reproductive Rights, but more to do with maintaining Women in the Workforce.
The start of the Sexual Revolution can be attributed to Betty Friedman, the Author of " The Feminine Mystique". 80% of Women were now fitted with birth control and were defining a new Generation of Women who demanded to be recognized as Individuals, apart and not belonging to their Husbands. This period also saw Women demanding Equal Pay for equal Work. A theory which is still not recognized Today, by all Employers.
The Gender Biased Role Of The "Good Man".
I recently saw a post regarding finding a Good Man, tongue in cheek.
How to find a good Man, a Feminist View.
1. "Make sure you are a good Woman" Author unknown. However, I give credence to him/her. What does that mean? It doesn't simply mean you dress and act the part, anyone can act, even a prostitute can act interested in a John.
What that statement means is you rely on your own personal growth by Working, Educating yourself, not necessarily College, some of us are not equipped for College Level courses, however, trade Schools are also a good alternative. There are a wealth of resources available, volunteering with a company in exchange for learning marketable skills is another great idea.
Only a few People ever find someone Financially stable, Intellectual, and hard working to care for them and if you are honest you have to admit there is an equitable exchange. Looks, and sex appeal in exchange for Wealth and financial wellbeing.
2. Communicating your expectations, and not relying on the fact that all Men are possibly like your Father or other decent Male you are familiar with is another good Idea.
3. Any good Woman will tell you, self-reliance helps to eliminate, illuminate, and disregard, those so called good Men, from the ones that are not viable dating material, in other words, the ones you wouldn't take home to Daddy.
Here again, we see Women objectifying Men and placing them into a role of Bread Winner, they are not viewed as Partners or mates, but as meal tickets. When we start to realize that we also have the ability to provide and be role Models for our Children and that relationships are based on helping each other instead of one partner being a stepping stone. We will never progress past the Pretty Woman's Syndrome.
Fighting For A Cause That Predates A Civilized Society: Denigrating the Intellectual Women.
Ancient Civilization has taught us that Women were once Rulers and Leaders, there is, however, a commonality with each Generation. Women have had to fight to be recognized as capable of, both maintaining a Kingdom/Household, and Intelligent enough to work alongside their Male Counterparts.
In any Society as with any cause worth fighting for there will always be a few who will defy the odds, to become Leaders; that will leave a positive impact for Generations to follow. However, a Society based on equality will see all People treated and afforded similarly in their ability to achieve, to live, work and care for its future Generations alongside each other. Which brings me back to my original point, Women throughout the Years have fought to be defined by their abilities. The Pretty Woman's Syndrome one would think would be laid to rest by now. Unfortunately, there are still Women who rely on looks to survive, lacking the required qualifications to ensure Financial or Personal Growth.
We cannot place Total blame on these Women as long as Men allow for and does not show appreciate for a Woman who is capable, and equal in achievement, we will continue to see a Generation of Women, conforming to the stereotype, and so again here we are in the twentieth Century, adapting and regressing to the Pretty Woman Syndrome. The Civil Rights Movement and our Constitutional Rights argued over ad nauseam, and though Women have and continue to advance under the Yes Act,(Affirmative Action), it's a difficult climb, one in which Educational achievements defines and Stereotype accomplished Women as Lacking in Femininity. Placing her at an advantage employment wise, yet in the eyes of a certain segment of Society, lacking the essential or desired skills to be viable Partners.
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What do you know about Feminism?
What Factor that Led to Feminist Movement?
Liberation The Women's Movement (2012) Megan Cook
Sojourner Truth Biography: http://www.biography.com/people/sojourner-truth-9511284#synopsis