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Prince Charming or the Big Bad Wolf? A Chapter From My Online Dating Experiences

Updated on July 21, 2010

Chat Rooms

Let me start by saying that after several years of frequenting chat rooms, I found one that fit my style and personality. The people in that room were in my age group, and I soon learned that they all pretty much stayed in this particular room. It was a nice mix of men and women, many of whom had a great sense of humor. These folks were from all over the country, but mostly from the East Coast.

Some of the screen names I encountered, which I won’t divulge here, were funny. I noticed that women who had names with sexual connotations attracted a fair share of men to engage in conversation. It was fun to watch the interactions.

After becoming a regular in the room and comfortable with the people in it, I decided maybe it would be fun to change my name and profile. I have to admit that I was quite creative. Whatever name I came up with, I would make the profile match the name. My reasons for doing it were simply to have fun. It was fun to see what kind of reactions I would get. I did not change my personality, however, and some of the folks were able to guess who I really was. We all shared a lot of laughs once I was ‘outed’. After doing this for several months, it began getting old, so I reverted back to my real name.

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So, did I meet anyone in person from that experience? Yes, actually, I did. There was one fella who had a fictional action figure’s name, and I swear, the women adored him. He was a huge flirt, and had the wildest sense of humor. After a long period of time and much talking, he and I decided to meet. He lived in a town in another state where I had relatives, so I thought, perfect. The arrangement was made, and I made the ten-hour trip. After arriving, he and I went to dinner and had a great time. The night was long, and we parted agreeing to meet once more before I headed back home. I stayed at my sister-in-law’s house. She and I talked about my experience and shared a lot of laughs over it. She said I was a brave soul to agree to meet someone so far away. I told her I felt a degree of safety in doing so, as I knew she lived in the same town and that I would be staying with her. I think if that weren’t the case, I probably would not have been so brave and made the long trip. Although it was a daring thing to do, I was comfortable enough to believe that I wasn’t going to meet a rapist or something, plus I had the added comfort level of having a safety net right there in the same town. My adventure eventually came to an end, and I retreated back to my home behind the safety of my computer. 

So, after settling in, I signed on and went to my chat room. Some of the women had gotten wind of the meeting, and wanted to know all the details. I could sense that some were jealous, as it was very apparent that they had a huge crush on this guy. I shared what I could, leaving out details. Of course, when he entered the chat room, he and I were teased unmercifully. We had a great laugh over the situation. We are still friends after ten years and talk once in a while.

The Main Event

There was another guy who frequented the chat room, and he too, was a huge flirt. I noticed that while he was there, he always talked to everyone around me, and never really addressed me personally for conversation other than to say hi. One day, I sent him an email and stated that I was curious as to why he didn’t want to engage in conversation with me. He claimed he didn’t realize he was doing that. And then, everything changed.

We talked online for about two years, and I learned that he was a self-employed plumber by trade and divorced with grown children. It got to the point where he wanted to meet me and take me on a date. I agreed, but for the longest time I wouldn’t let him come to my home. We always met at a public place. After doing this several times, I realized he was not out to harm me, physically anyway, so I told him it would be ok for him to pick me up at my home. This began the third and fourth year of a relationship. We had a lot in common, mainly our love of flea markets, both selling and buying. It wasn’t long after we began dating that I allowed him to move in with me. Prior to that, he had never invited me to his home. He always came to mine, but I never questioned it. Things went along well, and in time, he met my family. I found out much later, after the fact, that my family didn’t quite like him.

The Hook

What was the attraction? Well, he was very sociable. He had a wonderful sense of humor. When we did our selling at the fleamarket, everyone knew him. He talked and joked with everyone. We'd walk around holding hands, and he would tell people how happy he was to have me, and gee, isn't Trish beautiful? He was a hard worker at home. He was a great cook. He loved animals. Our chemistry seemed to be a perfect match.

The Peeling of the Onion

It became apparent after a few months, that he didn't always have work. He would have a job here and there, but nothing steady. In his defense, he did give me money when he had a paying job. Further along into the relationship, he revealed more of his life to me. He claimed he had a new house being built in PA, and he promised he would take me to see it.  Every time I questioned when would we be going, his reply was, oh, it's so far into the woods, I'm still waiting for the electricity, road and water lines to be put in.  Ok, I thought. That made sense. Then, he started talking about wanting to add on to my home and have a garage built. Very lofty ideas.

Next, he claimed he was a scuba diver. I asked him to show me his equipment but he told me that he kept his equipment at the Naval Air Station near my home, and that any time he wanted to go diving, all he had to do was give the security guards a call, give them his clearance code and they would let him retrieve his equipment so he could go diving. In another conversation, he told me he owned a helicopter.  I forget where he said he kept it; only that it was 'being repaired'.

The Onion: Online Dating Streamlines Rejection for Women

The Beginning of the End

Toward the end of our fourth year together, I started noticing he was chatting with a person I didn't recognize. We kept our computers side by side, so it was easy for me to see what he was doing. I also began to notice, after arriving home from work and walking by him to get to the bedroom, that he would suddenly minimize the screen. This happened quite often. I was finally getting suspicious, and asked him who was he talking to, and why did he keep minimizing the screen every time I saw him talking to someone? His reply was oh, just some lady from our chat room, and we were done talking.. Hmmm. Coincidentally? During this time, our sex life diminished quite a bit. I got excuses about his back hurting from his cancer operation, or some other ache or pain. He then began asking me could I get boxes from work, as we needed to clean out the shed and get things ready to sell at the flea market. It sounded like a good idea to me, so sure, I said, and home came the boxes. Even my daughter contributed.

Around October, my old Chevy was on its last legs. After discussing with him what to do, he convinced me I had to get another vehicle. Well, I knew that, but I still wasn't sure if I should get another used car or just keep fixing the old one. After going over all the pros and cons of my dilemma, I decided on buying a new vehicle. I've always loved trucks. Off we went to the Chevy dealer, where I found a red Chevy S10. Perfect. He was as excited as I was, and long after the fact, I found out why. He would often ask to take my truck to do errands or go visit his friends (who, by the way, I never met). I found out later that he was lying to people, telling them it was his new truck. Well, no wonder, because all he owned was a very old beat up van. About a month or so after I purchased my truck, I came home from work to see a strange van in the yard. I wondered who was there. He came out of the house and said did you see the van? I said yes, who's here? He said nobody, it's mine. I went to the Ford dealer and bought it. What? I said how did you manage that? He said he traded in his old van and he was able to get credit on this stripped, no frills, brand new one. One thing though, he said. I'm short $400, could you loan it to me? Well, being so in love, I said of course, and I gave him a check. I found out much later that he was, in fact, jealous that I could afford a new truck, and he didn't want some woman to look better than he did. Hah!

The year of our demise, he informed me we would be having his family to my home for Christmas. I was thrilled beyond belief! I thought, finally! I'm going to meet his family.

So, about a week before Christmas, I arrived home from work and noticed his truck was gone, not a big deal. When I entered the house, I immediately noticed his computer was missing. Puzzled, I remembered he had been talking about moving it into our bedroom, so I thought, ok, he must have moved it. When I went into my bedroom, there was no computer. How very odd, I thought. So then, on a hunch, I opened my closet, only to see nothing of his there. No clothes, shoes, nothing, zero, zip, nada! I thought, ok, he must have left me a note somewhere, but no, I did not find any note anywhere. He simply vanished, along with the $400 I loaned him for his new truck. I was completely baffled. We hadn't been fighting, we rarely did. And, there were no issues between us that I was aware of.

I came to find out, through his brother, that he had moved in with the woman he had been talking to online. Was I shocked? Yes, because he never gave me a clue that he was unhappy. Should I have surmised things were coming to an end? Probably. Other things I found out? That everything he told me was a lie. He did not ever scuba dive, did not own a house in PA, did not own a helicopter, and was not divorced. When I said to his brother, I don't get it, he said although he wasn't divorced, they hadn't lived together for the past 17 years. I told his brother that he told me your mom was coming up from VA for Christmas, he said, what? Our mom doesn't live in VA, she lives right here in Jersey. Then I told him how I had so wanted to see his house in PA, and his brother said Trish? all my brother owned were the clothes on his back and his old van. He doesn't have a pot to piss in. Oh, and the boxes I so willingly brought home? I helped him move out!

The Lesson

As I mentioned, never once did I consider these things to be red flags, till near the very end. Was I stupid? Too gullible? Too much in love? Or, was he just so good at lying? I think my problem was in the fact that I tended to believe the best about people, which I think a lot of us do. The best lesson I got from this? I've become more cynical about men, and I've learned to ask questions, and if I get dubious answers, I just keep asking till the answers are proven to be truthful.

Footnote: A couple of years after he left, I received an email from his girlfriend, who was now the wife. He did finally get a divorce and married this woman. She wrote to inform me that he passed away, and she thought I'd like to know. I asked from what?, she said liver cancer. Apparently, that was the one truth he told me. She then went on to ask me how was she going to survive without him? I said to her, listen, while I'm sorry for your loss, you have fond memories of him, but I do not, so please, do not contact me anymore. I never heard from her again.

This hub was spurred by KCC Big Country's hub, My Crazy Online Experience. I had commented to her hub, and she suggested that my comment should become a hub :)


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    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      LOL LOL! Oh Micky! you're a nut, but a very nice one :)

      Well, let's see. If you want to find me, you can go to Google earth LOL.

      I see you totally get what I went through. I even amaze myself to now realize how naive I was!

      It's been a lesson well-learned for me. On the downside, whereas I had always given people the benefit of the doubt, I will no longer do that. This experience has turned me a bit cynical. The good news is I will not take anything at face value any longer and always, always will ask questions and demand proof if I have to :)

      Thanks for starting my day with a chuckle!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 8 years ago

      Hi Trish! My name is, uh, Marvin. I've seen your avatar a few times and I have to say I'm impressed! How about we get our avatars together?

      When I get back from this "round the world tour" I'm taking in my yacht, perhaps we can have dinner. Of course we should wait until my chauffeur is available. While on the sailing expedition my chauffeur has been doing some part-time modeling. Where do you live? No matter I can fly to you in my personal jet within minutes.

      I know! What do you say we go to France for "ete"?

      Listen- I'm a little short of cash due to a few acquisitions lately. Could you mail me a few hundred bucks until my accounts get straightened out?

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Hi Shalini,

      My guess is that it's simply because I haven't written anything in quite a while, nor am I leaving comments very often as of late. But, I'm still here and still thinking of what I want to put together next.

      I'd like to believe there is someone out there for me, but if not, that's ok too.

      Thank you for such a sweet comment, it put a smile on my face.

    • Shalini Kagal profile image

      Shalini Kagal 8 years ago from India

      Hi Trish - I missed this earlier - can't think how! This must have been tough! But you know what? Through all the hurt, you're the one who's come up smelling like roses! Trusting, loving, caring, loyal - while a dash of discerning might be good, don't change Trish - because there's someone out there made for a heart as large and loving as yours!

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Hi ReMarkaBlogs,

      I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thanks so much for your lovely comment, I am truly flattered.

      Benny? quite possibly it was his middle name :)

      Again, thanks for commenting. A girl could get used to these warm comments, so feel free to read more.

    • ReMarkaBlogs profile image

      ReMarkaBlogs 8 years ago

      I'm glad I finally read this, I am doubly impressed.

      First, thanks for being so honest, you really laid out your experience for us-the doubts, blind spots, the growing realizations etc so calmly and without rancor. It speaks volumes about what a good person you are. I think this Hub will help a lot of readers through its lifetime.

      Secondly, you are such a gifted writer, this is so well written. Great job.Thanks for sharing your story.

      Btw, are you sure his name wasn't Benny?

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Hi Zsuzsy,

      Well, I don't know, but I'm glad you did :).  I seem not to be having a whole lot of traffic lately, and am a bit disappointed in my last hub A Personal High School Reunion 42 Years Later.  It was a hub I put out last year in 4 parts, and it didn't do well, so I condensed it all into one hub.  I felt it was a lot better flowing in the new one, but who knows.  I'm just hoping the Hub challenge had a lot to do with not as many comments.

      In any case, thanks for posting the thread, this was a great idea.  As always, nice to see you and thanks for commenting.

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 8 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Trish, I wonder why I didn't comment on this great hub. I remember reading it when you first published it. I just reread it and no matter what, a jerk is a jerk and stays a jerk.

      Hope you're well kindest regards


    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi James,

      I've never heard that said.  A very wise man, your dad.  I would guess the same could be said to a woman :)

      I'm glad you enjoyed the story, thanks so much for stopping by and commenting.

    • James A Watkins profile image

      James A Watkins 9 years ago from Chicago

      This is quite the story. I am sure I enjoyed reading it more than you enjoyed living it. When I was about 18 my dad said to me one day, "Don't find your women in bars, son. Find them in church." I asked him why? He said, "The girls in church will do everything, too. But not with everybody."

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      LOL,,,hi Mighty Mom!

      You make me laugh.  I love your expression 'lust-induced haze'.  I can say I've never heard that one before :)

      His stories over the top?  absolutely.  I actually think my thought process at the time I heard his stories was just that, like an 'oh no, he must be joking' kind of thing.  However, that must be where my lust-induced haze kicked in LOL.  Apparently, I wanted to believe him, for whatever reason.

      I've often heard that you can judge a man by how he treats his family, especially his mother.  Too bad I totally ignored that part of the process.  Anyway, it's all ancient history now, and in some ways, I'm a better person because I went through that.

      Always nice to see you, and thanks for your comments.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 9 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      Hello Trish! This is quite a story. As soon as I read about the boxes I knew he was using them to move out. Good riddance.

      I agree with those above who say you can meet a jerk anywhere. There's nothing better or worse about first connecting with someone online vs. at work, church, or in a bar (I met Hubby in a bar, also, through mutual friends!!!). In the end, I'm glad your experience wasn't worse than it was. His stories of helicopters and scuba diving seem a bit over the top. But not overly far-fetched.

      One thing I've trained myself to do is to insist on meeting the family up front. You can tell a lot about a guy by how he interacts with his mom, dad and siblings! And our own families and friends can often spot defects we, in our lust-induced haze, are blinded to.

      Great read. It's healing to be able to put our foibles into prose, isn't it! MM

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Dear muley,,

      You keep making me smile.  No, I do not look like an ivy covered house, but I would love to live in it.  Pretty?  As I look back at my life, you can say that.  Not to brag, but I've never lacked male attention.

      If you care to, you can read my hub which speaks about losing my hubby.

      As to finding a mate online, I can say I have found romance, but nothing lasting.  Bars?  those days are long gone.  Not that I have anything against bars, because you can meet a jerk anywhere.  In my own case, I'd have to give bars a thumbs up, because that's where I met my husband.  The difference being, a mutual friend brought him there for me to meet, and the rest, as they say, is history.

      Thanks for the good luck wishes, I can use it :)  I really appreciate your comments, thanks again for visiting my ivy covered house :)

    • muley84 profile image

      Michael A Muehleisen 9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Yipe! I guess you are brave, sorry to hear about your husband. You are smart and presumably pretty (I'm assuming you don't look like a ivy covered house). Probably not a good idea to find a mate on line though, instead I recommend you troll the bars. lol good luck!

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi muley,

      You're right, on both counts :)  I even amaze myself sometimes with the things I think.  I think that in some ways, everyone has a bit of softness in the head, even if they don't admit it or even realize it.

      I've been called brave before, and in a way I suppose that's true.  I've carried on after the deaths of my parents and my hubby, and survived having a gun pressed against my neck.  I've never looked at myself that way before.

      I was very fortunate, in so many ways, that at the very least, I was never physically harmed.  Emotionally, well that's another story.

      I'm glad to see you here, and thanks for commenting.

    • muley84 profile image

      Michael A Muehleisen 9 years ago from Miami,FL

      Trish, you sound like you have a soft heart, and are soft in the head.(i am soft in the head too) You are brave, I am glad nothing real bad happened to you.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi R. Blue! You just put a huge smile on my face. That's so funny! And no, since I no longer work a 2nd job, I cannot bail you out. I suggest you turn to the government, they seem to be bailing out a lot of people these days :) But oh, on second thought, can you show me your tricked out, $2,000,000 race car? :)

      See? This is, I think, where I tend to fall victim. Instead of trusting my first reaction, I immediately give things a second thought to justify why I shouldn't be so skeptical. Hmmm, I think I just learned something about myself.

      I'm sure this is a very common scenario. I wish it hadn't happened to me, but it did. My heart didn't harden, but I've learned to be a bit more discerning. However, when it comes to chronic liars, those people apparently take longer to figure out. For some people, anyway.

      Thanks so much for your fun comment, it brought a smile to my day, and welcome to HubPages.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Research Analyst,

      I hope I've saved someone.  Sadly, there are many men who choose to live off of women.  In the spirit of fairness, I'm sure there are many women who live off men as well.  They are the leeches of our society, and are very adept at singling out vulnerable people to prey upon.

      I'd say generally, we meet more people who are genuine than not.  Personally, I see no point in lying.  It makes absolutely no sense to me. A lot of the people in chat rooms love to put out false information, develop online relationships, then proceed to the point where they want to meet whoever it is they befriended.  Hello!  What are they thinking?  I had one occasion where I agreed to meet a guy who drove down from NY to meet me.  When I got there, I spotted him standing outside his car, and I kept driving, pretending I didn't see him.  He was absolutely nothing like the picture he sent me.  Not even close.  So who's kidding who?

      Anyway, life goes on and hopefully we become the wiser :)

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    • R. Blue profile image

      R. Blue 9 years ago from Right here

      Trish...its an old story told by so many...don't let it harden you....leave yourself open to possibilities.....but don't ignore the obvious.....really girl...he minimized the screen every time you walked by????....and by the way...I'm in bad need of $400.....think you could help a fellow hubber out????? LOL

    • Research Analyst profile image

      Research Analyst 9 years ago

      Thanks for sharing your story, I think it will help other women who may unknowingly get caught up in a similar situation, it also appears to me that this guy had found a way to live off the women he met in the chat rooms, its true when they say you do not really know a person even after many years of spending time with them.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Pam,

      Well, love is blind, yes? LOL  It certainly was in my case.  Relationships are supposed to be partnerships, and I guess some people are better at it than others.  I need to trust my gut more, because towards the end, definitely the seeds of doubt were sown.  My thought about that relationship today is I wish I had found him out before he high-tailed it out of my life LOL

      That's all I hope to do here is offer hope, and maybe, just maybe someone will listen.  If it even helps only one person, that's a good thing in my book. 

      Thanks for your sympathy and stopping by :) 

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Diana,

      I have no idea what he may have said to his family.  I never met them.  I only talked to his brother online, and he'd only tell me so much, but after the fact.

      No, I'm not bitter, just hugely disappointed and the fact that I was taken for a fool.  Live and learn, right?

      Thanks so much for stopping by :)

    • Pam Roberson profile image

      Pam Roberson 9 years ago from Virginia

      Trish, what a story! I don't think you should fault yourself for trusting someone you loved. Whether two people are living together or married, it's a partnership, and we always want to give our partner the benefit of doubt. I'm so sorry you went through such a horrible experience! But I thank you for sharing it here because it was very interesting to read. I'm sure it will make lots of people think twice before entering into serious (intimate) relationships with others online. ;)

    • dianacharles profile image

      dianacharles 9 years ago from India

      Hi Trish...what I liked about this whole story was the came out of it stronger...I dont see bitterness in you or that it turned you into a man-hater. I think pathological liars can't help themselves and when they feel their lies are going to trip them up, they run for the hills. I wonder how much he lied to his wives...

      KUDOS to you . wonderful hub.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi fergie,

      Thanks very much.  It really is hard for me to believe someone could lie so convincingly for so long.  It's beyond my comprehension.  Even today I sometimes shake my head in amazement.

      I truly don't know what the criteria would be to 'sniff' those types out.  Perhaps learning about body language or something would help LOL.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    • fergie9 profile image

      fergie9 9 years ago

      What a great story. We never know about people. Thank you.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Marisue,

      It's just another chapter from the pages of my life.  He did have other good qualities, it's just sad the bad ones ruled him.

      You're right, still learning.  One is never too old to learn, that's for sure.

      Thanks for your kind words :)

    • marisuewrites profile image

      marisuewrites 9 years ago from USA

      I'm sorry it didn't work out, but the true gift was his absence! Well, maybe not entirely, I know you have memories of good moments. He just couldn't give based on truth. He missed out the most because you are a very giving person.

      Life is full of learning, and that's never a fault. =)) you are good to the bone.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Laughing Mom,

      You're right, of course.  It just sucks (pardon the French), that it happened and I had to go through it.  So, I just put things into perspective and just remember the good times we had, because we did have some.  The rest I chalk up to a lesson learned.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting :)

    • Laughing Mom profile image

      Laughing Mom 9 years ago

      And KCC was right, trish. Don't beat yourself up. We all make mistakes and decisions we realize in hindsite we should have never made. You learned from it. That's the key.

      Thank you for sharing it with us!

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi G-Ma!  Nice to see you :)

      Yes, I know I'm not alone.  I'd like to hear your tales of your online experiences!  I wonder if yours and mine would match at some point, like when our stuffed cabbage dinners got ruined LOL

      Hugs back to you!  Thanks for your concern.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well you certainly aren't alone here...when the time is right I have a few choice ones ...but till then ssshhhhh.....Glad you are ok...G-Ma :O) Hugs & Peace

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Jaspal, First, welcome to HubPages! I think you hit the nail on the head. I certainly underplayed any faults, and yes, he was fun, affectionate and just plain nice most of the time.

      I don't mistrust the whole world. I've just learned to be more cautious with my heart.

      I certainly imagine there are women like that out there as well. That trait can be in either gender.

      Nice meeting you, and I hope you start writing. Thanks for finding me and leaving a comment :)

    • Jaspal profile image

      Jaspal 9 years ago from New Delhi, India

      I'm relatively new here and this is the first hub of yours that I've read Trish. Two thoughts came to mind as I read your interesting story.

      One: Such imposters or chronic liars are everywhere. Not only on line. They live way beyond their means, kind courtesy trusting friends. Sometimes you realise that the person is a liar and a leech, but you underplay that aspect and carry on putting up with them because in every other way they are so nice, pleasant and sociable. And you like to believe that they will mend their ways.

      Two: They can be of either gender, not just men.

      I'd say, be cautious, but don't distrust the whole world. Life wouldn't be worth living then.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      You're right Cindy. And heaven knows, I 'knew it all' and thought they were just talking out of their hats. I'd think to myself, what do they know? I know what I'm doing. Hah! surprise, surprise LOL

      Thanks for stopping back :)

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 9 years ago from Cape Town

      Yeah, that's the problem. The other people can see them straight away for what they are, but sit back and watch for fear of being accused of interferring.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Randy,

      Well, that was the problem.  I didn't see any red flags until it was too late.  The folks who sensed they didn't like him from the get-go could only say to me it was just a feeling they had that something wasn't quite right.  I, on the other hand, couldn't figure out what it was, until it was too late.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Wow, is this Christoph I see?  Where have you been? LOL

      Yes, I survived, and the good news is that I'm a lot wiser.  So, in that sense, guess you could say it was a life lesson.  I only wish I had this barometer when I was much younger :)

      Thanks for visiting and commenting!  I've missed seeing you.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Cindyvine,

      Yes, I never had a clue.  My guess is that I just took his behavior as his 'normal'.  Never guessed it wasn't.  I was too wrapped up in believing I was in love.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Sherri,

      When all is said and done, it sure seemed like it was all planned.  But you say no.  Interesting.  I just wish I could be as perceptive as some people, because as you know, there were those who voiced their opinion after their first meeting with him.  Something didn't sit right with those people.  Me?  I totally missed it LOL

      Thanks for commenting dear friend.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 9 years ago from Near the Ocean

      Whoa Trish. Sounds like something from tv. Gotta watch those red flags don't we. Listen to those inner voices. I hope you are still as open hearted as you were before "HIM."

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 9 years ago from St. Louis

      Wow, Trish. what a crazy experience! It must have been a shock. I'm glad you got over it and were able to go on with your life. What a jerk.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 9 years ago from Cape Town

      WoW! There are so many strange people out there, you never know when you might meet one and whether or not they are actually telling you the truth!

    • Sally's Trove profile image

      Sherri 9 years ago from Southeastern Pennsylvania

      I knew this story for many years.  I am glad you share it here.  The pathological liar is not easy to detect.  He/it normal...loving, attentive, quixotic.  Too good to be true.  A predator lining himself up for the prey. Although, I don't think he has the foresight for this. He doesn't plan it, it just happens.

      Awesome Hub, Trish.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Elena,

      Gee, should I send this off to Hollywood? LOL

      It is sad that many people feel the need to pretend to be something they're not.  And even when you see the good, there can still be something false or evil lurking underneath.  This is not to say I will never trust again, but I will certainly not take everything I hear as gospel.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

    • Elena. profile image

      Elena. 9 years ago from Madrid

      Hello, Trish -- This read like a semi sort of romance slash terror movie script. I think you did learn a lesson, but it makes me a bit sad that this type of experience makes us generally more suspicious about others and about their reasons and we cease to just see the good in them.  With good reason, too, but it's shit sad (excuse my French) that good, trusting people get played for fools and the consequence of that is that there are less and less good people every day. I know I'm not that "good" myself to begin with, but you know what I mean, right? 

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Feline!

      I can look at it two ways, I suppose.  Either four years wasted, or time well spent to learn a very long lesson :)

      I am still trying, even after this long time, to figure out what it was exactly that I didn't see, or, more than likely dismissed and didn't want to believe. 

      In any case, I hope this story helps even one person.  Apparently, you can be with someone a very long time and still not have a clue as to how they really are.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting! 

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi KCC!

      Yes, I finally got around to finishing it.  I was without a computer for a week, and just got it back up and running Thursday night.  It was driving me nuts LOL.

      You're very welcome, and thanks for putting links to mine in yours.  Very much appreciated :)

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi RK!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting, glad you liked it.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Hi Wei, Nice to meet you, and how nice of you to say! I'm glad you liked it.

      Welcome to HubPages!

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 9 years ago

      Thanks C.C.!

      Yes, he turned out to be an a-hole.  In 20-20 hindsight, I can see he was a pathological liar.  It makes me wonder, do all pathological liars have that skill?  Coming off as 'all that'?  I haven't had a serious relationship ever since, nor do I want one.  If one presents itself, I'll do some serious thinking about it.

      Enjoy your Easter too, and thanks for commenting.

    • profile image

      Feline Prophet 9 years ago

      How much do we really know about anyone? Having said that, I'm glad that he didn't stay long enough for you to discover that his life was a big lie. Thanks for sharing, Trish.

    • KCC Big Country profile image

      Karen Curtis 9 years ago from Central Texas

      Oh, Trish!! I'm so very glad you finally completed this hub! It deserved a life of it's own, not buried in the comments of my hub. You did a beautiful job on this piece. Thank you for the mention and the links at the end and I have now gone back to my hub and put links back to yours.

    • RKHenry profile image

      RKHenry 9 years ago from Neighborhood museum in Somewhere, USA

      Very well written!

    • wei654231 profile image

      wei654231 9 years ago

      Prince Charming or the Big Bad Wolf A Chapter From My Online Dating Experiences

      Very well written. You have some great information contained in this hub. Thanks for writing it.

    • profile image

      C. C. Riter 9 years ago

      What a story girl. i am so glad that you told it too. What a shit of a, uh, mouse he was. I can't blame you for being suspicious of men one bit. Hope you do better some time. have a great Easter too dear


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