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Rekindle the Romance With Your Spouse

Updated on October 14, 2017
Karen Hellier profile image

Karen Hellier is a freelance writer and eBay entrepreneur. She lives happily in the mountains of North Georgia with her husband and her dog.

Our wedding day, at our own little table!
Our wedding day, at our own little table! | Source


Recently I was listening to a Josh Groban CD in my car. I hadn't heard Josh Groban in a long time, and this particular CD reminded me of when my husband and I were first dating. Between my three kids and our health issues, we had gone through a lot in our early days of dating. The music of Josh Groban was a big part of our relationship back then. The music gave us hope of a romantic future together. And listening to his music again reminded me of those early days and of how much love my husband and I had, and still, have for each other. Fortunately, we are enjoying that romantic future together right now. I went home and gave him a big hug and kiss and told him how much I love him. I then shared with him that I had been listening to Josh Groban and it reminded me of our earlier days together. We shared some memories about our first few years together, and it was an enjoyable experience. Even when two people love each other very much, it's easy to get caught up in the day to day activities of working, making meals, cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, and the romantic things can go by the wayside. It's nice to pull out the memories from time to time to remind yourselves of how much love there was and is between you.

Fortunately, we are enjoying that romantic future together right now. I went home and gave him a big hug and kiss and told him how much I love him. I then shared with him that I had been listening to Josh Groban and it reminded me of our earlier days together. We shared some memories about our first few years together, and it was an enjoyable experience. Even when two people love each other very much, it's easy to get caught up in the day to day activities of working, making meals, cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, and the romantic things can go by the wayside. It's nice to pull out the memories from time to time to remind yourselves of how much love there was and is between you.

Even when two people love each other very much, it's easy to get caught up in the day to day activities of working, making meals, cleaning, doing laundry, paying bills, and the romantic things can go by the wayside. It's nice to pull out the memories from time to time to remind yourselves of how much love there was and is between you.


Here are some ways you and your spouse can rekindle your own romance:

1) Listen to music together from your early days of dating or when you were first married. Dance to it if that was something that you used to do.

2) Read a book about great romances, and it will help you feel closer to your spouse. Especially if the book is about couples, who have similarities to you and your spouse. I once read the book by Lauren Bacall, "By Myself and Then Some" in which she details her relationship and marriage with Humphrey Bogart. There are a lot of similarities between her relationship with him and my relationship with my husband, including a 26 year age difference! Her love for him reminded me of my love for my husband, and I was quite romantic and appreciative at home while I was reading the book.

I once read the book by Lauren Bacall, "By Myself and Then Some" in which she details her relationship and marriage with Humphrey Bogart. There are a lot of similarities between her relationship with him and my relationship with my husband, including a 26 year age difference! Her love for him reminded me of my love for my husband, and I was quite romantic and appreciative at home while I was reading the book.

3) Take your spouse back to a restaurant that was very special to the two of you in your early years. Do it as a surprise and then once there, reminisce about those days way back when and appreciate all you have been through together.

4) Speaking of food, does your spouse have a favorite meal? On a day when they are not at the house, prepare that meal for them again. When they come home, have the mood set ( kids at your parents or a friend's house, candle light, soft music, etc.) Enjoy that meal together and share something about why you love them. Who knows what might happen...old feelings rekindled, a little romance, they may reciprocate next time and do the same for you? Quiet times together help to rekindle the romance in any relationship.

5) Or, go back to a special inn or hotel you once stayed at. This would be extra special if it included the place you two went on your honeymoon.

6) Was there a favorite activity the two of you used to do when first dating? Was it bowling? Going for a picnic at a state park? Go parking after a date at a special spot? Try it again and enjoy talking about those old times and what you have been through together since then. It will remind both of you of how much your love for each other has grown.

7) Look at pictures together from your past. If they are in scrapbooks or photo albums, this is easier than having them in a big pile or box, but if they are unorganized, you could make it a joint effort to sit down and go through them, organizing them by dates, and enjoying the memories while you do so. And wedding pictures are always good for remembering the love!

These are only a few ways to rekindle the romance. But when the world seems to keep the two of you too busy to remember the special times and those special feelings, whip out one of these ideas to rekindle your romance.


This is one of our favorites cds of romantic music by Josh Groban

Our first dance was to...you guessed it, Josh Groban! The song was called, "For Always."
Our first dance was to...you guessed it, Josh Groban! The song was called, "For Always." | Source
One of our favorite restaurants in Newport, R.I. We went there a lot when we were first dating!
One of our favorite restaurants in Newport, R.I. We went there a lot when we were first dating! | Source
Out to dinner in the "early days" at another favorite restaurant, "The Brushworks by the Waterfall" in Chester, CT
Out to dinner in the "early days" at another favorite restaurant, "The Brushworks by the Waterfall" in Chester, CT | Source
We loved going to Boston together when we were first dating. Hmmm, I think it's time for another trip!
We loved going to Boston together when we were first dating. Hmmm, I think it's time for another trip!

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© 2013 Karen Hellier

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    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      5 years ago from Georgia

      Faith Reaper,

      Thanks for stopping by and leaving such a nice comment. We are blessed and I just want to share that with the rest of the world!

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      5 years ago from southern USA

      What great advice here. Such a beautiful and touching hub. Thanks for sharing your story.

      Voted up ++++ and sharing

      God bless, Faith Reaper

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      5 years ago from Georgia

      Mhatter99,

      Really? That's wonderful. I hope it was a great experience for you! My husband read this and asked when I am going to take him back to a restaurant from our dating days...next Hub Page payout! :0)

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      5 years ago from San Francisco

      Thank you for this. Arlene and I went back to our dating days.

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      5 years ago from Georgia

      hawaiianodysseus,

      Thanks for your kind comment. I need to find more pics of the things we did in the early days and add them. That would be fun. Of course in the wedding pictures we look our absolute best so they are always good to use!

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      5 years ago from Georgia

      Mommymay,

      Wow, that's really a reason to celebrate. Good for you. And with all those kids under the age of 9 ( how do you DO that every day???) You guys sure do need some alone time. If I lived closer I would offer to babysit!

    • Karen Hellier profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Hellier 

      5 years ago from Georgia

      stephanieb27,

      Congratulations on nine years together. many people don't make that. Yes on the sitter. The boys will like it and I bet you and your husband will too. You can always try to trade babysitting time with another couple too that have kids about your boys's age. Babysitting can get expensive!

    • hawaiianodysseus profile image

      Hawaiian Odysseus 

      5 years ago from Southeast Washington state

      Always a good topic, and you did such a nice job of it! What a great couple you and Chuck make! Thanks for sharing, Karen!

    • Mommymay profile image

      Heather May 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      great tip! My husband and I were married 28 days after I graduated HS and have been married for 15 years. We have 5 kids under the age of 9 and don't get much "us" time. These are great tips to bring those newlywed sparks back!

    • stephanieb27 profile image

      stephanieb27 

      5 years ago from United States

      Useful tips! We just celebrated our 9th anniversary on the 27th. I would love to plan more date nights. We have two boys (6 and 4) so they are definitely at the point to leave them with a sitter more often. Thanks for sharing! :)

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