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Relationship advice - striking the right emotional balance for a balanced relationship

Updated on October 1, 2011

Emotional balance for lasting relationships

Emotional balance is at the very crux of any healthy relationship. In any relationship people need to be emotionally involved; without emotional involvement there is no relationship or bonding. Striking the right balance is indeed an art and the most difficult part of maintaining a great relationship, because when people are emotionally involved, reason flies out of the window. Positive emotions are what cause bonding and a relationship to flourish, but when we loosen our handle on our feelings, things become particularly difficult. This can be true not only of romantic relationships, but any relationship for that matter. Emotional attachment and emotional detachment need to come into play and the ability to strike the right balance at the right time is what makes a relationship bloom and flourish.

Relationship advice - even the best of relationships need work

Even if you think you have found your soul mate, it takes a lot of work to get a relationship going. Emotional balance is that thin line where you could either go off track or get in line. Some men have a problem of exhibiting such outward emotion, which is often read as lack of commitment or lack of love. The popular saying goes: “If you love someone, show it.” So when people do not show adequate emotion to substantiate their feelings towards a person, it often works against them. Men are not as emotional as women are and some find it very difficult to express love. Some men would even feel that they are risking their sense of security by allowing another person to take control. This may be a slightly unbalanced view, as it lacks trust and a basic understanding of love as give-and-take. Women in relationships, on the other hand, find it easy to express themselves and their emotions with their verbal ability. Women seem to be higher risk takers when it comes to the matter of love. But then, women also have problems with being able to draw the line. Problems such as jealousy, possessiveness, lack of personal space, creep in due to the inability to balance themselves emotionally.

Realistic expectation, trust, appropriate emotional response needed for balanced relationships

What you expect out of a relationship needs to be clear cut. If expectations are not reasonable, you put the other person at great stress and expect him/her to live up to your unrealistic expectations. The ability to understand, appreciate and provide for the emotional needs of the other person is as difficult a task as rope walking. With understanding and trust comes another aspect of relationship - the ability to let go. You tend to see the bigger picture and not get stuck to the minute details. The ability to accept one’s mistakes, to forgive and to seek forgiveness is a major part of achieving emotional balance. As human beings, we tend to get frustrated and angry at times. At other times, happy and cheerful, all depending on the situations around us. This may or may not include our partner, which is another cause for concern, because we could react from a totally different emotional overtone, while our partner may have had just the opposite experience emotionally. Being able to perceive the other’s emotional state and being able to respond appropriately goes a long way in achieving emotional balance in relationships. If one loses control over his/her emotions, in a balanced relationship, the other partner would tend to overlook the emotional outburst as a small aberration and carry forward without grudges. Emotional balance in relationships is not only the ability to control your own emotions and voice them appropriately, but it also means being able to understand the emotions of the other and act accordingly.

Appropriate emotional distancing, emotional strength and emotional resilience a must for healthy relationships

Emotional distancing or giving each other personal space would call for a lot of emotional maturity. This would enable friends or couples to be able to respect and treat each other with dignity. We find that often, in close relationships, there tends to be a merging of two personalities, especially when there is a lot of positive emotion and bonding. There is also this high risk of lack of personal space and the inability to keep jealousy and possessiveness out of it.

Emotional strength and resilience is another aspect of emotional balance that causes relationships to be long lasting. The ability to trust in the goodness of the other and the deep understanding that comes from knowing the other causes a person to be emotionally strong in a relationship. The emotional security that arises from knowing that one is loved is again another factor in emotional strength. When a person is emotionally strong, he/she is also emotionally resilient. When things go wrong, they are able to hang on for a long time and be able to strike the right note, at the right time and get the relationship back on track. This may be a much needed key for a happy marriage.

Relationship advice - emotional support is the basic need in every human relationship

Emotional support to a partner often strengthens the bond and the relationship between the two. Even when one is not able to physically or materially support the other, being emotionally supportive to one’s partner, weighs very highly in their favour. Both men and women look for emotional support from their partners. This causes people in relationships to be emotionally dependant on each other. Here again, there is a fine line between healthy dependence and unhealthy weighing down of the other. Relationship issues are often caused by emotional imbalance and unhealthy dependence and the need to work through such difficulties is paramount to a happy relationship.

Relationships are emotional balancing acts - work it out!

No relationship can work without effort from both people involved. Understanding, acceptance, the ability to give and take and the ability to let go, all are important factors in relationship where emotional balance is at play. It calls for two mature people who are well aware of their strengths and weaknesses and are able to strike the right balance in a relationship. Striking the right emotional balance in a relationship is by no means, an easy task nor are all of us masters over our emotional states. We need to constantly work on our emotional states within ourselves and in our relationship with others.

Developing qualities such as understanding, empathy and compassion can make the relationship healthier and longer lasting. Developing self-discipline and respect for the needs of others could take us a long way. Stress could cause disturbances in our emotional make up, being aware of the stressor and handling stress effectively could bring about a greater balance in relationship. I believe more than everything else, commitment to make a relationship work can be the greatest leveller of all. Go on and find that right balance, it is hard work, but well worth the effort!

Your comments always inspire me on....

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    • lovendar profile image


      6 years ago from Chicago

      Great article indeed, I think emotions plays a vital role in any relationship. Without emotions a relationship i just formality or a passing time for entertainment. Striking the emotions in balanced manner is a must in any relationship.

    • sofs profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Oh! you are ever so kind. I do appreciate the compliment, the time and effort from your side. Glad that you found it useful and thanks once again for jamming the tabs, I love it :):) God Bless!

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 

      8 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      sofs~~ "This" is what I'm talking about... so sage and filled with reminders and inspirations we can all benefit from... thank you very much!


    • sofs profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago

      Dear Ruby, thank you for seeing some merit in this article. It does take a lot of hard work to keep a relationship working. I appreciate the visit and the comment :)

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      8 years ago from Southern Illinois

      A great article sofs. It takes a lot of hard work and commitment to maintain a good relationship. Thank's for sharing.


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