- Gender and Relationships
Resurrect Romance Week, What do You Think?
August 10th through the 16th is the proclaimed "Ressurect Romance Week". This event was established in 1995 and takes place annually during the second full week in August. That is stragetically six months away from Valentine's Day. This week was founded by a romance specialist that felt that Valentine's Day was too commercial and wanted to promote a week of romance that does not focus on money and "things", but rather pursuing romance with the gifts of time and attention. Honestly, if you wait all year, and only have one week that you focus on romance, I'm here to tell you that your relationship probably has some major issues.
Having a week to focus on resurrecting the romance in your relationship is a nice sentiment, absolutely. That's not our contention. However, I find it sad that a week like this should even be thought of as having to be formulated. Shouldn't romance be something that is focused on every day, all year long? Come on People, instead of prescribing to a week out of your precious year to celebrate your most precious love, why not prescribe to pursuing romance and passion as a daily event?
Maybe I'm biased because of my line of work. I deal with people focusing on the pursuit of romance and passion every week of every year. Every day is like Valentine's Day at HappyHer.com with people pursuing their passions, regardless of the partnership status. It can't help but to spill over into our daily lives. The stories and intimate moments that are shared with us each day give us proof positive. The fact is that people that pursue passion regularly have a more satisfying love life, and are much happier, than the people that sit around waiting for it to happen, or waiting for some specified date to make the effort.
I think the confusion stems when people think that romance is something that comes naturally. When you think of falling in love, or are in those first heady throws of love, everything is romantic. Every nuance of every minute. or every fantasized minute becomes heightened with romantic bliss. That first kiss, that first touch, the sound of their voice, oh you could go on forever over all the cute ways that new love of yours has. You just can't get enough and giving that special love time and attention. Its all you can think about. At this stage, there is no thought or effort put into feeling passionate and romantic, it just is.
But then something happens
Our everyday life happens. We get used to those touches and used to those kisses. We almost have a basic human need to begin taking our partner for granted. Think about it, taking something for granted is a form of security. Isn't it a great feeling to know what you need is going to be there when you need it?
It's almost a gift to be able to take the best things in life for granted, knowing they will be there for you at all times no matter what. So, our beloved that consumed our every waking thought gets re-assigned to something that still gets a lot of thought, is still our beloved, but the rest of life comes back into focus and the sparkle and almost obsessive need for time and attention with that beloved starts to take a back seat.
Then something else happens
Eventually your lives have consumed the two of you and you become extensions of eath other. The way you have taken care of yourself during this time will become a direct example of how you take care of your relationship with your "other half". If you spend time improving yourself, keeping yourself attractive, and pursuing a passion filled life, chances are your relationship will reflect that. You won't need a particular week to remind you to rally round and gift your partner with what they yearn for most from you. However, if your human, you allow yourself to slip. You don't take care of yourself to your utmost potential and your relationship will also reflect that. You and your partner may grow in different directions and other events in life will come to fill up that empty spot where your romance once filled your hearts.
The Day of Reckoning
It gets to the point where you have to make a choice. The choice is that romance is going to be a priority that is worth your effort, or you'll choose to allow your relationship to slip into doldrums and a not so exciting union of convenience and familiarity. At this point, most relationships either carry on in a not so happy, yet accepted status, one or the other of you may start to cheat in a pathetic attempt to fill that empty space that passion used to visit. Or, one of you will decide that the relationship just isn't worth it anymore and will make a break. I wonder which way you all will choose?
The point is, romance is a continuous activity, just as love is a verb. Passion for passion's sake is a definite lifestyle choice that many people have to make conscious daily efforts to pursue.
How many of you will decide to make that effort to pursue passion, for passion's sake, for yourself and that person you claim to love the most? So many relationship problems would be eliminated if you just took an extra couple of minutes out of your consumed life to truly look at your partner, hear what they need and try to support them in fulfilling those needs. When was the last time you really deeply did that? Do it today.
Tips and Tricks for a Passionate Lifestyle
- Look at your partner as if they are a new person in your life, every day. They are the most special guest in your life and deserve to be treated like that without exception.
- Take just ten seconds out of every day to say "I love you", to give a compliment or a deep hug or romantic kiss.
- Improve yourself. Caring for others is about caring for yourself too. Stay attractive for your partner and pursue your passions in life. Your partner will be gifted with a happier more exciting person to share their life with.
- Keep dating your partner. Even if it's a weekly dinner and movie at home without the kids around, commit to personal time together, and often.
- Stay educated about romantic and passionate pursuits and keep the lines of communication wide open to be able to discuss uncharted territories between the two of you.
No matter how long you've been together, I'll bet there is quite a bit you have not experienced together. Make a commitment to explore, learn, and discover. Keep the passions burning, and make every day a Resurrect Romance Day. Even if it's only a few seconds out of your precious schedule, it will pay off significantly.
If you are single, pursue passion for yourself. Not only will you become a happier, more attractive person, but when you do meet that special someone, you'll be able to offer them the romance of a lifetime, not just a week out of the year.