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What Are the Signs of a Bad Relationship?

Updated on April 27, 2015
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Look for Warning Signs in a Bad Relationship!

Women, when you are in a relationship with someone and something doesn't feel "just right", listen to your gut instinct! Watch for the warning signals closely and RUN! Dont' walk to an exit!

Signs That You're In A Bad Relationship:

1. Does he exhibit insensitivity for others? Is 'getting his way' more important to him than your welfare? Does he constantly push for more? Run to an exit!

2. Do you find yourself apologizing regularly not really understanding what you are apologizing about? Do you often wonder later "what did I do wrong?" Run to an exit!

3. Does he know exactly what you are thinking and feeling at a given moment, almost seeing inside your soul (or so it seems)? Does he ever tell you what you are thinking/feeling even though it may not be so at all? Run to an exit!

4. Does he belittle you in subtle ways? Comments like "you couldn't figure it out anyway...oh, just kidding". Run to an exit!

5. Does he have a way of convincing you to do something you wouldn't normally do because you find the act either deviant or perverted? Then do you wonder later why you do not feel it is abnormal with him? Run to an exit!

6. Does he justify his actions by focusing on himself by using the excuse that it insulted him or harmed him in some way? Do you often wonder why it upset him? Run to an exit!

7. Do you find yourself confused after a heated or deep discussion about something serious that is important to you? Do you get an unsettled feeling in your chest wondering why you are confused about it? Run to an exit!

8. Does he try to turn it around on you when your reaction to his action is 'wrong' or not what 'he wants'? Do you feel guilty for having done something wrong? Run to an exit!

9. Do you find yourself second guessing his true motives but minimize the question by reminding yourself 'that is just the way he is'? Run to an exit!

10. Do you give more in the relationship than you receive often feeling an emptiness or void? Do you find yourself doing more to fulfill him than yourself? Run to an exit!

What Are You Getting Out Of The Relationship?

The thought is actually "What are you going to do about it?" If you answered yes to any of these questions, please re-examine the situation. Stand back and view the relationship like a stranger. Write down your concerns. Put in writing the question "What am I getting out of this?"

It narrows down to the bold plain facts: Listen to the warning signs....run, don't walk to an exit!

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    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      5 years ago from United States

      inkai:

      I pray you find the courage and strength to make the right decision.

    • profile image

      inkai 

      5 years ago

      i might say "YES".. coz i feel it everyday..

      and it hurts me.. but i cant leave him.. it's hard..

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      6 years ago from United States

      disappointedlass:

      Yes, probably so. He's still hung up on the ex. You're perfectly justified in feeling sad and hurt. Try to hold back if you can because if you push for more and get no response, it will hurt worse. It feels awful to be rejected when your feelings aren't reciprocated. It feels even worse to continually set yourself up for more. Experience what you enjoy in life, you deserve it!

    • profile image

      disappointedlass 

      6 years ago

      I fell for a man off dating site, told me previous ex dumped him who he wanted to marry.Would not call what we had a relationship kept claiming confused and unsettled by us being together so I said OK we have a break. Hoping he would realise he miss me and then he tells me he had coffee with previous ex who wants to get back together with him. Now I feel sad and hurt as i am wondering is that what he wanted the whole time?

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      7 years ago from United States

      RutRow: If you happen to check these comments again, I'd like to recommend a book. It is called Obsessive Love, by Dr. Susan Forward. I think you will find yourself somewhere in this book.

      In the meantime, try to develop some new interests. I understand the cycle of punishment you are going through. It could possibly stem from the self-defeating concept of 'shame and blame' by continually choosing or staying in unhealthy relationships. You are worthy to be free.

    • profile image

      RutRow 

      8 years ago

      Hi. Somehow found your site. Read your warning signs. A tough read...much easier 'said' than done. I answered 'yes' to every question but #5. Been in it for 18 years. Its pure hell. Made worse by my inability to extracate from dynamics sooooo ingrained that when I do...knowing I can't take it anymore...I feel strong for the 'moment'...then 'cave in' so fast. Finding myself apologizing and doing all I can do to return to him. That unconcious, yet fully aware knowledge of words/actions coming from me...to a man who has been incredibly hurtful. Yet working hard to reel him back. This cycle is soul killing. Worse is he is always trying to "do better" than me...yet...well...he tries...when he 'thinks' he has succeeded...I fall a part. He ignores me and goes "all out" for someone else...but won't for me. His ego is incredible as is his status (director of prestigious Boards), wealth, (100 million+), reputation...enabling him to do as he pleases. I try soooooo hard but feel "lost" and unable to move onward from him. 15 year age difference. Have the "trophy wife " looks and personna...play my 'part ' well..yet am undermined and 'not good enough for him' ..b.ut everyday...it is a new beginning of trying to hold on to him and losing myself. I'm now in my mid forties...and once again find myself groveling to get him to see how he is making a huge mistake....just typing this gives me the "what happened to you ----- along your road in life quezy feeling...major loss of time and happiness...yet don't remember or even know the steps to go about receiving such a new way of living...I am Stuck. Yuk.

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      8 years ago from United States

      Kaie: Thank you.

    • Kaie Arwen profile image

      Kaie Arwen 

      8 years ago

      sound advice........... as always

      K

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      8 years ago from United States

      purpleangel: You are so right. It sounds exactly like the signs of an abuser. Who knows? It may be either physical or mental. I am glad you are appreciative of my article.

    • purpleangel47 profile image

      purpleangel47 

      8 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

      Very necessary article ... sounds like the very signs that describe a person who will end up being an abuser. And if you can get out when you see the signs - "run .. don't walk!"

      Thank you for this article. :)

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      8 years ago from United States

      ptosis: You certainly have a fighting spirit. Keep it up.

    • ptosis profile image

      ptosis 

      8 years ago from Arizona

      I love it when the guy says to me, "Nobody else would put up with your shit." As if he was my 'last chance'. Hah!!! I tell them I heard that line plenty of times before!

      Yeah I'm not easy to live with, but I'm a good woman who won't take crap. I guess those guys were used to easier picken's - and that ain't me. They wanted a challenge - & they got it.

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      8 years ago from United States

      confused: Why yes, this could apply to your girlfriend. Women are just as likely as men to be players.

    • profile image

      confused 

      8 years ago

      i answered yes to a lot of those...but i'm a guy. Does this apply to my gf?

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      8 years ago from United States

      I am delighted that you find my article useful. Thank you for your encouraging words!

    • katiem2 profile image

      katiem2 

      8 years ago from I'm outta here

      RecoverToday, OH this is good, I'm impressed and look forward to hearing more from you! thanks and peace :)

    • TheGlassSpider profile image

      TheGlassSpider 

      8 years ago from On The Web

      *sigh* Yes...and while I'm not capable of running...I AM crawling to the exit. I promise.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 

      8 years ago from England

      Hiya, this is good advice. I wish I had noticed all these things! LOL but seriously, that was the trouble with my husband, he never was like this. I wish he had been then it would have been easier to go, or kick him out. great advice. cheers nell

    • donotfear profile image

      Annette Thomas 

      8 years ago from Northeast Texas

      I gotta agree...this is some good advice. If I'd only listened years ago I coulda saved myself a lotta heart ache. Oh well, you live and learn. Good hub.

    • andromida profile image

      syras mamun 

      8 years ago

      Great hub. I agree with your checklist, yet I think that your first paragraph give us a very strong advice and that is listening to one's gut instinct.thank you.

    • profile image

      a woman that love 

      8 years ago

      I think that this is not so cut and dried, like the auther would have so many people believe.

      All of those questions can be answered yes, if he is paranoid schizophrenic.

      That means he is sick.

      Those qualities describe someone that is paranoid schizophrenic,and most of the time they show symptoms of the following disorders. Someone that is clinically depressed, delusional, dissociative,narcissistic,paranoid, no rational, anxiety, disorganized speech and thinking, apathetic toward ones they say they love, compulsive lying, and sociopolitical.

      How about if you have cancer, and lost your hair, should he run to the nearest exit?

      I think that to tell someone they should leave a man that exhibits even one of those symptoms is highly judgmental and doing a disservice to those men that are mentally ill.

      What about true abuse?

      I think the first question should be, does he push and/or shove you and say he didn't mean to?

      Is he abusive to animals?

      Those are signs of a real abuser. Paranoid Schizophrenic's do not abuse physically in 99% of the men that suffer from it.

      To tell any woman to leave a sick person is wrong, and I do hope that most women that read this rethink your message and try to help their man, live through the man's crazy ideals.

      I have been married to a PS sufferer for almost 25 years. I am not a mass of fear, or a timid bug, for fear he will say something.

      In reality, women that live with this can get their heads together and know that first off, the man doesn't really know what he is doing, and second they should know that they are not as bad as the man says.

      Instead of encouraging the woman to be strong, because their man is sick,they are encouraged to toss the man to the street. Like a piece of trash.

      I can say, with pride, that I never did toss my man to the street. Sure I have thought of separating, but I know what that would do to him, and he just does not have the mental capability to handle life without me.

      Perhaps doing more research, before posting something that can leave a man homeless, and can hurt someone who is merely ill, would be a good thing.

      There is a book that perhaps anyone that is thinking about leaving their man, because he exhibits these symptoms, should perhaps read.

      It is a father's story about his son. It is called "Surviving Schizophrenia".

      PS's sufferers will never be normal. But then again who is normal.

      And if a woman is willing to just up and leave, without working things out, and talking things out, then the man is better off without her.

    • RecoverToday profile imageAUTHOR

      RecoverToday 

      8 years ago from United States

      I wish many would listen to this sound advice. It's easy to ignore the warning signs when we are blinded by the emotion involved in the relationship. Thank you for your comments.

    • Potentialinlove profile image

      Potentialinlove 

      8 years ago

      I wish I'd read this before I got married....

    • ethel smith profile image

      Ethel Smith 

      8 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

      Very insightful. No relationship is always perfect but, yes, you are right so times you just have to get the hell away

    • Veronica Allen profile image

      Veronica Allen 

      8 years ago from Georgia

      This is a very powerful hub. So many go through this but aren't quite sure how to handle it. Second guessing themselves becomes a norm over listening to their "gut." Great job!

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