Self definition in relationship

Self definition is defining who you are, knowing your purpose, what moves you, what propels you forward and what you want out of life. What you want from life determines what you want to get out of a relationship and your motive for going into a relationship

Your relationship is what you make of it and how you run your relationship, depends on your internal projections about yourself. How you think and reason affect your perception of things and issues around you.

How do you perceive yourself? Intelligent or brilliant, beautiful/ handsome or ugly, serious or unserious, friendly or unfriendly, outspoken or shy, determined, strong-willed or weak? And what is the level of your self esteem?

These are some of the parameters to use in self definition; you really have to understand who you are, to be able to understand your partner. If you doubt your competency in any aspect of your life, your doubt will rob off on your partner and he/she will consider you incompetent in that area, it is what you carry that you reflect and what you reflect is what your partner will perceive.

There are three steps towards self definition in a relationship.

1. Accept.

You are unique in composition and make up, don’t always compare yourself with your peers. However, accept what you are, no self-denial; know your limitations and weaknesses, accept them but don’t celebrate them, rather, focus on your abilities.

Let your partner always see the good side and the bad side of you, when you do that, your partner will rarely have any bias against you because you are comfortable enough to present the totality of who you are to the person.

2. Appreciate.

You really have to appreciate your appeal, those things that make up the totality of you, if you don’t appreciate yourself, nobody will. Self appreciation boost your self-esteem, it is you that will determine your self- worth in the eyes of your partner and others around you. You see, if you see yourself as a princess and carry yourself royally, you will be regarded as a princess; no doubt you will be treated with royalty. It doesn’t matter where you come from; the value you place on yourself is how people will rate you.

3. Acknowledge.

Acknowledge how you are, believe in what you are and your partner will give you the same accord. Acknowledge what you want in your life and your relationship that is according to your inner projection.

Acknowledge your physical desirability and emotional maturity. When you acknowledge yourself you create equilibrium in your life and relationship. Balance in a relationship comes from knowledge.

SELF DEFINITION TEST

Can you honestly and sincerely analysis the person you are?

Can you truthfully say you know yourself in all ramifications?

Do you totally accept the person you are?

Are you comfortable with yourself?

Are you proud of whom you are physically, mentally and emotionally?

Self definition helps you to change that which you could about yourself and to accept that which is not in your power to change.