Divorce

Divorce is a legal procedure that one has to endure after a marriage is deemed irreconcilable. The parties have “called it quits” and want to move on without each other.

Why did we decide in our culture to adopt such an institution? It’s just that getting married seemed so easy. One signed a few forms after the vows and the deed was done. Now, unhappily after, it’s complicated to undo. I guess that’s why it’s called wedlock.

According to the Canadian Constitution of 1867, it was definitely the intention to make divorce difficult. Each divorce was part of a separate bill and had to be read 3 times in the House of Commons and ratified in the Senate. Only those who were wealthy could afford to be heard.

How do I love thee,
let me quickly divorce thee

In 1968 when the Divorce Act was enacted Canadians were finally able to divorce based on a breakdown in the marriage. Divorce applied equally to men and women.

In some Islamic countries the practice of repeating the Talaq or saying “I divorce you” 3 times to the wife is a way to end their marriage.

According to Matter of Fact, Stats Can’s catalogue, General Social Survey 2006, 13% of Canadians15 years and over have had at least one divorce and nearly half have remarried. In 2006, 64% of divorced women and 58% of divorced men said that they would not want to remarry. Yet men remarry more quickly and more often than women.

Common law unions seem to be the choice in 2006 because 30% of Canadians are living in this way.

During a divorce emotions are running hot and the parties although “in love” during the marriage eventually want out. This time usually plays out in 1 or 2 ways:

1. The parties agree on everything and with due process it’s over in a reasonable amount of time.

2. The parties disagree and the legal wrangling begins. This can make for a lengthy, time consuming, emotional and pocket draining process.

Three biggie celebrity divorces with stunning financial payouts in the media of late were Michael and Juanita Jordan $168 million; Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey $150 million; Stephen Spielberg and Amy Irving $100 million.

I can now understand why there are countless divorce lawyers. They are the ones who are laughing all the way to the bank.

The hardest part of divorcing someone occurs when there are children involved. Here too, the split must take place. Children feel a variety of emotions but mainly that it’s their fault that the adults are going their separate ways.

Usually the court must decide who will have custody and where the children will reside unless other arrangements were mutually agreed upon in a legal separation or other documentation.

We as adults end up dragging our children through our mess that we created, some say, with our eyes closed. It’s a matter of choice really. Make better choices.

Divorce can be smooth if the individuals remember why they came together and see the good in each other. It’s hard enough at the end when they are busy hurting each other as much as they can.

In a higher way of thinking, spiritually, you agreed to come together to work on whatever issues your spirits chose and that has either happened or not.

Let go, knowing that you are where you need to be and this is all part of your experience and growth.

If none of this makes sense then see the divorce as something you needed to be able to move out of and into something new.