Divorce

Divorce is a legal procedure that one has to endure after a marriage is deemed irreconcilable. The parties have “called it quits” and want to move on without each other.

Why did we decide in our culture to adopt such an institution? It’s just that getting married seemed so easy. One signed a few forms after the vows and the deed was done. Now, unhappily after, it’s complicated to undo. I guess that’s why it’s called wedlock.

According to the Canadian Constitution of 1867, it was definitely the intention to make divorce difficult. Each divorce was part of a separate bill and had to be read 3 times in the House of Commons and ratified in the Senate. Only those who were wealthy could afford to be heard.

How do I love thee,
let me quickly divorce thee

In 1968 when the Divorce Act was enacted Canadians were finally able to divorce based on a breakdown in the marriage. Divorce applied equally to men and women.

In 2008, there were over 70,000 divorces granted in Canada, a decline of 4% from the year before (Statistics Canada 2011).

Divorce cases are governed by the legislation contained in the federal Divorce Act. Under the Divorce Act, marital breakdown is the only grounds for divorce and must be established by the parties applying for divorce in one of three ways: separation of one year or more; adultery; or mental or physical cruelty. The vast majority (95%) of divorces in Canada are based on the grounds that the couple has been separated and living apart for at least one year (Statistics Canada 2011).

In some Islamic countries the practice of repeating the Talaq or saying “I divorce you” 3 times to the wife is a way to end their marriage.

According to Matter of Fact, Stats Can’s catalogue, General Social Survey 2006, 13% of Canadians15 years and over have had at least one divorce and nearly half have remarried. In 2006, 64% of divorced women and 58% of divorced men said that they would not want to remarry. Yet men remarry more quickly and more often than women.

Common law unions seem to be the choice in 2006 because 30% of Canadians are living in this way.

During a divorce emotions are running hot and the parties although “in love” during the marriage eventually want out. This time usually plays out in 1 or 2 ways:

1. The parties agree on everything and with due process it’s over in a reasonable amount of time.

2. The parties disagree and the legal wrangling begins. This can make for a lengthy, time consuming, emotional and pocket draining process.

Three biggie celebrity divorces with stunning financial payouts in the media of late were Michael and Juanita Jordan $168 million; Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphey $150 million; Stephen Spielberg and Amy Irving $100 million.

I can now understand why there are countless divorce lawyers. They are the ones who are laughing all the way to the bank.

The hardest part of divorcing someone occurs when there are children involved. Here too, the split must take place. Children feel a variety of emotions but mainly that it’s their fault that the adults are going their separate ways.

Usually the court must decide who will have custody and where the children will reside unless other arrangements were mutually agreed upon in a legal separation or other documentation.

We as adults end up dragging our children through our mess that we created, some say, with our eyes closed. It’s a matter of choice really. Make better choices.

Here is a very good link if you have an uncontested divorce and you want to do the divorce by yourself. You need time and patience to be able to do this. You will make many a trips to the courthouse before it is completed. Read up on it before you go and ask questions where you can. I found that in the courthouse where I went, they were not big on explanations. Remember this is a busy place and they may not have time to explain to you in a way that will help you.

Here is an excellent website that explains what you need to do and have and the forms you will have to fill out.

http://www.lsuc.on.ca/For-Lawyers/Manage-Your-Practice/Practice-Area/Family-Law/How-to-Prepare-an-Uncontested-Divorce-by-Simple-Application/#s2

This is the government of Ontario website where you can print copies of the forms and have them filled out beforehand.

http://www.ontariocourtforms.on.ca/english/family/

Divorce can be smooth if the individuals remember why they came together and see the good in each other. It’s hard enough at the end when they are busy hurting each other as much as they can.

In a higher way of thinking, spiritually, you agreed to come together to work on whatever issues your spirits chose and that has either happened or not.

Let go, knowing that you are where you need to be and this is all part of your experience and growth.

If none of this makes sense then see the divorce as something you needed to be able to move out of and into something new.

• It costs approximately $450.00 to file for divorce in Ontario.
• Court fees of $167.00 are due when an application is filed. An additional $280 is due when an affidavit for divorce is filed, for total of $447.00.
• Court fees may be paid by cash, cheque or money order payable to the Minister of Finance.
• If you are unable to pay the court fees, you may request a fee waiver.

http://www.attorneygeneral.jus.gov.on.ca/english/justice-ont/family_law.asp#