Should I move in with my boyfriend or girlfriend? Things to know before moving in with your partner
Should I move in with my boyfriend? Am I ready to start living with my girlfriend? Scared about moving in with your boyfriend before getting married? Unsure about getting into a live-in relationship too fast too soon? Most relationship blogs offer immature advice and answers to these questions in the form of quizzes. This post keeps it real and looks at the practical aspects of moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. This will help you decide whether you should live together as a couple or not.
1) Get to know all your partner's secrets and past before moving in together
Don't make the mistake of moving in with your partner unless you are sure that there is nothing about your partner's past that has been hidden from you. Have a frank discussion with your partner and ask him or her in clear words – Is there something that you have not told me, which I should know?
Couples do keep secrets in a relationship but moving in together is a time when the guy and the girl should know virtually everything about each other.
2) Money and financial dependence can create problems in your relationship
Money can cause a lot of problems in your relationship, especially when you are living-in with your partner. Before you decide to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, ask yourself these questions.
- Does my partner have a job?
- Will I have to support my partner financially?
- Do I have the money to pay my share of expenses?
- Will the rent and bills be split equally?
Be sure of the fact that neither of you will need to depend on each other from a financial perspective. Money can rip apart relationships because at the end of the day, love doesn't pay your bills.
3) Comfort level in your relationship: Be prepared to hear burps and farts
Living with someone will invariably expose you to their bodily functions including burps and farts. So before you even think about moving in with your partner, ask yourself if you are ready to listen to him or her fart.
This sounds funny and silly but it is a clear indicator of whether your relationship is past a certain level. People who love each other won't really care about this point and will laugh it off. But couples who are still in the puppy love phase of dating each other might have concerns about being introduced to their partners' bodily functions so soon.
4) Don't move in unless you have been in meaningful relationship
What is a meaningful relationship? Dictionaries don't have a fixed definition for meaningful relationships but below are some of the basic elements that make one.
- A relationship that has been going on since a long time, at least 6 to 12 months
- Both partners love each other
- There is much more to the relationship than just sex
- The couple have some future plans together
Don't move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend just because you are having the best time of your life in your new relationship. Allow your relationship to mature and make a good decision.
5) Confirm your relationship status with your partner before moving in
Before you decide to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend, have a chat and make sure that you both are on the same page about the status of your relationship.
For example, you may get a rude shock if you have simply assumed that your relationship has become committed since your partner asked you to move in. It is better to be clear about the status of your relationship rather than to feel cheated and betrayed later on.
6) Excitement and romance will fizzle out if you move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend
Some couples plan to live-in, hoping that the romance and excitement in their relationship will increase. This may lead to disappointment because couples actually have to try harder to keep the romance alive.
When you don't live with your partner, you yearn to see him or her. But if you are living-in, his or her presence is taken for granted.
7) Moving in will expose you to your partner's hygiene routine
Moving in with your partner will make you familiar with a lot of your partner's hygiene related stuff. Girls may especially not fancy the idea of walking into a wet bathroom while guys may feel icky at the sight of women's hair removal products.
These things are a complete non-issue to couples who are in love and have known each other since a long time. But if any of these things creep you out, you may not be ready to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Some of the things that might put off a girl when she lives with her boyfriend.
- Looking at her boyfriend's hair all over the sink
- Walking into a wet bathroom
- Seeing men's underwear hanging at odd places in the bathroom
- Looking at the toilet seat left open all the time
- Having to deal with hair on the soap
- Shaving accessories lying around casually all over the sink
Some of the things that a guy will find irritating while living-in with his girlfriend.
- Being grossed out at the sight of tampons or sanitary pads
- Dealing with cosmetic products strewn all over the place
- Looking at his girl shave her legs and do other hair removal procedures
8) Living-in can increase the chances of pregnancy
Moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend will naturally increase the number of times you get intimate with each other. As chances of unprotected sex increase, so do the chances of the girl getting pregnant.
Unplanned pregnancy can throw a couple's life into a chaos. All your life's priorities, goals and ambitions will be sidetracked if you and your partner face becoming parents at a young age.
9) Moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend will take away all your privacy
Living with someone can be unnerving for people who like to be with themselves. If you are a person who likes to have a bit of privacy at the end of the day, living with someone all of a sudden can put you out of your comfort zone.
Don't move in if you are not ready to give up all your privacy. For example, a girl should be ready for her boyfriend to see her without any makeup on while a guy should be ready to reveal all his bad habits to his girlfriend.
10) You will have to make sacrifices after you move-in
Don't be under the impression that your life will become smooth and free of problems after moving in with your girlfriend or boyfriend. You will have to make sacrifices in your own routine to adjust to your partner's needs.
For example, you may have to give up your favorite bedtime reading habit just because your partner expects you to watch TV together. This was just a small example but the possibilities of the type and size of sacrifices can be a disappointment.
11) Live-in relationships can have a bad effect on your studies
You must give moving in a second thought if you are still in college. Living with your partner can cloud your commitment towards acing your semesters because your priorities will suddenly change.
Discuss this with your boyfriend and girlfriend. If postponing the move seems like a better idea to either of you, it probably is.
12) Moving in will be tough if you both have different lifestyle choices
Living with a person who has a completely different lifestyle than yours will be a frustrating experience. For example, if you are a cleanliness freak and your partner is the exact opposite, you will be living a nightmare every single day. You both will fight over the silliest of things including why the dishes weren't done or why the carpet wasn't vacuumed.
Lifestyle choices spill out to a range of preferences including sleeping and eating habits. You will face a tough time if you move in with a person whose way of living is opposite to yours.