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All the Single Ladies

Updated on September 16, 2017
Mekenzie profile image

Susan has spent many hours counseling young women with stars in their eyes. Love is a choice and God is the author of true love.

Single Ladies
Single Ladies | Source

Single Christian Women

As you see from my profile picture, I am a happily married woman. So when I was asked to speak to a group of Single Christian women my first thought was, "you've got the wrong person!"

I did promise to pray about it after my Pastor's wife made the request, and so I did. Yet, the nagging insecurity of getting up before a bunch of single women sent me back to her with the question, "Isn't there someone more qualified?" I knew there must be a single woman in our large congregation, who had her life down pat. Someone who had gained wisdom through her years of singleness.

What I didn't anticipate was my Pastor's wife pulling the God card. Yep, that's right, she told me God had laid it on her heart that I was the one to teach this class. I love this lady and I do believe she sought God, so how could I argue?

Laying all doubts aside I dug in. God undertook and enveloped me with His peace. He guided my every step and gave me many confirmations. I connected with a single Christian group online and asked lots of questions. I asked my single friends too. I encouraged them to be candid with me, and they were. As a result, I gained a lot of perspectives on the single life.

The day of my presentation, the classroom was filled with beautiful Christian singles. They were so gracious as they opened their hearts and shared their struggles with singleness.

This writing comes from my observations in befriending singles all of my life, and from seeking God's truth in His word and asking lots of questions of those who are living the single life.

In this article, I will lay a foundation by pointing out that all singles are not alike. I have divided singles into four groups to illustrate and apply truths to the unique struggles of singles.

The Christian Single:

  • Cinderella Complex
  • Looking and Longing
  • Satisfied Single
  • Gratified Growth

The titles of these groups come from knowing and loving the special singles in my life. There may be more and If you find you don't fit in any of the categories .. talk to me. :)

As you read I am hoping you will find encouragement and hope. Father God loves His children and when we really get that it revolutionizes our life.

Cinderella Dreams of her Prince
Cinderella Dreams of her Prince | Source

Cinderella Complex

Allow me to introduce you to this sweet single. Her name is Cinderella and she has a BIG complex. Her expectations are unrealistic and her standard is perfection.

Most girls have grown up believing fairy tales, especially when it comes to meeting her happily ever after. She believes that she will someday meet a handsome prince, the one who will love her all the days of her life. Most of us start out believing there is one man in this world who will complete us. We dream about our wedding day and the happily ever after life we will live.

We attentively check out the opposite sex and long to find the man of our dreams. You know … the knight in shining armor who shows up magically and whisks you into his arms. He is the one who will right everything in your world.

The problem with this Complex is that it is not based on reality. The people we live with, here on earth, are flesh and blood prone to many quirks and faults. Cinderella needs to understand there is no perfect person. When a couple enters into a covenant to one another there no room for fairy tale thinking.

Cinderella's hopes and dreams are dashed when the reality of imperfection hits.

Marriage requires selflessness, sacrifice, and unconditional love. Operating as a helpmeet to the person you committed your love to is very hard work.

Source

Cinderella Asks

Some Questions Cinderella asks:

When will I meet him? Is this a question we can answer? Is it a question we can ask the Lord? We cannot answer this question because if we are waiting for God to give us a man of character .. that timing is in God's hands. The Lord tells us to bring everything to Him in prayer so you can ask Him anything.

How will I know it is him? Stay close to Jesus. Be realistic but avoid being a perfectionist. There is NO perfect man .. we know this all too well because we are far from perfect. Open your eyes to discern and keep a close leash on your heart. Take your time, time reveals character. Don't give your heart away before it is time! Pray and ask God to show you His will for your life. He will!

When will I be ready? You will be ready when you are complete in Christ. You will be a blessing to your spouse when your identity is in the one who loves you most. Neediness will vanish when you are secure in Christ. Strength exudes from the woman whose hope is in God and it is so attractive to a man. When you put God first you will be so attractive to a man of God. He will see the joy and love of Jesus in you and be drawn to know you better. Jesus will be the bond that draws him to your heart.

Letting Go

The key to setting Cinderella free is to give up the princesses dream.She must let go of how she thought life would be. She needs to release the expectations she has clung to all of her life and rest in Jesus. Allow Him to rebuild your thinking.

Expect a war against the belief's you have clung to. The mind is resistant to change, but healthy thinking demands change. Replace your unrealistic thoughts with God's truth. Your Lord is the mighty warrior, and He will fight for you and help you to replace fairy tale thinking with His truth. Trust in Him, He will not fail you.

Enjoy this beautiful song, on Trusting God by Laura Daigle.

Trust In You - Laura Daigle

How to Overcome Your Cinderella Complex

I have written another article on this topic for The Glorious Table called, How to Overcome Your Cinderella Complex. If you have struggled with a princess' mentality, let me encourage you to head on over to the table for some sound advice on becoming an overcomer.

I also invite you to join The Glorious Table. At the table, you will find insightful and heartfelt articles by some gifted women who are Christian Authors.

All The Single Ladies - Looking and Longing

The second group of singles, highlighted in my next writing are those who are Looking and Longing for true love. In this thoughtful presentation, we will address the very real struggle against loneliness and give some healthy alternatives to allowing the pain to destroy us.

Read the true story of Sara's struggle with loneliness within her marriage.

I look forward to seeing you and hearing from you on the next page.

© 2012 Susan Ream

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    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Thank you Anil and Honey, I am very glad to meet you too! Amazing how we are able to communicate with those who live far away from us isn't it? Happy to hear you found the language of this hub simple ...

      Blessings!

      Mekenzie

    • Anil and Honey profile image

      Anil 

      5 years ago from Kerala

      What a wonderful hub, actually you are a grate writer, thank you very much. I am very glad to meet you. I love your simple language.

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Hi Efficient, I love Beth Moore's teaching. Yes, if you are unhappy single you will be unhappy married. It is good to consider our lives in the realm of seasons.

      I observe by your comment about those who think marriage is the only way to happiness that you have a good grip on contentment. That's Awesome!

      Thanks for the visit and also the insight from Beth Moore.

      Blessings!

      Mekenzie

    • Efficient Admin profile image

      Efficient Admin 

      5 years ago from Charlotte, NC

      As Beth Moore would say, if you're unhappy as a single, you'll be unhappy as a married, and to enjoy the season God has you in now.

      Then there are those people that think the only happiness in the world comes from being married and those are the types that get on my nerves.

    • Mekenzie profile imageAUTHOR

      Susan Ream 

      5 years ago from Michigan

      Thank you dear North Wind, I am glad you thought the questions good. It means a lot coming from a single woman. We all need to take a walk through our hearts, ask hard questions and surrender our wrong attitudes, waywardness, false beliefs etc.

      I have one more hub to be published on this topic .. maybe two. I prepared a lot of material and ran out of time because of great discussion. I promised the ladies in the class I would put the rest on hubpages for their review.

      God is so good and He longs to give us JOY, if we would but draw near to God, He will draw near to us.

      God Bless YOU!

      Mekenzie

    • North Wind profile image

      North Wind 

      5 years ago from The World (for now)

      First!

      Well, let me say that this was very informative and eye-opening. I do know a lot of singles (besides being one) and the questions you asked really are some good ones. I think regardless of which category you fall into, you should try asking yourself these questions. They just may reveal a truth about yourself that you did not know.

      I agree - drawing close to the Lord is the most important thing for the single person and the married person.

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