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7 Tips for Meaningful Long-Lasting Friendships

Updated on April 3, 2015

Let's Be Friends


Establishing close, ongoing friendships is something everyone wants, but few people really know how to do. This is because people are so hot and cold and lack the patience to see a relationship through the tough times to attain intimacy. This hub discusses seven tips to establishing meaningful, long-lasting relationships.

Meaningful Friendships Take Time

First, intimate relationships take time to establish. If you want to generate a close friendship, you must clear your schedule to spend extended time with the person. This can be difficult when living life in the fast lane called the 21st Century. But face-to-face time is still essential for maintaining deep close friendships. Go out for coffee, schedule lunch, take a walk in a park, or meet them at their house or apartment. Meaningful friendships take quality time to form and grow.

What do you think or feel is the most essential ingredient for meaningful friendships?

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Intimate Relationships Take Communication

To cultivate close ties with another person, you must master the art of communication. This means learning how to actively listen and ask questions and how to share your heart when it is your turn to speak. Active listening means keeping eye contact with the person; not thinking about what you want to say; and asking clarifying questions that show you are engaged in the conversation. When speaking, it is important to use gentle language especially in heated moments.

Close Friendships Take the Heat

In order to establish meaningful friendships, you cannot be afraid of conflict. Conflict is a natural part of life; itĀ isĀ inevitable. In fact there is a Cambodian proverb that says "two people are not friends unless that have had an argument." No one is perfect; we all have bad days which can lead to conflict. Hoiwever, the Bible says "love covers a multitude of sins." True intimacy occurs when you work through your differences and the relationship becomes stronger because of it.

Good Friendships Take the Hit

Strong bonds of friendship are knit together through loyalty in and out of the presence of your mate. Stephen Covey, writer of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, likes to talk about "being loyal to the person not present." This means protecting your friends honor when other people want to gossip about and slander them. Good relationships are unified when you are willing to take the hit for your bosom buddy.

Unexpected Gifts at Unexpected Times

A fifth tip for forging meaningful friendships is offering timely, appropriate gifts. In the movie Finding Forrester the main character noted that the key to a person's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time. The kicker on this tip is knowing the person well enough to offer the right gift that is appropriate and at the same time relevant to the person. A book by their favorite author, concert tickets to their favorite music artist, or a gift card to their favorite restaurant or coffee shop, all fall under possibilities in this category.

Appropriate and Timely Touch

A sixth tip for establishing close and meaningful relationships is to use timely and appropriate touch. Asexual touch can be extremely endearing when done in a way that offers respect and empathy. Many people are touch deprived especially in this age of hyper-sensitivity to sexual harassment or abuse. Yet the human species was not meant to be an island. Many of the happiest people are those who practice friendship that includes appropriate touch.

Acts of Service

Random but relevant acts of service is a seventh tip for growing and maintaining deep long-lasting relationships. Picking up their dry cleaning, driving with them to a doctor's appointment; fixing meals and taking a trip to the grocery store when some in the household is sick or injured are all examples of acts of kindness that can instill a sense of closeness and asexual intimacy.

In the fast-pace of the 21st Century most relationships are starved for meaningful relationships.Most friendships are superficial and rarely get to the levels that move and satisfy the soul. This hub presented seven tips for overcoming these obstacles for meaningful, long-lasting friendships.


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    • ecoggins profile image

      ecoggins 7 years ago from Corona, California

      KenWu, in some ways social networking has enhanced friendship because it makes people more accessible, but in other ways it lacks the human touch of being near and present with the person.

    • KenWu profile image

      KenWu 7 years ago from Malaysia

      Short but targeted. With today emerging information technology, we tend to spend time behind the pc, guess what networking is done on facebook and other social networking sites. But that's really lack of human true nature. :)

    • ecoggins profile image

      ecoggins 7 years ago from Corona, California

      Tyhill27 the characteristics of meaningful friendship do sound simple don't they, but we so slow to put them into practice. Thank you for your encouraging comment.

    • Tyhill27 profile image

      Tyhill27 7 years ago from Red Deer, Alberta

      Sounds so simple, yet so important and needed!

    • profile image

      driss 8 years ago

      fen recherchePeople those who want to establish a relationship of friendship

    • ecoggins profile image

      ecoggins 8 years ago from Corona, California

      37 years! Wow! That's great! Thanks for the encouraging comments.

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 8 years ago

      I enjoyed this hub. You are so right meaningful relationships do take time to build. Taking time to listen is also important. And yes, True friends are loyal.

      I am thankful to have been married to my one and only husband for thirty seven years. He is also my best friend... Blessings

    • ecoggins profile image

      ecoggins 8 years ago from Corona, California

      Gicky, Thank you for your comments. The Proverbs are an added bonus.

    • Gicky Soriano profile image

      Gicky Soriano 8 years ago from California

      ecoggins, reading your hub, I am reminded of Proverbs 27:6, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend." The true intimacy in our friendship is tested in the painful furnace of truth. Those closest to us are those who dare to risk the relationship in light of lovingly wounding us. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Prov 18:24). This kind of friendship is truly a gift from God. Thanks for your searching insights. It moved me to take inventory of my own friendships.


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