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ADVICE ON RECOVERING FROM A BREAK-UP
Remember Gone with the wind and Scarlet asks Rhett as he's leaving, "But Rhett, where shall I go, What shall I do?"
A Mothers advice to her daughter:
Recently I revisited my memories of my past failed relationships. Some fondly, some , eh, not so much. As my oldest daughter is just starting to engage in those serious relationships, you know, the ones that last longer than 2 weeks, she is starting to face the issues we all encounter with the "break-up".
As a Mom, we don't want to see our daughters make the same mistakes we did growing up, we also don't want to see them go through the hurt that failed relationships can bring. But mostly, we don't want to see them groveling at the feet of some unworthy male that has broken their heart.
As thier Mothers, we KNOW their VALUE and they are worth so much more than this male that has broken their heart deserves. I'm not leaving our sons out of this, as this article goes both ways, just so happens I haven't encountered this situation with my oldest son at this time.
Advice to successfully recover after a break-up:
- Value & love yourself first- Most important advice ever given. If you cannot love yourself enough to see your own personal value, who else will?
- Remove all evidence of the relationship- No pictures, no items left around to remind you of this situation and/or person & avoid all the old hang-outs
- Have your "pity" party- We all must have "grieving time". It's okay, listen to sad songs, cry your eyes out, watch old love movies. It's natural and in reality, a step that has to occur.
- Don't become an "anchor"- Become independent- which in turns makes you attractive. NO ONE WANTS AN ANCHOR! This means, no phone calls, no drunk dialing in the middle of the night. No excuses, such as: "I need you to come help me change my tire"- CEASE & RESIST!
- Keep busy- Now is your chance to do all those things you have been putting off while in this relationship .
- Focus on you time- Go get your nails done, buy yourself that new outfit or get that new hair style you've been considering. You so deserve it!
- Don't be in a rush- These things take time to get over, don't give up in a few days, be realistic, these things take time. You may start to feel like you will never get over this, you may be tempted to call this person to ask, "Why? What's wrong with me?" and I will save you the time right now and give you the answer: "It is not you and no, it's not this person. You just weren't the right person for HIM ,nor was he for you, he was just the one to say it first and you should be thankful he did." If at this time you are still feeling this way, start at step one again, because you obviously still aren't not seeing your worth and value.
- Don't revenge date- Some people think this is the best way to get an ex out of your mind. We all know this would either be a rebound relationship or a revengeful one night stand. At first you may "think" you feel better, but in the end it will cause you a loss of more self esteem and rebound relationships hardly ever work out and it's just not fair to the other person involved. If you feel this urge, go back to step one.
- Success - If you have successfully completed the above suggestions, then chances are your ex may have a renewed interest. However, upon successfully completing the steps above, chances are, you will not be interested in entertaining the idea of a failed experience again and that, my daughter, is the sweetest revenge!