- Gender and Relationships»
THE LITTLE important THINGS...THE BIG THINGS to HELP nourish and PROTECT a relationship
THINGS TO DO AND NOT DO FOR AN ENDURING RELATIONSHIP
THE LITTLE important THINGS...THE BIG THINGS
Click edit above to add content to this empty capsule.
THE LITTLE THINGS:
That little good morning/goodnight KISS and Hello/Goodbye.
That GOOSING/smack on the butt as you pass by
A gentle CARESS
The WORDS...I LOVE YOU daily
GIVE her a rose (just one) out of the blue for no reason at all.
Buy him his favorite candy bar(just one) out of the blue for no reason at all.
Send a LOVE/THANK YOU NOTE in the lunch box/bag
THE BIG THINGS: In addition to the previously mentioned in "Enduring Love"
*The WORDS...I LOVE YOU daily
**PRACTICE REPENTENCE: If you hurt your partner do follow all the steps to making it right--NOT just say I'm SORRY. Being humble enough to say I'M SORRY (privately/publicly if necessary) is great, but making AMENDS and NEVER doing it again are big healers and complete the process.
*HOLD EACHOTHER...after sex, during sex, before sex, watching movies, sitting, in bed etc.
HOLD HANDS: walking, sitting, talking etc.
*MAKE TIME FOR EACHOTHER...alone time together-specially if you have kids: I know a couple that every friday stops working at 2pm and do not take phone calls as that time is reserved for eachother and nobody else, and they go to a movie. They don't have kids but tend to work alot. I knew another couple who had kids but would get a babysitter and go out one time a month. Theyhave since stopped and life is now mostly about the kids--DON'T STOP!
Spending time together doesn't have to COST MONEY: My husband once decided we would go hiking every sunday. Also watching a MOVIE or TV together when the kids are sleep (put the kids to bed).
Give eachother PRIORITY: when it's your time such as the afore mentioned do not put it aside for other things, such as work etc. It's your time no matter what!
**Have SEX and enjoy it...very important! If you are not having it, or enjoying it, figure out why. Talk to your Dr. and or partner.
DO NOT use SEX to MANIPULATE: such as withhold sex to get back at the other person
DO NOT FORCE SEX!: Do not push it if the other person really isn't up to it, this should be a fun enjoyable experience for both.
DO NOT BREAK TRUST: In a relationship there shouldn't be a reason for private texting or hiding calls: There shouldn't be singleness as you are ONE. I remember the days without cell phones when there was one answering machine at home and there were no passwords either. Everybody go to hear the message when the play button was pushed. This whole my phone/ your phone...MY private life/YOUR life-- I believe has only come about witht the advent of the cell phone.
SHARE your day: texts, calls, work happenings, facebook, twitter, etc. After all you are probably sharing these with other people.
BE BEST FRIENDS: after all YOUR best friend should be the one you sleep with.
DO NOT USE HURTFUL WORDS/PUT DOWN YOUR PARTNER: name calling/ hurtful words linger in the mind and replay painfully in the heart when triggers bring them forth.
DO NOT BACK STAB: never say negative things to your mother, family or friends about the person you love. You don't want your partner to feel like they are sleeping with the enemy. If you need to vent go to a family counselor, talk to the fish, the sky etc. and leave it there.
The Little Things...One Rose
FAIR WARNING AND CONCLUSION
I give fair WARNING!-- these things must be practiced MUTUALLY or they may not work. Imagine a carriage where one ox pulls to the right and the other to the left. The carriage cannot move and it becomes harder work for the ox as they pull against eachother: indeed the carriage may break apart--so it is with marriage. Both partners must not just pull ,but pull in the same direction in order to happily move forward.
Marriage/relationships are a MUTUAL journey. In my opinion if you don't see it that way you shouldn't be in a relationship or married. The likelyhood that your marriage or relationship will fail is great. I believe a man by the name of Joseph Smith said something like this: if your WIFE doesn't like you in this world why would she want to be with you in the next? In the same token-- if your HUSBAND doesn't like you in this world why would he want to be with you in the next?
IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE AND YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM FOREVER...DO THE WORK.
Having and keeping a GOOD relationship takes work, focus and sometimes sacrifice--that is LOVE.
If you and your partner practice the important little things, avoid doing the bad things, and do the Bigger Things to mutually meet eachother's needs THEN you may have a long and enduring relationship/marriage.
I wrote this as a follow-up to my other hub...