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Ten Jobs Women Would Die For (and a bonus 11th)

Updated on November 23, 2008

10 Jobs women would die for - and currently CANNOT do...

(c) istockphoto.com
(c) istockphoto.com

10. Father Christmas

Oh come on, you wouldn't really want your little boys sitting on her knee would you?

Or your husband spending three hours in Santa's Grotto "queueing" with the kids...

Mrs Christmas maybe, but not Mother Christmas.

It's Jingle Bells not Jiggle Belles

French Foreign Legionnaire

9. French Foreign Legionnaire

Women aren't allowed to join. It's true that on October 12, 2000 the Legion was ordered that it had to accept women into its ranks. BUT (yes, there's always a but isn't there?):

According to a statement by Legion spokesman Lt. Col. Yann Peron, the announcement that women would be allowed to join was due to a "miscommunication." They backtracked and said that changes allowing women to serve in almost every function in the French Army wouldn't actually apply to the Legion, although female officers might be able to transfer from military schools. Yeah right. An article concerning this development appeared in the November 5, 2000 edition of the New York Times.

8. Chippendale

No women. That's right ladies, parts of you just aren't big enough!

You need rocks other than on your fingers to do this for a living!

Hell's Angels New York by David Shankbone
Hell's Angels New York by David Shankbone

7. Hells Angel

To be accepted as an Angel you have to be voted in unanimously by the Chapter's existing members and as Ralph "Sonny" Barger says: "You're always going to have someone who says no." Women are welcome in clubhouses and on runs but only with the status of being wives or girlfriends, known as "old ladies" - no actual female Hell's Angels.

Sonny says "We are male chauvinist pigs as far as women are concerned but we have a right to be because we want to be."

Catholic priests

6. Catholic Priest

Despite considerable pressure, from feminist groups and fast falling church numbers, the Vatican's position on the ordination of women stays the same. Not allowed. Pope Paul VI put forth the church's argument; "The example recorded in the Sacred Scriptures of Christ choosing his Apostles only from among men; the constant practice of the Church, which has imitated Christ in choosing only men; and her living teaching authority which has consistently held that the exclusion of women from the priesthood is in accordance with God's plan for his Church." If only the Sonny had put it so eloquently.

In 1994, having examined the matter to his satisfaction, Pope John Paul II announced: "I declare that the Church has no authority whatsoever to confer priestly ordination on women and that this judgment is to be definitively held by all the Church's faithful." But the kind old gent did add, "The presence and the role of women in the life and mission of the Church, although not linked to the ministerial priesthood, remain absolutely necessary and irreplaceable." So you can help out, but no membership card, ladies.

5. Gigolo

You can hire one, buy one and tip one, but you can't be one without some very expensive surgery. Unless you're one of those ladies with very interesting anatomy.

4. Sperm Donor

You've either got, or you haven't got.... SPERM.

But that's Ok ladies. They can't be egg donors. Oh yeah - that's right, the women got the painful option again... Mother Nature didn't exactly look after her own, did she girls?

3. The new Bond 007

The suspense is killing every time there's a Bond reshuffle.

But no matter how sultry we are, ladies can only be "Bond girls" which is kind of like Blone bimbos but with a bit more variety (and usually a gun).

Like Doctor Who, replacements and new incarnations can and always will be, men. Unlike the gender-changing Captains of Star Trek's USS Starships.

Come to think of it, were there any Female Jedi Knights?

(c) Getty Images
(c) Getty Images

2. A surprising number of military units still don't allow women...

  • US Army 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment - Delta (Delta Force)
  • Special Forces
  • Rangers
  • US Air Force Combat Controller Team
  • Pararescue
  • US MarinesRecon
  • SEALS
  • SWCC

In 2006, much to the surprise of the selectors who had probably planned failure, two women passed the gruelling selection course to join the British SAS (Special Air Service) for the first time. The selection includes both physical and mental tasks such as hiking for 23 miles carrying full kit, sleeping in muddy trenches (without makeup) having passed, guess what? They were told they would not be allowed to join. Unlike Canada, Norway and Holland, female soldiers in the British army are still banned from the front line. Are there any plans to change that? "No," says a spokesperson for the Ministry of Defence (a man of few words, obviously).

The British Special Reconnaissance Regiment (SRR) was recently formed to gather intelligence & carry out surveillance operations in the war on terrorism. Members of the SRR are recruited from throughout the UK military. The SRR is the only UK special forces unit to recruit women. The Special Reconnaissance Regiment (SRR) is a relatively recent unit of the British Army, specialising in "surveillance and intelligence gathering operations". The SRR recruits from across all UK regiments and is the only UKSF regiment to include women in operational roles. The secrecy surrounding the SRR is even greater than the SAS or SBS, with very little info about the unit leaking into the public domain, so whether they really have ay women or whether they have a couple of token men in drag, who knows.

The Pope

Pope Pius IX, excluding Saint Peter, the longest-reigning pope
Pope Pius IX, excluding Saint Peter, the longest-reigning pope

1. Pope

You can't be Pope without being a Cardinal.

You can't be a Cardinal without being a priest.

See No. 6 above.

No way Hosea.

The Dalai Lama

(c) Luca Galuzzi - www.galuzzi.it
(c) Luca Galuzzi - www.galuzzi.it

And your bonus.... The Dalai Lama

I don't think women can be reincarnated as the Dalai Lama.

But if I have this wrong, I am sure someone will enlighten me...

JimmytheJock a friend and fellow hubber has recently published the hub Ten Jobs Men Would Die For that compliments this hub so well.

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and I would most like to be...

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This hub brought to you...

by Julie-Ann Amos, professional writer, and owner of international writing agency www.ExquisiteWriting.com

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    • profile image

      Hippocratia 5 years ago

      I can be a EMT and survive the hike up Everest but I can't be a damn pararescue? Are you joking us army? Space and it's training course is more challenging and women have gone there and back! Wow congress thanks a freaken bunch.

    • SkeetyD profile image

      SkeetyD 7 years ago from Barbados

      This hub gave a new twist to a question that has been out there for a long time. I enjoyed reading it

    • profile image

      Mary 7 years ago

      Girls can be pararescue jumpers

    • Julie-Ann Amos profile image
      Author

      Julie-Ann Amos 8 years ago from Gloucestershire, UK

      Thanks Mary. You almost deserve to be Pope

    • profile image

      Mary Ward 8 years ago

      There are female Jedi Knights. But I don't think that was made apparent until the more recent trilogy. The new animated "Clone Wars" seals the deal--Asojka is Annikin's Padowan learner (like an apprentice).

      Just some useless info I picked up after having the newly released DVD played by my kids about 6 times in the last rainy 24 hours. :-S

    • jimmythejock profile image

      James Paterson 8 years ago from Scotland

      Hi Julie Ann, thanks for answering my request in such style, your hub goes well with the one I published recently for men, I have added a link to this page on it, thanks again.....jimmy

      https://hubpages.com/literature/Ten-Jobs-Men-Would

    • missymoo profile image

      missymoo 8 years ago from Kent, UK

      Very good... LOVE this hub... but I now feel rather inadequate :( Allison