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The 10 Secrets to Attract a Woman (while on a date)

Updated on June 3, 2013

Everyone on a date wants just to be themselves, but being successful on a date requires a certain amount of preparation just like being successful at life requires preparation. None of this should be a secret to anyone. Unfortunately, in the dating world, people focus too much on wanting people to accept them for who they are and sometimes who they are is sloppy, lazy, smelly, and boring.

In dating, as in life, you need to be your best self in order to be successful. Save the lazy, boring you for the couch at night or for your mom. When you're on a date, the secret to success is showing your potential mate the best side of yourself. Here are a few things that women find attractive and help men be the best that they can be and create the greatest potential for being successful with women.

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  1. Drive up in a nice car - Most women, although they will not admit it, judge a man a little bit by what kind of car he drives. Now, this isn't the only thing they judge him on, but it's part of the package. So, let's say you are very practical and drive a Toyota Yaris because you like the gas mileage, believe in small cars; etc. The Yaris isn't exactly a sexy vehicle. Well, this characterizes you to some degree. You are practical and plain. Maybe you have many other good qualities, but the same man driving the Yaris and driving a BMW give off very different vibes. So basically, if you're early in your dating life, the car isn't going to have a huge impact. If you're a professional, older person, the car says more about you. It says what kind of professional you are, how much money you make, and where you see yourself both now and in the future. Women read a lot into that. Depending on what your dating goals are and what kind of car you'd rive, you may want to leave your car at home.
  2. Smell good - If you haven't already figured this out, scents are a big deal to women. That's why we spend so much damn time buying and testing perfume, shampoo, and soap. A woman wants to know you know how to take care of yourself because, although she wants to mother her man, she doesn't want to be his mother. Also, guys who can't take a shower, can't do very well in life and are sucky husband material.
  3. Be confidently funny - This is the tone you want to take when you're on your date. Women like humor and they like confidence. Combine these two and you have a winning combination. Guys who can joke with women right off the bat, give as good as they get, are very sexy.
  4. Dress nicely - You don't have to wear a three-piece suit, but you have to know what you are doing with fashion. You can be perfectly casual, but sexy is a good pair of shoes and decent clothing. A nice outfit says to a woman that you have your act together. That will pay dividends in all kinds of ways, whether you're looking for some hot girl action or looking to get married.
  5. Be well groomed - This is a summary point almost because smelling good and dressing well are part of grooming, but it also means having good breath and having your hair under control. Understanding the importance of this stuff sends a strong message to a woman.
  6. Mystery - Don't divulge everything about yourself on the first date. In fact, don't divulge much at all and don't feel the need to pour your heart out. A woman who gets your life story on the first date is going to lose all interest. Maintain a sense of mystery. Make her want to have a second date to find out more. Simply put, you don't have to tell a woman everything. You shouldn't lie, but not blurting out everything that comes to mind isn't lying. Guys always think that honesty means saying everything out loud. That's not what it means.
  7. Don't ask for a second date or a next date - Many dates end with one party or the other saying something like "I really want to see you again." While it's certainly not going to make a woman say no or make a woman who has had a good time not take your next phone call, it's better to leave a woman with a sense of wonder about whether you're going to call again rather than assuring her that you're going to call again. The worst thing you can do is try to arrange a second date while on a first date or arrange a next date while on a date. This smacks of desperation and nobody like desperation.
  8. Keep the first date short - This is really just a first date piece of advice, but there's nothing that a woman hates more than a man who has no self-control and what better way to demonstrate you have no self-control than by keeping me on a date for say, five hours, because you don't know when enough is enough. This is generally good advice for all dates. You have to understand boundaries and when things have gone on for too long. Many men do not understand this and ruin their relationships in the process. Always leave her wanting more, not wanting less.
  9. Let her do the talking - Women like men who like to listen to them because usually our experience with men is that they like to talk a lot and usually about things we're not interested in, like football and video games and cars. If you can sit there and ask me questions and get me to talk and prove that you're a good listener, I'm going to fall for you that much more quickly.
  10. Pay the bill (but let her contribute if she wants) - Chivalry isn't dead. And sure, we live in an age where men and women should agree that men should not have to pay for everything, but still, some of us expect it because of how we were raised. When you don't pay the bill, it's a sign that you're cheap. In many cases, we'll offer to pay so that you don't think there's some quid pro quo. So, if we offer, you should graciously accept.


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  • dailytop10 profile image

    dailytop10 5 years ago from Davao City

    I agree to all of your tips other than the 9th. Some ladies like me prefer men who share their thoughts and are aggressive in building a good conversation. A man who do nothing but nod while on a date really turns me off.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Good advice! I had a guy show up hungover, smelling of alcohol, and with stains on his clothes. Needless to say, I did not go out with him again. You'd think people would know grooming is important. Guess not!