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The Married Life From A Woman's Point Of View

Updated on October 25, 2013

Know and Remember the Vows You Take

Marriage is always thought of as a happy blissful union between two people who are always laughing with each other, loving on one another, sharing good times, having fun, and a happily ever after.

The problem with this vision is some of us think saying “I Do” makes all the good things about marriage simultaneously fall into place. A happy marriage takes a lot of communicating, hard work, dedication, understanding, and the ability to forgive and forget. The biggest test of a marriage is the hard times. As a partner in marriage you must be able to be reasonable and love your spouse with unconditional love even when he or she makes a mistake. You are supposed to be the one person your spouse should be able to tell anything without judgment and ridicule.

Most people do not take into account the vows that they say when standing before God pledging their love for one another. I was married at the age of 19 my husband was 18 and we stood there before God about to make a promise to one another and God:

The vows we took were:

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and these witnesses, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony. Marriage which is a union instituted by God and should not be entered into lightly, but advisedly and in the love of God.

If there is anyone who causes why these two should not be joined in holy matrimony let them speak now or forever hold their peace. These two persons present come now to be joined as one.
Do you ________ take _________ to be your lawfully wedded wife, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and obey, from this day forward till death do you part.
I Do

The rings please

With this ring I thee wed

By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride
What God hath joined together, let no man put asunder.

The vows I took then I still hold in my heart to this day but that is after many, many, trials and tribulations along with handling problems the wrong way. I am a Christian women and I fear God I know how he feels about breaking a promise to him. I said,

“for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honor and obey, from this day forward till death do you part” I had already promised to forgive the mistakes my husband may make later in marriage and he did the same. Try to pray before reacting to problems and be patient enough to wait on the Lord, in the meantime remember the vows you took.

Over the course of 13 years I have learned that marriage is about two people learning to care more for their spouse than they care about themselves, not indulging in the things that upset or make your spouse feel insecure and trying to view things from their point of view.

The biggest mistake you can make about marriage is entering a marriage thinking it’s a game. Everything will not work out fine if being petty, having tit for tat fights, walking around on eggs shells is the best you can do when times are tough. Whenever a disagreement occurs stay on topic and do not turn it into an argument by making personal attacks. If you can not come to an agreement about the subject agree that you both have a difference of opinions and talk about something else. The silent treatment is never a good way to settle anything in a marriage no one is a mind reader, and someone has to be responsible enough to go first. The silent treatment opens both you open the door to start confiding in the person who just happens to notice how sad you are, this person now becomes easier to talk to than your spouse. This is wrong if you can tell a stranger you can tell you spouse, and you can not say your spouse is not easy to talk to if you have never given them a chance.

Anything worth having is worth fighting for you both just need to be willing to try communicating, listening, and praying for things to work out.

What took God’s help to join together will need God help to keep it together and make it stay together.

If you are not a believer of God I really can’t give you advice.

Thanks for listening!




To love honor and obey should not be things that you just say.

Wedding vows should be kept sacred and true.

He should mean them and she should too.

Where are those vows when things get rough?

Cursing, and screaming enough is enough.

Emotions get heated things escalate fast, forgetting about happier times of the past.

I loved him and he loved me yelling and name calling how could this be?

Walking around silent with nothing to say, we cannot continue living this way

We were soul mates destine to be together; too bad no one said it would be forever.

BY Raven

Date your mate

It is very important to have a date night with your spouse; you should plan to go to the movies, out to dinner, bowling, or anything that you two enjoy. It is important to spent time together with one another where there can be intimacy on a different level, you are already married so there is no question to the fact that you are going to sleep together tonight, it’s are we having sex tonight? Women and men are wondering the same things here but for some reason they both have stopped acting on the animal instinct which the share in the beginning and have each began waiting one another to make the first move.

Set the stage so that the environment allows the intimacy of the moments to move you, hold hands or his arm as you guys walk, look him in the eyes during dinner as you share conversation, sit close enough to be able to touch his thigh and rub his arms as you smile at him. These are signals that tell a husband he should be ready for his queue to begin his role; Men are ready to begin this role at any time but after marriage they sometimes put it away until they are giving the signal. Allowing their wives to be the ones to say honey, I want to have sex tonight. Nothing bores married people more than routine sex. The wives do not want to say let’s have sex they want it to be spontaneous and wild.

Husbands while walking around the house on weekend why don’t you whisper something in your wife’s ear that will make her cover her mouth with hand when she never spoke a word and blush like a school girl. Walk up behind her when she doing other things, press your body against her and kiss the back of her neck... you have got to remember what you were like before he or she married you and bring the fire back into your marriage.


Romance after marriage

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Sex after Marriage

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Marriage is Not a Fairy Tale

Marriage is not a fairy tale, that’s just what we tell ourselves.

He said this and she said that, he left for hours and never called back.

He promised to love her without condition, but his words break her down like it was his mission.

To love honor and obey, you must be careful of the words you say.

To have and to hold in times good and bad, but he do not embrace her when she is sad.

What happens when she finds another willing to do the things of a lover?

She gives him her heart and he loves her true; where does that leave you?

Upset, angry, and she isn’t shit, you should have thought about that before you call her a bitch.

The divorce is final she is free to shine with the man who gave up his time.

He says he loves her and she is his to keep as he tells her good night before he goes to sleep.

Marriage is not a fairy tale that’s just what we tell ourselves.


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    • RavenT2011 profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago from Tennessee

      Marriage is a fulltime commitment and you will get out of it just what you put into it. The person you marry should except you with all of your flaws. This is not to say that all marriages are meant to be and will work out but if you made the decision to marry this person then you had to believe they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with try to worry more about their needs than your own. God does not give up on any of us EVER,so why would you give up on him; because what God has joined together let no man tear asunder.


    • Julip Manor profile image

      Julip Manor 

      7 years ago from Kingwood, Texas

      Beautifully said. Thank you for taking a stand. Many times when someone divorces and trades up so to speak....they end up with the exact same problems, just a different face!


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