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10 Dating Rules for the Modern Woman

Updated on January 25, 2017
GreenEyes1607 profile image

Sabrina loves to write about love, life, and everything in between in a candid yet humorous approach.

Times have changed and so have expectations in dating. We live in a world where we expect everything to be fast and easy. Dial-up speed for internet is no longer acceptable because we expect high speed and nothing less. Cable packages with twenty-five channels is not enough, anything less then 200 channels is just not enough for the average person. Cell phones made to make calls and texts is so 2003, now we need the latest and fastest iPhones that do everything from letting us listen to music to using facetime to keep in touch with friends. The point is that the world moves fast and dating is no exception. But just because the world spins madly on doesn't mean that you have to do the same in the dating world. You have to know the new dating rules in order to make yourself stand out from the crowd and find the guy who is truly worthy of you.

Make a Great First Impression. This is the most important rule in the dating world. When we first meet people, we make impressions about them in the first five seconds. That is almost instantly and we usually don't change our first impressions about people so they tend to stick. This is why it's extremely important to make a good first impression when meeting a guy for the first time. This means you have to stand straight, smile, and appear to be confident in your own skin. You need to wear clothes that you feel comfortable in and that don't show too much skin. If you show legs, then don't wear a low-cut top. If you wear a low-cut top, then don't show legs. It's one or the other and never both. Makeup also needs to be moderate and not over the top. You need enough makeup to enhance your natural features but not completely change who you are. Remember that clothes and makeup say a lot about what type of person you are. Before we ever open our mouths to speak, our makeup and clothes have already said a lot about our morals and values. If you want to be taken seriously, you have to look the part of a woman that deserves respect.

Remain Mysterious. First dates are great for getting to know someone, but this doesn't mean they need your whole life story right away. You can give a guy details about your life and your hobbies, but don't give everything away on the first date. Half the fun of dating is getting to know someone over a period of time and slowly peeling away the many layers of them. If you have given them everything right away they might not be coming back for that second date.

Don't Talk about the Ex. The ex-boyfriend is part of the past and has no place in the present on your date. Never bring up your ex-boyfriend regardless if you have something good or not so good to say about him. You lose either way because if you have good things to say about your ex then your date might think you're still into him. But if you only say bad things about the ex, your date might then think you are full of drama and like to hold grudges. Unless he specifically asks about your ex, don't even bring him up. If he does ask, regardless of what happened, say it ended because you wanted different things. Whatever happened in reality, this is a good response that is both mature and wise.

Control your Drinking. I think it is smart to remain sober on a first date. You're meeting a guy for the first time and don't really know who he is and what he is capable of. You also know your limits and what happens when you drink too much. If you are a woman who can handle your alcohol and are confident that the guy you're meeting with won't take advantage of you, you can have one drink of something like beer. I definitely wouldn't recommend hard liquor on a first date. It's not classy. If you are a sloppy drunk and you know it, I would recommend sticking to water or soda. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by making a great first impression. If you end up dating the guy he'll have plenty of opportunities to find out whether you can hold your alcohol well or not. This is not the time for that.

To Kiss or not to Kiss. I think it's okay to kiss on the first date for two reasons only. One, you really felt a connection with the guy. Two, you see yourself going on a date with this guy again. Those are the only two reasons why you should kiss someone you just met. If you're not really feeling the date and you kiss the guy you are giving him false hope which is wrong. If you kiss the guy but aren't sure if he feels the same about the connection then it's just awkward. If a date went well you both will know it and act accordingly. Even if the date went well and you didn't kiss that's still okay. Maybe he is a shy guy or just doesn't kiss on the first date. Regardless, trust yourself on this one because when you know you know.

Don't Sleep with Him. However the first date goes, don't sleep with him that night. Seriously don't. This is a common mistake many women make in order to prove they like a guy and persuade him to take her on a second date. The truth is, if a guy likes you, he will ask you for a second date whether you sleep with him or not. And the hard truth is that if he doesn't like you, he won't ask you on a second date, regardless if you had sex or not. Maybe he's the type of guy who needs a few dates with you to figure out if he wants to continue seeing you or not. Sleeping with him right away could just push him away because now he's going to be scared that you're one of those girls that moves too fast. For all he knows, you might want to move in next month and to him that's scary considering you just met tonight. Remember, don't act like a one night stand unless you want to be a one night stand. If you end up dating this guy there is plenty of time to get intimate with him.

Don't Play Phone Games. A guy who is interested in you will call or text you shortly after your date. He probably won't wait three days because he doesn't like to play games either. If he does wait three days, don't rule him out just yet. Maybe he got busy with life and work or is just playing it cool because he doesn't want to scare you off. Just see what he says and you'll know whether a second date is in the books or not. Whatever you do, don't call or text him first. This is a real turn off for most guys. Just be patient and see what happens. If he's meant to be in your life he will find a way don't forget that.

Beware of Online Dating. Online dating is popular right now and it's not going away anytime soon. This means you need to become a pro at online dating so that you can meet a wide variety of guys in a safe and fun way. Just remember that we're talking about the internet and on the internet anything goes. You can be anyone you want on the internet, so if a guy you're chatting with seems too good to be true, it probably means that he is. Do your research and protect yourself before you meet with him in real life. Just google image search and see where else his photo comes up on the internet. If he is using the model photos of someone else on his online dating profile then you already know he is not trustworthy. Don't meet this guy in person because you have no idea who he could turn out to be. There must be a reason he is using someone else's photos rather then his own. If the guy you talk with online does check out and seems to be the real deal, still meet him in a public place for the first few dates just to be on the safe side.

Trust your Instincts. I think most people know when they're in a good or bad situation. If you feel something is off with your date, go with your gut and act accordingly. If you don't feel safe then you need to leave. Always tell someone where you're going so that if something happens to you, your friends and family will know the last place you were and can find you. Never tell someone you live alone, or are new in town and don't know many people. This is one of those details that you need to keep to yourself until you know the guy better. if the situation feels wrong or unsafe in some way, find a way to get out and ask someone for help. Don't worry about being rude when your safety is at risk. Do what you need to do to get safely home.

Respect Yourself. Remember to respect yourself and don't settle for less then you deserve. You don't need to "trick" a guy into liking you because the right guy will like you without you having to do anything at all but be yourself. Don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable or wrong just to get a guy's attention. Know that you deserve a nice and respectful guy who treats you like a lady and not a one night stand. If you respect yourself, a guy will respect you as well. Set high standards and don't lower them for anybody, no matter how nice they ask. Remember that dating should be a fun experience and a chance to get to know a guy who will make you feel happy and loved. Anything less is just not acceptable, no matter how the world works today.


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    • GreenEyes1607 profile image
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      GreenEyes1607 2 years ago from USA

      Thanks for your feedback :)

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      I especially agree with the kiss on the first date advice if someone really has a connection. You don't want a date to end with a rejection. If someone leans in to kiss you and you push them away or turn your head odds are they're not going to be in a rush to call you for a second date!

      Naturally if you don't have any interest in them you shouldn't kiss.

      Ultimately life is a personal journey.

      You're entitled to have your own dating and mate selection process.

      The only rules that matter are (your) rules!

      Know yourself, Love yourself, & Trust yourself