The Symbiotic Relationship Between Men And Women

The adjacent photograph of the Earth, was taken by the Voyager 1 spacecraft from a distance of 6 billion kilometers. At the edge of our solar system, Earth appears as nothing more than a pale blue dot in a band of sunlight, in an enormous black void. It is worth looking at that photo because it puts things in perspective. We only have one planet to live on at the moment and that is unlikely to change anytime soon. Despite the decades of searching the skies for signs of intelligent life, it would appear we are on our own. We need to remember how fragile our civilisation truly is and that unless we start cooperating with each other, our species is going to become extinct. Intelligence is a relatively new mutation in the history of the evolution of life. Whether or not it is a lethal mutation remains an unanswered question. Some scientists suggest that perhaps one reason why we have not detected any radio signals from other civilisations, is because they destroy themselves shortly after they become technologically advanced.

Either way, one thing is certain. We need to change our ways if humans are to survive the next thousand or so years. The deterioration of the relationship between men and women at an individual level and societal level, is symptomatic of a much wider problem in society. We have structured civilisation on the premise that our individual self-interests are mutually exclusive. We have ignored the basic truth that our interests are interdependent on each other. This is why we have problems in our markets such as asymmetry of information between buyer and seller, externalities like pollution and the formation of monopolies. It is why we have wars, crime and violent conflict. Our basic philosophy on life requires that we compete with each other, rather than cooperate. We justify this mindset based on an assumption that resources are too scarce to meet everyone’s self interests. Yet technology gives us a means through which to reduce scarcity and conflict. It gives us an alternative to ruthlessly competing with each other. We can cooperate with one another and use technology to solve issues of scarcity. Don't get me wrong, competition can be a good thing and it is sometimes unavoidable, however is it always the best option and necessary?

Today our society is faced with many problems. Climate change, economic mismanagement and a looming food, energy and population crisis are some of them. I believe that many of these problems are all interconnected at a fundamental level. It is our mindset and our social relations that need to change before we can develop the technical solutions to solve these problems. In order to do this we have to focus on the most basic relationship that exists between humans, the relationship between men and women. This relationship is fundamental to the family unit and society as a whole. It is the social dynamic that underpins everything we do. Due to it’s role in families and the upbringing of children, the relationship between men and women has the most profound influence on our thinking. The relationship between our parents is critical to how we interact with others and view the world later on in life, among other things. This translates from the micro scale to the macro level in society.

Humans have been around for approximately 200,000 years. For basically all of that history, the relationship between men and women has been one focused on cooperation. Arguably that is still true today to some extent. However I think most of us would agree that in the last 50 years, the relationship between men and women has been deteriorating and so has the family unit. This has been accompanied by massive advances in technology, which have driven profound social change (and movements such as feminism). Unfortunately our mindset has not changed as quickly as we have advanced in technology.

I look at the current state of affairs between feminism and men’s rights. It is symptomatic of a society that has a win/lose mindset. A society that frames social interaction as a zero-sum game. We can see this emerge in feminist theory on patriarchy, male privilege and their view on male oppression of women (see my critique of patriarchy theory, male privilege etc). Embedded in their ideology is a framework that pits men against women (see my article on hate in modern feminism). An ideology that regards the advocacy of female emancipation as a gender war and a struggle against male tyranny. Yet it completely ignores the fundamental reality that men and women are dependent on one another and love one another. It ignores the fact that the self interests of the two genders are not mutually exclusive.

Instead of seeking a cooperative partnership with the men’s rights movement (MRM), many feminists see the MRM as a competitor. This is wrong. The relationship between men and women is like that of two people in a boat. If they both row on only one side, the boat just goes around in circles. We have to stop gender relations going around in circles. To do that we have to focus on the rights and well-being of men, as well as the rights and well-being of women. We can longer simply focus on just one side of the social equation.

The time has come for men and women to start working together again and renewing the decaying institution of the family. It absolutely vital for our future children that we do this. The family needs to be renewed to give our children the best opportunity to realise their potential and to most importantly instill a value system in them that will safeguard society from collapse. Our culture is in decline and our societies are deteriorating. We need to start doing something about it.

So to that end I would ask authentic feminists who believe in equality for women without treading on the rights of men, to form a partnership with the MRM and vice versa (the bigots and hypocrites masquerading as feminists are not welcome!). I don’t see why people cannot be in favour of women’s rights as well as men’s rights. In fact I see an enormous untapped opportunity to address social problems from two angles. Domestic violence is one such example. Wouldn’t it be great if the MRM and feminists worked together on solving domestic violence? Some of the men’s rights issues are related to male domestic violence and some of the issues women face drive female domestic violence against men. The point is that the issues men face and women face, are often two sides of one coin.

We are at a critical stage in our evolution where we have a lower primitive instinctual brain that has a well developed cerebral cortex at it’s disposal. We are still not fully in control of our animal instincts and yet we have developed the intellect to destroy ourselves. With time we will be become less influenced by our lower brain as our evolution progresses. In the interim we need to exercise restraint and reflect on how we are framing conflict and social relations.

Feminists need to consider whether conflict with the MRM is truly necessary and what is driving them to view the MRM as a threat in the first place. Instead of framing conflict along the lines of power and distributive outcomes, it would wise to frame the relations with the MRM along interests and integrative outcomes. Don’t state a position, state your interests. Don’t focus on differences, focus on areas of commonality. Don’t attack men, attack the problem. Above all, develop a cooperative orientation with the MRM, rather than a competitive orientation.

We need to stop polarising issues on the basis of gender and fuelling a pointless gender war. We need a partnership to emerge between authentic feminism and the men’s rights movement. I honestly believe there are feminists that want this as much as the MRM does. The only thing standing in the way of such a partnership, are the hypocrites and bigots masquerading as feminists. Feminists need to do what the MRM does and self-police. They need to weed out the hypocrites and bigots in their ranks. They need to stop remaining silent or ignoring and laughing off man-haters like Andrea Dworkin and work like the SCUM manifesto.

A symbiotic relationship between feminism and masculism that builds synergy is what society needs. Not only does this reflect the natural relationship between men and women, it also removes the destructive inefficiencies from men and women engaging in a pointless conflict over power. Such a partnership will require trust and that will require transparency. Bigotry and hypocrisy within feminism must therefore be eradicated before a partnership can form between authentic feminism and the MRM.

Personally I have no problems with authentic feminists or women in general. My beef is specifically with the bigots and hypocrites within the feminist movement, their one-sided ideology and the general misandry in society. We need to cut these people off from funding, public attention and support. Ignoring or downplaying their destructive influence gives them the freedom they need to run amok.

Evil grows when we turn our back on it and remain apathetic.